Special offer

Come On Buyers, Waste My Time. It's Fine, Really.

By
Real Estate Agent with Long and Foster REALTORS (703) 470-4545 0225085927

A few weeks ago, I attended a wedding.  And at the table during dinner I was lucky enough to be seated next to a gentleman who was retired from the real estate business.  Although we disagreed about who would prevail in the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight later that evening, he left me with a piece of advice that I have been pondering ever since.

I was lamenting that evening about a couple who had written 2 offers so far on properties through me, did not want my advice, wanted to "find the house" on their own - which these days translates into their sending me a long list of houses from ZTR to "check out" only to have me send their long list back to them with each property marked "under contract, short sale, under contract, sold, withdrawn, sold, under contract...etc) - and only "needed" me to write the offer.  They would check out houses themselves at open houses. And then had me write two offers that were ill advised, but hey, they could not be persuaded otherwise.

I asked him how I should tactfully "break up" with them.

And he asked, "Why would you want to?"

I looked at him kind of funny, as if he had not been listening and said, "Because they are wasting my time!" 

He chuckled and said, "Okay, let's see, you spend 5 minutes looking up houses that are off the market, you showed them 2 houses and you wrote 2 offers, right?"

You haven't spent all day driving them around, showing them neighborhoods nor have you driven them around all day showing houses. So far, you're in it for chump change, basically, right?"

I had to concede I had not spent that much time with them and the time I had spent writing offers I had spent in the comfort of my own home, with the music cranked up.  I can do that all day. Any day.

"Let me ask you," he said, "what's really the problem?" 

"They won't listen to me.  I could help them actually GET a house, not just write on a bunch of them." 

"Have you ever shown multiple properties and written multiple offers to people with whom who you have also spent hours and hours in the car?"

"Sure." 

"What's the difference?"

"They listened to me." 

And there it was. Ego.

I finally had to admit to him I liked people who listened to me. Who found my advice valuable. Who actually respected what I was doing and thought I added value to their home search.

He said, "You know, there's nothing wrong with that, it's human nature, but at the end of the day, if you stick it out with these folks for a while longer, you may get a paycheck. And they may be listening more than you think."

Hour for hour, dollar for dollar, he may actually be right.  We have all certainly spent time in good faith with people who seemed to be earnest about their home search, who listened to our advice, who did all the "right" things but in the end, never did buy a house, for a variety of reasons. 

We all have to decide when we have "had enough" but for me, I think I will rethink how quickly I jettison clients and be a little more patient when deciding whether they are, in fact, wasting my time. 

Comments (128)

Rose Mary Justice
Synergy Realty Pros - Dandridge, TN
Synergy Realty Pros

Point well taken. They might just get an accepted soon. I think they listen more than we know. They just want to be in Control.

May 22, 2015 07:08 AM
Woody Edwards
First Choice Realty, Inc - Chesterfield, VA
A Realtor® Who Answers His Phone!

Older brains often come up with some good ideas.....sometimes we just get lost!

May 22, 2015 07:27 AM
John F Muscarella
RIVER FARM PROPERTIES, LLC - Venice, FL
Broker/Owner, Venice, FL, Florida's Suncoast

You were very lucky to run into this guy.  Business is good business as long as it is ethical.  And yes you did learn something of yourself - time well spent.

May 22, 2015 07:39 PM
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Susan,

Great advice from your friend at the table.  We all like to have people listen to us, and they are in a way listening to you by trusting you to write the offer for them.  There are folks who have to do it their way, all they want is a little assist for you.  I hope this works out for you.  A

May 23, 2015 12:46 AM
Christi Farrington
Dagny's Real Estate - Wilton, CT
~ Your representative in Fairfield County, CT

Great post and many interesting answers. At some point, I can get people away from ZTR when they realize that they are wasting 'their' time by chasing properties that are no longer available.  When that time arrives, I do what Karen Winters, #44 does and put them on Listingbook.  That way they get real, up-to-the-minute information, and we're able to proceed. 

May 23, 2015 04:26 AM
Alicia Spears
Alicia Spears Realty - Orlando, FL

This is the new buyer.  Our roles have changed, we need to adapt and innovate. Our biggest job is to manage their expectations.   I've found that it's best to ignore their price range when initially setting up MLS searches for buyers.  Buyers are like puppies, they are excited and want to see everything!  As long as they are looking on their computer screens I welcome it.  I inundate them with listings in their area and areas they didn't think they would consider in every price range.   After a couple of weeks (at most) of searching via there computer screens they are usually ready for me to set up parameters.  They've learned the market and have seen with their own eyes what kind of house they can afford.  They are much easier to work with because they trust me.   

