Your Power and Your Posture

By
Services for Real Estate Pros with Marte Cliff Copywriting

This post seems to be a follow-up of Friday's post about courage, although that isn't what I was thinking about when I wrote it. 

I was, in fact, writing because of an email I read about copywriting... 

Your Power (Courage) and Your Posture

When a dog is threatened or wishes to be threatening, the hair stands up on his back and he bars snarling doghis teeth. When a cat is threatened, his hair is apt to stand out over his whole body while he hisses. When a bird is threatened, it fluffs it's feathers. When a horse is threatened, he might rear on his hind legs. 

Why? Because instinct tells them to make themselves appear larger and more powerful. 

It's the same reason that a cop who feels threatened or wants to assert authority stands with his or her feet wide apart and elbows sticking out.

It's the same reason why an effective speaker stands up straight, looks at the audience, and keeps his or her shoulders squared. 

Would anyone pay attention to a speaker who slumped at the podium and delivered the message to his shoes? (Oh wait, now I just realized why a couple of the continuing ed classes I took were so useless.)

YOU can use the same body language to give yourself confidence. 

You probably wouldn't want to assume an authority pose when you're talking with clients in person - you might look a bit silly adopting a "cop stance." (However, you could do so if you're talking on the phone.) 

But you can school yourself to avoid using a meek, submissive pose.

You can stand or sit up straight, with shoulders relaxed, but squared. You can keep your head up and look people in the eye. (And you should also adopt that posture while you're on the phone.)

For More Confidence and Courage, try "Power Posing."

You can use "power posing" to give yourself a confidence boost prior to an important interaction with a client, or even with a friend or family member.

  • Researchers have proven that you can make yourself happier by smiling even when you can't think of anything to smile about.
  • Others have proven that you can reduce stress and banish a "down mood" by sighing and turning your eyes skyward a few times.
  • Now we're learning that you can reduce your fear and increase your confidence by power posing - even if you do it privately and only for a few minutes.

Here's how it's done: 

First, find a private spot. If you're working from your home office or have an office door you can close - wonderful. If not, find a private spot, even if it's a stall in the rest room.

Your goal will be to make your body as big as it can be, so...

  • Adopt a wide stance, then stand as tall as possible. (Streeetch yourself upward.)
  • Reach your hands high in the air -  as if you just crossed the finish line in a big race or made the winning touchdown.
  • Or... put your hands on your hips with your elbows sticking way out.
  • Hold that pose for 30 seconds, and let yourself "feel" large.

And then... since anxiety over the coming meeting is probably what made you need a little extra confidence, do the "Sigh and look up" exercise. Just take a deep breath and let it out in a sigh, while turning your eyes to the sky. Repeat 3 or 4 times and you'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel within a few minutes.

Now put on a smile and get going!

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Re-Blogged 1 time:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Ginger Harper 07/06/2015 01:36 AM
Topic:
Real Estate Sales and Marketing
Groups:
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Law of Attraction for the REALTOR!
POSITIVE ATTITUDE for the Weary Soul
Bananatude
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Tags:
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self confidence
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Ambassador
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Debbie Laity
Cedaredge Land Company - Cedaredge, CO
Your Real Estate Resource for Delta County, CO

These are great tips. I do use the one about smiling. I smile when I'm on the phone. It's a habit now. I know it works. 

Jun 30, 2015 09:52 AM #1
Rainmaker
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Beth Atalay
Cam Realty and Property Management - Clermont, FL
Cam Realty of Clermont FL

Mary, our posture is so important in how we are received by others. I remember as a child my mom constantly reminding me to stand up straight..

Jun 30, 2015 09:52 AM #2
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Gayle Rich-Boxman Fishhawk Lake Real Estate
John L Scott Market Center - Birkenfeld, OR
"Your Local Expert!" 503-755-2905

Marte, this is just a most wonderfully POWERFUL AND POSITIVE POST! You always have great information to share. Loved it, every bit (and breath!)

Jun 30, 2015 10:07 AM #3
Rainmaker
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Myrl Jeffcoat
GreatWest Realty - Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent

Great information about body language.  Not only for humans but the animal realm as well!

Jun 30, 2015 02:22 PM #4
Rainmaker
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James Dray
Fathom Realty - Rogers, AR
Exceptional Agents, Outstanding Results

Good morning Marte.  I was a cop for 29 years I know that stance.  You let the people know you are in charge.  It's the look people understand and most of the time listen to what you have to say....  

Jun 30, 2015 08:14 PM #5
Rainmaker
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Sheila Anderson
Referral Group Incorporated - East Brunswick, NJ
The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133

Good morning Marte. This is interesting and in my view true too. We have the power and the control, now we have the skill set too. Thank you.

Jun 30, 2015 11:34 PM #6
Rainmaker
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Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Debbie Laity Smiling on the phone really does work! I had an agent once who was always grumpy, and I remember my Mom telling me not to let him answer the phone at the office - he would chase people away, even though the words were polite.

Beth Atalay My Mom did the same. She was afraid that because I was tall, I would learn to slouch, like so many other tall women who were trying to look "little and cute."

