Get fired by your buyer's agent in 3 easy steps

Real estate agents are notoriously patient people.  We will work long and hard hours in pursuit of the perfect property for our clients. 

We will preview properties during the week in preparation for showings that can take place only on the weekends.  We will prepare paperwork on properties that you want to make an offer on. 

We will keep you posted on market changes that impact your ability to purchase your dream home and make referrals to our valued and trusted network of mortgage professionals.

Given this dedication, there are still ways to alienate your Buyer's Agent pretty quickly.

It goes something like this.

Step 1:  Schedule an appointment to see properties at 2pm on a Sunday.  Text your agent at 1:30 to say that you are going to be 15 minutes late.  Never mind that your agent has nearly reached the destination to open the door and turn on all of the lights prior to your arrival.  Text your agent again at 2:35pm to say, "I'll be there in a bit."  Arrive for the 2pm showing appointment at 2:45pm and feign an apology.

*Repeat this scenario 2 out of 3 appointments to ensure that the agent understands that you are a discourteous LOUT who is disrespectful of others time.

Step 2:  Tell your agent that you are ready to make an offer on 123 Easy Street.  After the agent spends about an hour preparing the the half dozen required documents for the offer, open the email to review the offer paperwork and then GO OFF THE GRID FOR AT LEAST 4 days.

*Repeat this scenario again on the same property about a week later, being sure to ignore all attempts to contact you by your agent to inquire about the offer paperwork.

Step 3: On the date of the latest showing appointment (your second arriving 45 minutes late) act as though you have not completed Step 2 and utter the words, "I guess I'll just have to keep looking, I can always renew my current lease."

At this point you will need to take a step or two back before your agent shoves you out the door of the latest property, rams the key back into the lockbox and gets into her their car and drives away extolling your many virtues.

Oftentimes at this point you may observe a common hand gesture and the battle cry:

"NEXT!"