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Really? I mean really, seriously, telling the dead to have a nice day

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 GREC# 169695

Don't get me wrong, I talk to dead people often.  I actually type messages on the facebook pages of some of my friends who are gone from time to time. I left that message for Whitt on facebook when I cut his shrubs down. I have the house I sold him listed for his estate.  And I know in my heart that he will forgive me, but that he wasn't happy we cut them down to nubbins.  He was stomping around in heaven.  I am sure of it.  But anyone, his family included that read my post knows I know that Whitt passed away two years ago.

In the last few days I have seen some thoughtless "Happy Birthday, have a great day" "Happy Birthday hope the cake is good" messages left by people that I would have thought would have at least looked at the wall before they posted the message.  Generally speaking, if you scroll down a bit on the facebook page of someone who has passed away there will be some clues.

In my opinion it's better to ignore or unfriend someone's "birthday" on Facebook if you didn't even know them well enough to know they are dead.  I'm going to get off my soap box now.  It's been one of those days.

Posted by

706-485-9668  us on facebook

Tammy@Lake-Sinclair.com

(Click on Lane Realty Logo for web site)

Tammy Lankford, Broker/Owner

 

Broker License # 169695  Lane Realty License # H-11420

Real Estate Instructor License # 355089

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Show All Comments Sort:
Jeanne Gregory
RE/MAX Southwest - Sugar Land, TX
The most important home I sell is YOURS!

Facebook actually has an option now that you can "appoint" a person to administer your site when you're gone. 

Mar 31, 2015 11:45 PM
Nicole Doty - Gilbert Real Estate Expert
Zion Realty - Gilbert, AZ
Broker/Owner of Zion Realty ZionRealtyAZ.com

There are levels of "friendship" on Facebook and only those that I personally know in my daily or weekly walk in life do I wish a happy birthday to. So if one of these people were to pass away I'd know it. 

Apr 01, 2015 12:32 AM
Brian England
Ambrose Realty Management LLC - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

I often wonder about that as well when I see those posts, such an interesting topic.  I also wonder if when people pass away, do I delete theif facebook page from my friends list?  I never do and I guess it would always be nice to look back on their page and enjoy the memory of the person.

Apr 01, 2015 01:33 AM
Sham Reddy CRS
Howard Hanna RE Services, Dayton, OH - Dayton, OH
CRS

I think Facebook has a new policy for profile of people who passed on like memorial profile as long as someone manages it

Apr 01, 2015 01:58 AM
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Tammy, wow, that would be a huge mistake, and sad for the family to read that!  

Apr 01, 2015 03:31 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate Services

Tammy, I agree with you. I know several people who passed last year and their FB page remains. We still leave comments and wish them happy birthday even knowing they made their transition.  It does not not seem like that is the case on Whitt's page.

Apr 01, 2015 08:03 AM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Lise Howe sometimes I think they just don't know and the intent isn't bad, but perhaps they should check.

Elite Team I have blocked all game requests and if you can sign in to your husband's page you can do that too.

Grant Schneider I love keeping up with friends on facebook.

Mark Don McInnes, Sandpoint I love keeping up with friends and family there.  I have nieces and nephews that live all around the globe and love seeing posts and photos of them.

Apr 01, 2015 08:23 AM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Sussie Sutton I have no issues with it being there or anyone leaving a comment, but I'm only talking about when it's obvious that the person leaving the comment doesn't know the person has passed.

Gayle Rich-Boxman Fishhawk Lake Realtor (503)755-2905 Okay I promise a feel good post tonight

Ed Silva I don't mind the page being there, I find it sad when people don't know/realize a friend has passed

Evelyn Johnston I guess I've lost so many I just always do it when those birthday notices pop up.

Apr 01, 2015 08:28 AM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Chris Ann Cleland I don't think my family would deactivate my page.  I think they would be comforted by people who left messages, but annoyed if someone posted a happy birthday without knowing I was dead.

