House Bulldozer, Bulldozer House, Now That We Have Been Formally Introduced . . .

Home Inspector with Complete Home Inspections, Inc. TN Lic#050

If any of you have been in the real estate business for any length of time like I have, I'm sure that like me you have fond memories of people or properties that you would not have rather seen or met. I know that I say that a little bit sarcastically, but the other day I had an encounter with a very pleasant young man who was purchasing a rustic property in the Fairview section of Williamson County, Tennessee.

This encounter got off to a rather auspicious start when I found out that I had to drive through a running creek bed and had to drive down a rut riddled driveway to get to the property. Now understand that a 4x4 would have had a rough time, so you can imagine what type of fancy navigating I had to do since I drive a Prius hybrid. After what seemed to be an eternity I was finally face-to-face with The House.

Now, to look at it initially, Eh, just a rustic old property on a beautiful lot nestled by running creek down in the valley. However, like they say in the NFL “Upon further review . . .”

I stepped out of the car and almost immediately this little voice went off in the back my mind saying, “O-h-h-h! This is going to be a long inspection”. Goodness! The more I walked around the property and the more that I saw, my eyeballs started to ache. A walk through the house was like walking on a rolling pitching deck on a small ship at sea. I started to get seasick because I realized I did not have my sea legs yet and forgot to take my seasick pills, but then, are really wasn't expecting to be needing them. I must admit I did get quite a workout going up the steps because it was very reminiscent of my rock climbing days.

The voyage under the house was something that I really won't forget for many years. Lordy, what a mess! The 2 x 8 floor joists were definitely way over spanned, the beams were inadequately supported, the foundation piers were a total wreck, improper plumbing techniques, everything just willy-nilly really gave credence to the adage that good old boys, six packs (and we're not talking abs here), lack of construction knowledge and houses Just Don't Mix!

My customer was very concerned that he was buying a money pit and this definitely was one of those. After the inspection, I look at my customer and looked down at his shoes. I noticed that he was wearing a nice pair sneakers. I looked him right in the eyes and said you have the right shoes on for this particular property. “How's that he said?” If I were you, I would RUN not walk from this deal.

While driving away from the property, I was wondering, where is a bulldozer when you need it?

This posting and the contents written here are the intellectual property of Michael Thornton of Complete Home Inspections, Inc. providing home inspections for Brentwood, Nashville, Davidson and Williamson Counties of Middle Tennessee. The views and opinions expressed are just that - views and opinions of Michael Thornton and those who comment. This post is a contribution to the ActiveRain Real Estate Network.

Comments (10)

Gary McAdams
GMAC Schwartz Property Sales - Key West, FL
I think my wish came true.  You did move to The Florida Keys and were inspecting one of my listings.  I have a Gem just like the one you described.  My opening line in the listing is: "90 Feet of canal on Ramrod Key for just $349,000, House is a closing gift".  I get more showings on that one though because of the location and it's cheap.  We have many of them here that a builder with a bulldozer will snap up quickly.
Apr 16, 2008 11:12 PM
Kris Wales
Keller Williams Realty - Lakeside Market Center - Macomb, MI
Real Estate Blog & Homes for Sale search site, Macomb County MI
Your subject line cracked me up :-))   That wood rot was scary.
Apr 16, 2008 11:21 PM
Nannette Turner
eXp Realty LLC - Lynchburg, VA
Online Marketing Home Ownership Advocate Specialis
I have seen a few of those myself Mike.  We sell 'em here for about 10k or so.  I've even sold a few and listed a few!
Apr 16, 2008 11:26 PM
Larry Brewer - Benchmark Realty llc
Benchmark Realty LLc - Nashville, TN
I hope the lot was sorth something. THat's how they used to build then in Fairview. I call it Farview because it'[s so far away from everything.
Apr 16, 2008 11:41 PM
Steve Loynd
Alpine Lakes Real Estate Inc., - Lincoln, NH
800-926-5653, White Mountains NH
We get our share of knock downs, and when the location is worth the purchase, we will put a house in a dumpster and start over especially when the house location is grand-fathered and you wouldn't be allowed to build here as a new structure but can rebuild in the same foot-print
Apr 16, 2008 11:47 PM
Jim Albano
Prudential Damiano Realty - Little Falls, NJ
Team - Jean-Marie Vantuno / Realtors North Jersey Real Estate
Great photos. Was this something the kids built in the backyard? lol
Apr 17, 2008 12:15 AM
Sean Allen
International Financing Solutions - Fort Myers, FL
International Financing Solutions

hhhmmm, Looks like a nice cabin for spending the weekend, but not a place to live 24/7. Oh...and definitely a money pit.

Sean Allen

Apr 17, 2008 01:11 AM
Charles Buell
Charles Buell Inspections Inc. - Seattle, WA
Seattle Home Inspector
Inspection reports on homes like that can be very short:) if the house is enough of a mess!
Apr 17, 2008 01:35 AM
Harold "Hal" Place
A1 Connection Realty, Inc. - Sun City Center, FL

Hi  Michael,

Great introduction! Was it listed as Beautiful site, secluded, wooded nice babbling brook $xxxxxx,and a free cabin?

Great pictures as always!


Apr 17, 2008 09:45 AM
Susie Blackmon
Ocala, FL
Ocala, Horses, Western Wear, Horse Farms, Marketing

Lot $xxxxx; house $1.00.  That would be a great ad.

The photos made my hair hurt, as Don Imus would say.

Really enjoyed the post! 


Apr 17, 2008 09:58 PM