An Honest Real Estate Agent Job Description

Wanted: Ambitious Self-Starters Looking For Demanding Yet Rewarding Career

Real Estate Agent Job Description:

Seeking ambitious and outgoing jack or jill of all trades to serve as a real estate agent. Must be prepared to jump into an unyielding, volatile career that changes daily. Must be comfortable with constant industry guideline shifts, prepared to help people make the largest financial decision of their lives and ready to deal with all types of people.

Details:

• Base pay: $0
• Commission range: $0 - $10 million, contingent on performance
• Must pay to take test before a resume will be considered

Qualifications (required):

• Strong ability to act as a therapist and mediator.
• Comfortable handling tense situations.
• Assertive master negotiator with a knack for winning bidding wars.
• Doctorate in legalese required to decode magnificently complex paperwork.
• Desire to give up all free time and to be on call for your clients, 24/7/365 (non-negotiable).
• Prepared to serve as a taxi driver on an as-needed basis.
• Ability to exercise excruciating patience at all times.

Qualifications (optional):

• Telepathy;
  Mind reading is a highly valuable skill in this role.
  
  
• Flexibility (mental and physical);
  You will be required to react quickly to constant industry changes and may be required, at times, to perform laborious tasks (ex: jumping fences and scaling balconies).
  
  
• Navigational expertise;
  Most qualified candidates will know every side street and shortcut in town.
  
  
• Speed Cleaner:
  At times, exceptional speed cleaning will be required in preparation for a last minute open house. Ability to quickly assist in thourough clean-up is strongly desired.
  
  *For best results, make sure you have mega understanding family and friends who will graciously put up with your constant interruptions and frequent absences.

Labor Requirements:

You will be required to walk through rugged terrain to find hidden condos (often in heels, if you're female). You will also have to move furniture and other heavy items on an as-needed basis, so hit the gym before you apply!

If interested, email me and let me know which 70 hours a week you'd like to work and I'll get you started right away!

Hope you enjoyed our fun read. 

Did I hit all the basic requirements? Anything I missed? Share in the comments!

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