Have you ever been to a networking event and had to sit and listen to someone else tell you all about their business, what they do, how they do it, why their product or service is the best, then about their kids, money, assets, and anything else they could think of to tell you?
They do not care anything about what you want to say. In fact, they really would rather hear nothing at all about you.
Recently I attended a networking event where they strongly encourage everyone to schedule one on ones. As a reverse mortgage specialist, I like to connect with people who’s businesses compliment my own. The gentleman I was sitting next to told me that he is a private lender with private money. He took about 15 minutes to explain to me his process and how it works. Not once did he ask me what I did.
However, that was fine by me. I listened intently for 15 minutes, then I said, “Mike, we should get together for coffee. I think that we could probably refer people to each other.” He made a non-committal agreement to meet and asked me to call him.
The next day, I called him and asked if we could schedule a time to meet. He put me off again! Three times he put me off before finally telling me that he would rather not meet people from networking for coffee. Lunch at the networking event should be enough. If I wanted to talk to him more, he would be happy to show up 15 minutes early for the next meeting.
Can you guess my reply? Well, if you can’t, I kindly advised him that we were probably not good referral partners for each other, but I wished him the best and I would see him around.
I have had many times where people agreed to meet for coffee, but then sat down and only talked about themselves. This is NOT how relationships are built. They must be built on trust.
As it has been said God gave us two ears and one mouth. Meaning we should listen twice as much as talking. Its such a good rule to live by!
I was listening to a CD by Dani Johnson. She is big on relationship building. She relayed an experience she had where someone she was “talking” to spent well over an hour telling them every detail about their life. At the end, this person told her that she really liked her and felt she could trust her. Even though she didn’t know anything about Dani!
People are funny! If you want to build trust ask a LOT of questions and get people to talk!
The bottom line is that no one really cares about what you have to say. You might meet an occasional person who is interested, but for the most part people are interested in themselves.
If you want to build successful business relationships you must refrain from sharing too much about yourselves and learn to be in control of the conversation by asking the other person as many questions as possible!
Happy Networking!
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