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5 Ways Home Buying and Dating Are Eerily Similar

Real Estate Broker/Owner with Keller Williams

Home Buying can be an extraordinarily daunting task, especially if it’s your first time. But, wait you say. Dating isn’t as complicated as home buying.


You have dated someone before, haven’t you? It’s the epitome of confusing. Your first date resembles something out of a detective novel, as you turn into Sherlock Holmes in your superhuman efforts to figure out this… person. You have a checklist of likes and dislikes, good qualities and bad qualities, and things you consider overall deal breakers. You snoop, pry, evaluate, and gossip with your friends as you try to figure out if this person could be the “one” (ok, so maybe this is more for the women than men, as I have been told our checklist is pretty simple.)

You get my point. Still, you’ve got to see the comparisons here.

So, in our effort to illuminate first time homebuyers on the homebuying process, we’ve composed a list of five quick tips that will help guide them in their quest for the perfect home (or eternal love, we’re not choosey.)

*Quick disclaimer: This is not a first time homebuyers guide, as in, a step by step chart on how to buy a home. There are sooooo many of those out there that we decided it would be more beneficial to do some quick tips on what first time homebuyers should be thinking about during their homebuying process.

1. Are you ready to commit?

And we’re not just talking about an agent, or looking at houses. We’re talking serious marriage level commitment here. Buying a home is going to be the biggest purchase in your lifetime.

You can’t dump a home a month into the relationship by telling your bank, “it’s not me, it’s you”. Home ownership is awesome, but it is still a big deal and a HUGE responsibility. Take your time and think about this one.

2. Starting your home search / Choosing an agent.

Before you date someone, you kind of know what you’re looking for. Personality, looks, job, etc. You have a predetermined list of qualities someone needs to possess before you even consider going on a date.

Same thing with buying a home.

First, you need to determine what you’re looking for in your home. New construction or resale? Urban or country? What do you picture your first home as when you’re are building it in your mind? This is the checklist that we were talking about earlier. Establish your parameters early and often, and be ruthless.

Now you need someone to help you in your search efforts. Of course we are talking about hiring a Real Estate professional. Think of us… as the host of the Bachelor. We are there to facilitate the process, but we aren’t trying to influence your decision in any way.

Sidenote, our team tends to have a better success rate than the couples on the Bachelor.

Just sayin.

3. Getting Preapproved for a loan.

We often hear first time homebuyers ask: What do I need preapproval for? And what is it anyway?

Think of this as your third date. Things are getting serious, and it’s time to make sure that you can proceed to actually buy the home you want. It tells you what you can or cannot afford, so that you don’t try to buy a $1.5 million home when you make $20,000. It also helps you frame a mental picture of the amount of money you’re comfortable with spending on your mortgage.

I mean, it’s like dating that perfect someone for a while, and you’re really, really, really happy. But, then you find out that they want kids. Ok. No big deal. That’s cool with you. One or two is no big deal right?

Then you hear the number. And it’s a lot. Duggar style big.

Now you’re heartbroken and bitter (and honestly a little bit scared, I mean, who wants that many kids anyway), vowing to never love (or buy a home) again!

A preapproval letter will help prevent any future bitterness. Trust us on this one.

4. Get to know the neighborhood.

This is something that most people tend to do after they move into their new home. Crazy, right?

Think of this as the time you finally get to meet the other person’s friends or family. They can tell you a lot about how awesome (or terrible) the person you are seeing can be.

It’s also a good time to return to Sherlock Holmes mode and see if the friends or family are crazy, because we all know that crazy only attracts more crazy.

Ain’t nobody got time for crazy. So seriously. Scope out the neighbors and get the inside scoop on your community that you could potentially wed yourself to for your foreseeable future. Oftentimes, you’ll meet some interesting people, and you’ll gain some local knowledge.

5. Plan for the future.

When you date someone, it’s inevitable that you start planning for the future (especially the ladies out there.) You think about how you’re going to spend holidays (his/her family or mine, or both!), kids, and even a home (that’s when we get excited!)

No, you don’t have kids right now. Or that awesome, super deluxe kitchen you’ve always dreamed about.

But that’s ok.

Chances are pretty good that you’re going to end up moving at least once in your lifetime, so plan accordingly. Research the area you’re thinking about buying in and ask questions about future developments within your community, as well as any major developments around you (i.e. shopping, restaurants, local entertainment, etc.)

This also takes us back to our second point. A great Real Estate agent can help you answer these questions, and many more that you won’t think of. And remember, buying a home is an investment. A Real Estate professional will be able to help you find, negotiate, and successfully purchase a home that will prove to be a solid investment down the road.

We’re kind of like that grandparent who gives you the super helpful advice, right when you need it most.


**Originally Published from Mathis Real Estate Group**

Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty
Bucci Realty, Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Eighteen Years Experience in Brevard County

I like that last sentence...the super helpful grandparent who gives that great advice!

Aug 20, 2015 01:51 AM
Benjamin Mathis
Keller Williams - Raleigh, NC
Learning to lead.

Cat Zwicker, CRS You're so right! Thanks for reading!!

Wendy Bland I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Rose O'Reilly Sievers,CRS,SRES Hopefully you'll see them in a good but different way! Thanks for reading!!

Aug 20, 2015 01:57 AM
Benjamin Mathis
Keller Williams - Raleigh, NC
Learning to lead.