Jul 01, 2015 02:03 AM #7
Rainmaker
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Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
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Gayle Rich-Boxman Fishhawk Lake Realtor (503)755-2905 As if you needed anything more... you're one of the most positive people I know. 

Myrl Jeffcoat People might not get into trouble with animals as often if they paid attention to those warning signs. 

James Dray It's a definite "authority pose." It might not go over too well with clients!

Sheila Anderson There are all sorts of tricks we can play on ourselves to push us into being more successful. 

Jul 01, 2015 02:07 AM #8
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Kate McQueen
CB&A Realtors - Cypress, TX
Tailored service for your real estate needs!

Marte, very interesting topic.  A few years ago I went through an intensive yoga instruction training, and many of the poses are meant to do exactly what you describe in your post.  "Warrior pose," for example, instills a sense of having a solid base from which to approach life, "take your position and stand firm."  And some poses involve rolling the eyes upward, while others involve thrusting the tongue out with a rapid exhalation.  Though yoga isn't  necessarily about that kind of power, I couldn't help thinking how much sense your post makes.  I haven't practiced yoga regularly in a while.  Guess what you've done and didn't even know you were doing it?  That's right, MOTIVATED me to get back on the mat every morning!

I really love this post!  I could use some confidence and power right now, I've been feeling a little battered by the extreme competition and inventory shortage in my market.

One more thought:  Do you think the look up and sigh technique, could be why teenagers let out a huff and roll their eyes? 

Jul 01, 2015 03:38 AM #9
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Kate McQueen
CB&A Realtors - Cypress, TX
Tailored service for your real estate needs!

Sorry, I have one more thought!  I learned long ago that when you talk on the phone, the person you are talking to should "hear" a smile, but not a pollyanna sing-song voice.  Don't you just feel a little weird when you call a business and someone answers with an upbeat voice that sounds feigned?  I do, my thoughts become, "you don't have to sing to me, please just listen to what I have to say and do your best to address the purpose of my call."

Jul 01, 2015 03:43 AM #10
Rainmaker
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Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
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Kate McQueen, REALTOR® I'm always glad to help! Good for you for finding motivation. 

Is that why kids roll their eyes? I kinda doubt it. I think they're just letting us old folks know that they think we've lost it. 

I agree about smiling on the phone. Your voice just comes out warmer. I'll have to think back about hearing people doing "fake friendly" on the phone. Seems to me I've been running into more of them that sound like they wish I'd just hang up. 

Jul 02, 2015 02:27 PM #11
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Debbie Reynolds
Platinum Properties - Clarksville, TN
Your Dedicated Clarksville TN Real Estate Agent

When I was the broker I had a stance that meant business and had to bring it down when I needed to get down to a one on one level. I would move the discussion to a round table so there would not be barriers and we would be equal so my agent would open up. I was very aware of my strong body language and worked hard to use it only when I needed it.

Jul 05, 2015 12:22 AM #12
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Patricia Kennedy
RLAH Real Estate - Washington, DC
Home in the Capital

Hey, Marte!  This blog got included in today's Last Week's Favorites post.

Jul 05, 2015 02:47 AM #13
Rainmaker
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Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Debbie Reynolds Good for you for coming by your confidence naturally. 

Patricia Kennedy Thank you! I'm honored - and now I'm off to read the others. 

Jul 05, 2015 03:09 AM #14
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Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

My go to posture has always been to dress nice when I feel down.  Down being angry, sick, defeated, sad... I dress "up" "happy" "well" or "sucessful" and put a smile on my face and go for it. I would say it works 50% of the time and that by lunch things are better.  Sick is the most difficult to combat. And from time to time it gets the better of me.  But I think in my mind it's along the same lines.  My body language changes with my outfit.  I have to confidence to give "that Look" that says it WILL be this way. 

Jul 06, 2015 12:31 AM #15
Rainmaker
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Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Tammy Lankford Dressing "up" really does give a boost of confidence. I always felt better in heels - whether dress shoes or western boots. 

Jul 06, 2015 12:40 AM #16
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Brian Schulman
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage, Lancaster PA - Lancaster, PA
Lancaster County PA RealEstate Expert 717-951-5552

Looking larger is what goose bumps are for - but we're so evolved that our "hair-raising" experiences don't have much of an intimidating effect any more!

Jul 09, 2015 05:29 AM #17
Rainmaker
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Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
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Brian Schulman Is that what they're for? I thought they were there to tell me to put on another coat!

Jul 09, 2015 05:37 AM #18
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Brian Schulman
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage, Lancaster PA - Lancaster, PA
Lancaster County PA RealEstate Expert 717-951-5552

Goose bumps served two purposes, Marte Cliff , neither of them particularly effective in modern times.  When our ancestors had more body hair, if scared they would look bigger, and when cold, the expanded "fur" would trap air for extra insulation!

Jul 09, 2015 05:45 AM #19
Rainmaker
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Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Brian Schulman Yes - that makes sense. Chickens also fluff their feathers for warmth. 

Jul 09, 2015 06:11 AM #20
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