Larry Johnston it wasn't my friend Whitt that I saw it on, but an AR member who passed last year.  It was lots of other AR members who were posing it.

Joan Whitebook I think you should go to their page and read a little before throwing a happy birthday out there.

Apr 01, 2015 08:32 AM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Fred Griffin oh I love facebook.  But every once in a while I houseclean my "friends" there.

Myrl Jeffcoat another reason I houseclean my FB friends every once in a while.  I've never been a people collector there. I like to be friends with folks on FB that I've made a genuine connection with... even if I never met them. 

Jerry Lucas I think it's fine to leave the page up, but people posting Happy Birthday should check the page is my point.

Lisa Von Domek I keep up with family and likely spend about an hour there a day.  Generally speaking it is an hour I really should be sleeping, but oh well.  Have lots of family on the west coast.

Noah Seidenberg that does seem very strange.

Apr 01, 2015 08:38 AM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Troy Erickson I might not connect with friends from previous job and high school, but that one time a year, but I do read on the person's page a bit before I type Happy Birthday 

Roger D. Mucci was nice of someone to let you know and I get that we don't stay "in touch" with all our facebook friends on a regular basis.  But generally speaking you can go to someone's page and figure it out most of the time.  Not always, but most.

Apr 01, 2015 08:45 AM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Wayne Martin I have had that happen as well.

Joe Petrowsky and unless their family wants their account deleted I have no issues with it being left there.  I would hope if I died tomorrow lots of folks would come by AR when they found out and wish my Donald peace

Kathy Streib it was indeed an AR friend

Liz and Bill Spear I have one I know coming up tomorrow.  I'll leave him a message, but to all who read it they will know that I know where he is

Gita Bantwal it was a former AR peep and I guess some missed the post when that person passed.

Apr 01, 2015 09:02 AM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Jeanne Gregory really?

Nicole Doty - Gilbert Real Estate Expert I actually wish a lot of AR friends happy birthday on AR but I know.

Brian England I keep them in the contacts on my phone as well. I find it comforting

Sham Reddy but how do they know?

Apr 01, 2015 09:07 AM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Joan Cox my thoughts were about the family as well

Kathleen Daniels This was obvious that the person didn't know.

Apr 01, 2015 09:08 AM
Lise Howe
Keller Williams Capital Properties - Washington, DC
Assoc. Broker in DC, MD, VA and attorney in DC

Oh - and Tammy Lankford - I should have prefaced my comments with - I talk to dead people all the time - it is my southern heritage!

Apr 01, 2015 12:51 PM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Lise Howe oh so I do this because I'm southern? LOL 

Apr 01, 2015 01:03 PM
Lise Howe
Keller Williams Capital Properties - Washington, DC
Assoc. Broker in DC, MD, VA and attorney in DC

I don't know - you could be a Yankee transplant who talks to the dead! LOL - but my mother raised me to venerate the ancestors- Christmas wreaths, Easter flowers, fourth of july - the whole thing - and I go out to Arlington Cemetary and talk to my mother and ask her to bring me good transactions and she does!

Apr 01, 2015 01:08 PM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Lise Howe oh no I'm southern and have 7 generations buried in the area dating back to before America was a country. :)  

Apr 01, 2015 01:12 PM
Lise Howe
Keller Williams Capital Properties - Washington, DC
Assoc. Broker in DC, MD, VA and attorney in DC

OK = I know who I am calling tomorrow to talk to! Taking a page from Margaret Rome's book - have a great evening!  

Apr 01, 2015 01:15 PM
Claude Labbe
RLAH / @properties - Washington, DC
Realty for Your Busy Life

Tammy, I'm thinking your post was appropriate and may have even brought a knowing smile from Whit's facebook buddies & family who saw the post.

I get a whole bunch of facebook birthday greetings, often wondering..."who is that?".

Context & relationships are important, even in facebook.

Apr 03, 2015 02:40 PM