Jeffrey Markell Thanks! 

Gretchen & Mel Ahrens You're not lying!

Sharon Parisi They really do matter! It makes a big difference in either scenario.

Aug 20, 2015 01:58 AM
Benjamin Mathis
Keller Williams - Raleigh, NC
Learning to lead.

Noeleen Duffy Thanks!

M.C. Dwyer Thank you for your kind words!!

Gary L. Waters, Broker Owner Waters Realty of Brevard, LLC Aren't all grandparents just vessels of wisdom? Mine were! Thanks for reading!!

Aug 20, 2015 02:00 AM
Jack Lewitz
Exit Strategy Realty - Evanston, IL

I like the comparison but think showing houses to buyers is similar to a dog.

When you get a new dog they are real excited, want to please, and will follow you everywhere and want to play and see and do everything.

As dogs do they age quickly and they get stubborn and get bored easily and the process of looking at things is no longer a joy because they have done it for so long.

Question is how do you keep that dog youthful enough to buy a home.

Aug 20, 2015 02:37 AM
Kimo Jarrett
Cyber Properties - Huntington Beach, CA
Pro Lifestyle Solutions

Interesting perspective, yet, equating dating to real estate IMO doesn't excite me or compare to my dating experiences. Dating is a fun experience to share time and move on unless you want to stop. Now, buying a property is a commitment, yet, going on a date isn't but that's just my opinion.

Aug 20, 2015 05:42 AM
Sharon Parisi
United Real Estate Dallas - Dallas, TX
Dallas Homes

Benjamin Mathis I had to stop back by and tell you that I am excited that your post has received the attention it deserves!

Aug 20, 2015 04:49 PM
Benjamin Mathis
Keller Williams - Raleigh, NC
Learning to lead.

Jack Lewitz I think that the less time you make someone follow you around, the better the experience. So a stellar buyer consultation that sets the right expectations is probably  a solid start!

Kimo Jarrett That's a great perspective! Personally, I think the process of finding a home is extremely fun - if done properly!

Sharon Parisi It has absolutely nothing to do with me - it's all of the amazing people who have taken their time to ready my pithy words! Thank you for your kind words!!!

Aug 20, 2015 10:51 PM
Virginia Youngblood
DO-STAGE! LLC - an ASPM® Home Staging Company - Charlotte, NC
DO-STAGE! LLC - Home Stager - ASPM®


Thanks for sharing and this analogy should make one realize that house hunting should be taken seriously just as dating -- if you believe "the old fashion way - courtship kind" with an end purpose in mind - commitment and marriage as end goal. Thankfully you can sell a house, eventually, and move on -- but not just "sell" a life partner.

Aug 21, 2015 09:42 AM
Karen Fiddler, Broker/Owner
Karen Parsons-Fiddler, Broker 949-510-2395 - Mission Viejo, CA
Orange County & Lake Arrowhead, CA (949)510-2395

That's funny, I wrote something along these lines a few years ago too. 

Aug 22, 2015 03:11 AM
Mery Fernandez Empire Network Realty Luxury Brokerage
Empire Network Realty INC. - Orlando, FL
The Rise of An Empire, Let's Build Yours!

Welcome to the world of Activerain, may your blogging  create a whole new chapter in your Real Estate Career.

Aug 22, 2015 03:12 AM
Olympus Executive Realty Inc.
Olympus Executive Realty INC. - Orlando, FL
Home Of The Top Producers

Welcome to AR, Congrats on your first blog, look forward to all your future blog post. Its a great place to share your Real Estate thoughts and experiences. 

Aug 22, 2015 04:09 AM
Diana Dahlberg
1 Month Realty - Pleasant Prairie, WI
Real Estate in Kenosha, WI since 1994 262-308-3563

Whew! Interesting analogies ... Nice first post and feature!

Aug 22, 2015 12:12 PM
Doris Freeman
Zach Taylor Real Estate - Gallatin, TN
Broker/Agent, 615-961-7799

Great post, but buying a home has got to be easier than dating (which I haven't done for 48 years) it's so easy to get information about agents and homes now

Aug 22, 2015 11:17 PM
Chris Mamone
Keller Mortgage - Tacoma, WA
Senior Loan Officer

They are similar! I told one of my clients this week that finding a good realtor is like dating. There are a lot of bad ones, but when you find the right one the process gets easy!

Aug 23, 2015 02:39 AM
Hank Dugie
Brockway Realty, LLC - League City, TX
Mr. League City

Love the analogy.. great blog! Excited to read more!

Aug 23, 2015 06:29 AM
John Dotson
Preferred Properties of Highlands, Inc. - Highlands, NC - Highlands, NC
The experience to get you to the other side!

I sure am glad the "divorce rate" is real estate averages every three years!

Aug 23, 2015 11:55 AM
Christine Donovan
Donovan Blatt Realty - Costa Mesa, CA
Broker/Attorney 714-319-9751 DRE01267479 - Costa M

Benjamin - It looks like you are right, dating and home buying do have similarities.

Aug 23, 2015 04:52 PM
Christine Donovan
Donovan Blatt Realty - Costa Mesa, CA
Broker/Attorney 714-319-9751 DRE01267479 - Costa M

Benjamin - And, look at you!  Featured with your very first post here in the Rain.

Aug 23, 2015 04:53 PM
jide Fakoya


Oct 12, 2015 06:53 PM