Did I shame someone?

Real Estate Agent with Hollish Hill Group, JPAR Stellar Living

Yesterday I was in a shop getting coffee and I was waiting for my order. I noticed a woman who was getting herself a drink. She dropped napkins on the floor and looked down at them. Then she took her foot and tried to push the napkins under the table while she took another napkin. 

When she turned in my direction, I held my glance at her for a few seconds. It was enough to say I saw that without actually saying a word. Then I turned away. I looked back and she was bent over, picking up the napkins. 

Did I shame her into picking them up rather than leaving them on the floor for someone else to pick up later?

I wasn't sure how I felt about the situation, but it has stayed with me.

Have I done things that I would have done differently if I knew someone was watching? Have you? 

I didn't really mean to shame her, but I'm glad that I could make her realize the error of her ways and fix the situation. It's good to know that her conscience knew what to do. 

Posted by


Dana Hollish Hill
REALTOR * Broker * Coach 
JPAR Stellar Living
800 S Frederick Ave, Suite 200, Gaithersburg, MD 20877
office 301.944.9070  
cell  202.271.5301
web danahill.jpar.com

Comments (11)

Susan Nealey
Coldwell Banker Realty - Annapolis, MD
No Pressure! Ever!

I think you did shame her into picking them up.  Good for you.  Now do something about the idiots who throw lit cigarette butts out of the car window as they are riding down the road!!

May 22, 2015 04:08 AM
Brian Olsen
Portland, Lake Oswego, West Linn & Dunthorpe Neighborhoods, Waterfront, Luxury & Floating Homes - Lake Oswego, OR
Cooper Jacobs Real Estate Group | Keller Williams

Have YOU heard about the water shaming that folks are doing on social media. CA is entering a 3rd year of drought and neighbors are posting pics & video of neighbors using too much water to water the yard!


May 22, 2015 04:12 AM
Green Forest Properties
Golden, CO
Your Local Golden, CO Real Estate Professional

It's crazy how dry California is yet Colorado is drowning! C'mon clouds! 

May 22, 2015 04:53 AM
Tanya Van Blake-Coleman
Van Blake-Coleman Realty, St. Thomas/www.talk-to-Tanya.com - St Thomas, VI
Improving the Quality of Your Life

Not sure if you shamed her but you let her realize it wasn't an unnoticed occurrence. She was lacking in integrity albeit in a small situation but hopefully she will act as if someone is watching more often as we all should.

May 22, 2015 05:03 AM
Chris and Dick Dovorany
Homes for Sale in Naples, Bonita Springs and Estero, Florida - Naples, FL
Broker/Associate at Premiere Plus Realty

Good for you.  I do that all the time in the grocery store parking lot with people who do not return the carts.  If they leave it right in front of me I say "DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BANG UP MY JAGUAR".

May 22, 2015 05:50 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate Services

No telling for sure what motivated her to pick up the napkins. The fact that she did pick them up is a good thing. 

May 22, 2015 06:17 AM
Lou Ludwig
Ludwig & Associates - Boca Raton, FL
Designations Earned CRB, CRS, CIPS, GRI, SRES, TRC


You may have shamed her . . . . But the right thing is pick up the napkins.

Good luck and success.

Lou Ludwig

May 22, 2015 12:43 PM
Linda Blumenthal
Hampton Crossing - Licensed Real Estate Salesperson - 631-466-4087 - Westhampton Beach, NY
NYS Licenced Real Estate Salesperson, CBR

It is pretty much impossible to know what another person is thinking and the reason behind their behavior. 

May 22, 2015 08:43 PM
Gene Mundt, IL/WI Mortgage Originator - FHA/VA/Conv/Jumbo/Portfolio/Refi
NMLS #216987, IL Lic. 031.0006220, WI Licensed. APMC NMLS #175656 - New Lenox, IL
708.921.6331 - 40+ yrs experience

Dana Hollish Hill ... your eye message was that you found her behavior poor.  It obviously resonated .. and she corrected her behavior.  I'd say she "shamed" herself, if shame was involved ...


May 23, 2015 02:52 AM
Victoria Ray Henderson
HomeBuyer Brokerage - Washington, DC
Washington DC Real Estate

Hey Dana-great blog!

When someone does something deemed unacceptable or rude-what do we do? We can choose to ignore it or call it out.  You focused attention on her behavior. You didnt say it was good or bad-you just paid attention and froze the moment. That focus made her pause and re-evaluate her behavior. Good for you...and her

May 25, 2015 12:55 AM
Dale Bledsoe
Crown Key Realty - Tracy, CA
Realtor in Tracy, California

If you did shame her good for you. Every little bit of accountability that people take grows larger and creeps into other parts of their lives. You did her a favor.

May 26, 2015 03:38 AM