Make Me Laugh!

Real Estate Broker/Owner with Providence Group Realty TREC# 0608931

Humor is one of the quickest ways to overcome distance and uncertainty between new  acquaintances. The art of conversation is a learned technique, and those who struggle with "small talk" and "soft conversation" can benefit from "stocking the pantry" with favorite "canned" one-liners designed to break the ice and build trust.

Although not our original creations, these are a few of our favorite quips:

  • The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

  • If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

  • So what if I can't spell 'armaggedon'? It's not like it's the end of the world...

  • A man was in court for stealing a bag. It took just 3 minutes to get sentenced... It was a briefcase.

  • Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

  • I'm going to make a TV series about a plane hi-jacking. We just shot the pilot.

  • I'd like to defend a penguin in court just to say,  "Your Honor, my client is clearly not a flight risk."

  • Hummingbirds are just regular birds that don't know the words.

  • Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher? He couldn't control his pupils.

  • My new favorite band is Dog Whistle... You won't have heard them

  • Did you hear about the lonely pyromaniac? He's still looking for the perfect match.

  •  What's amnesia?

  • I had a steak at this restaurant last night that mooed at me... I thought, "That's rare!"

  •  Got in a fight with a sea creature that I thought was my friend... Turned out, he was anemone. 

Eager to develop your interpersonal skills and step up your speaking game? Join us for our next Speakers of the House Toastmasters meeting. Make new friends and learn invaluable presentation skills in a safe, supportive, and collaborative professional business networking group.

Do you have a LOL you would like to share? Reply to this post and we may feature your name & contribution in our next Speakers of the House Toastmasters blog post!


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Bruce Walter
Keller Williams Realty Lafayette/West Lafayette, Indiana - West Lafayette, IN

Amanda, these are very funny!  I'll take a feeble crack at it by combining some real estate and politics.

Hillary Clinton would never view a red brick home at an open house in Iowa while campaigning,  because she is looking for a WHITE House.



Apr 16, 2015 07:57 PM #1
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
New Hampshire Home Stager

Very funny!  Humor has always been a big part of my life...I come from a very funny family and there is never a dull moment!

Apr 17, 2015 01:18 AM #2
Marney Kirk
Cummings & Co. Realtors - Towson, MD
Towson, Maryland Real Estate

Amanda, I had heard most of these, but not this one -- and it made me giggle! "If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?" HA! Loved it! Humor is a great way to break the ice!

Apr 21, 2015 06:26 AM #3
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Amanda, lots of things to laugh about, and have to remember these!

Apr 24, 2015 11:32 AM #4
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Amanda Thomas

​Broker, SRES®, BPOR, MCNE, ​Certified DRS Agent™
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