May 24, 2015 12:44 AM
Amy Gutschow
RE/MAX - Sheboygan, WI
Professional Real Estate

Ego is always the enemy of a real estate deal.  As long as all the parties involved do not feel their ego's have been insulted a deal can go smooth

May 24, 2015 11:52 AM
Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS
Fathom Realty Washington LLC - Tacoma, WA
South Puget Sound Washington Agent/Broker!

I am always amazed that how ego affects ou every day life. It is wonderful how this gentleman was able to point out some things that ego tries to have you forget Susan Haughton!

May 26, 2015 06:37 AM
Mary Hutchison, SRES, ABR
Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate-Kansas City Homes - Kansas City, MO
Experienced Agent in Kansas City Metro area

What an interesting conversation!  I can relate to the 'they won't listen to me' as we want our buyers to value our opinion--after all, we are the ones who live the business every day!  Good luck with the sale when it comes!

May 26, 2015 11:25 AM
Lou Ludwig
Ludwig & Associates - Boca Raton, FL
Designations Earned CRB, CRS, CIPS, GRI, SRES, TRC

Susan

Something a difference point of view . . . . can have a big impact on our thinking.

Good luck and success.

Lou Ludwig

May 26, 2015 12:03 PM
Barrett Henry P.A.
The NOW Team at RE/MAX - Tampa, FL
The NOW Team is your RE/MAX team for Tampa FL

Susan Haughton very nice post! I just realized I don't have a "posted by" section on my blog. If you get a chance take a look at my post about FREE pictures for your blog: http://activerain.com/blogsview/4673484/free-blog-picture-links-for-a-like-on-facebook-yes-please

May 26, 2015 01:16 PM
Malendaz Coleman
FLAT MLS LISTING SERVICES - Port Charlotte, FL
FLAT FEE MLS LISTING SERVICES - LIST LOW AS $69.00

 It's all about the roll of the dice!!! Great Post!!!

May 26, 2015 01:48 PM
Scott Godzyk
Godzyk Real Estate Services - Manchester, NH
One of the Manchester NH's area Leading Agents

You know there seems to be more and more of these types of buyers, i thought the all came to me with their lists and low ball offers. I like the way he thinks and think i will stick it out more as well. 

May 26, 2015 10:48 PM
Karen Pannell
Real Living / Home Realty - Owensboro, KY
Owensboro KY Real Estate -270-903-2167 Homes, Cond

Hi Susan,

Great post!  I also find myself getting frustrated with people, when in fact, the things that frustrate me are just part of a day in the life of a REALTOR - I have to adjust my attitude and realize that this business is changing everyday and that it's all about the people.  I have to remind myself that the consumer just doesn't understand our business and I have to gently educate them along the way.  I wish they would trust me immediately, but trust is something we have to earn.  I can't change other people, but I can change me - that is something I work on daily!  Best wishes to you and thanks for the post to keep me on point!

May 28, 2015 03:43 AM
Claude Labbe
RLAH / @properties - Washington, DC
Realty for Your Busy Life

Nice post Susan.  You may not agree on the fight with this veteran, but you've got to agree he was a wise man.

Nice to see you were Featured as well.

In the next few days, I really have to work out this wisdom in my mind, because I do think I'd have reached your initial conclusion, and I need to ensure I'm not doing that in order to assuage my own demanding ego.

 

 

May 28, 2015 04:41 PM
Susan Haughton
Long and Foster REALTORS (703) 470-4545 - Alexandria, VA
Susan & Mindy Team...Honesty. Integrity. Results.

Claude Labbe After being in the business for a few years, I wonder if our tolerance has changed because we are busy and are acutely sensitive to not wasting time because we don't need to. We have business and crave time more than we crave more business so time is more precious to us...does that make sense?

May 28, 2015 09:45 PM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
Retired New Hampshire Home Stager

Congrats on the well deserved feature!

I was reading along thinking "dump them" and then the AHA moment. Wow.

Amazing how obvious it all seemed once he said the words. Clear as a bell.  You should thank whoever is responsible for the seating plan at that wedding!

Jun 02, 2015 10:55 PM
Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

There is always a different way of looking at at a situation. Wasting time, writing offers...I think not. As a listing agent, these are the few buyers I choose to work with 

Jun 22, 2015 10:05 PM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

This is a good story to share. Setting aside the ego may be a requirement in many transactions.

Jul 15, 2015 10:42 PM
Yolanda Cordova-Gilbert
Richmond, TX

Susan,

 I loved this post and it did deserve the feature status it received! That gentleman was very wise. He should hire out to be a consultant!

Jul 19, 2015 06:37 AM