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Is something behind you controlling what's in front of you?

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Cornerstone Business Group Inc 0225086119

I grew up with a beagle named Tab.  He was a typical beagle.  That means a lot 
of things for those of us who have been beagle owners.  In my case, Tab was a barking, bellowing rabbit chasing escape artist.  If he saw a unattended door he would bolt out of it, and he would be gone for hours.  You could hear him bellowing throughout the fields behind our house, and every once in a while you would see the flick of the white tip of his tail as he tracked something.  When he returned he always smelled like something dead.   

I came home from school one day to see Tab staggering around the yard with a milk cartoon stuck on his head.  Who knows how long he had been like that, but there he was stumbling around like an intoxicated teenager after the prom.  He was always good for a belly laugh.  He was a great dog, and he was deeply loved by our family.  He actually lived to the ripe old age of 18, and we enjoyed every year.

One day, when I came home from work I realized that Tab had been put on a 
chain in the back yard.  He was notorious for getting into the kitchen trash when we were away.  Sometimes, he  spent pretty days in the yard.  We lived in a neighborhood with few fences and strict dog containment rules.  So, if he was outside it meant a chain at his dog house.  He didn’t seem to mind, and it kept him safe while we were gone.

This particular day he was standing in a hole he had dug, and he was barking.  He was about seventeen by then, and he had gotten a little feeble.  There he stood, barking.  That wasn’t unusual for Tab.  If he was outside he was often barking, but this day was different.  His bark had a real distressed sound to it. 

 As I observed the scene, I noticed that he had gotten his chain caught on a small twig behind him.  Each time he tried to move forward the pull of the twig kept him from going very far.  He kept looking at the hole, and then I realized something.  He thought he was stuck in the hole.  The reality was something 
behind him was keeping him from going forward.

Isn’t that true of us.  We’re struggling, and it seems like we’re in a hole.  It seems like the hole has made us prisoners, and it’s going to keep us prisoners forever.  Tab’s hole was only about 4-6 inches deep.  Under normal conditions he would have easily walked right out of it.  But, on that day, it looked huge.  What Tab didn’t realize was that something behind him was keeping him from moving forward.  

What is keeping you from moving forward?  It might not be the situation you’re in at all.  It might be something behind you.  Maybe it’s a relationship that needs healing.  Maybe it’s an apology that was never offered or never received.  Maybe it’s forgiveness that was never extended or maybe never requested.  Maybe it is a questionable action that needs to be corrected.  Maybe the source of your struggle isn’t what you can see at all.  Maybe it’s something behind you.

 

Comments(29)

Praful Thakkar
LAER Realty Partners - Burlington, MA
Metro Boston Homes For Sale

Mike Cooper - you are so right. It's something that we always have been doing - so don't want to change. And that's what is keeping us behind - like Tab.

Aug 17, 2015 04:08 PM
James Dray
Fathom Realty - Bentonville, AR

Good morning Mike.  My past is my past and I honestly am happy with it.  The only thing holding me back now is my thought process and what I am capable of.  Still working on that one but it is coming around.  Such a wonderful post sir thanks for sharing 

Aug 17, 2015 08:43 PM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

I never had a beagle, but could sense the energy and fun that one would provide from your post.

Sometimes things that are holding us back are definitely behind us. We need to figure out how to move forward; perhaps by untangling what we find back there.

Aug 17, 2015 09:44 PM
Sheila Anderson
Referral Group Incorporated - East Brunswick, NJ
The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133

Good morning Mike. This is a very telling story and I agree with your conclusion. I can also relate to your memories of Tab.

Aug 17, 2015 11:02 PM
Steffy Hristova
HomeSmart Elite Group Tempe AZ Tel: 602.710.8161 - Tempe, AZ
Tempe AZ Realtor - Your Home Close to Your Work!

Thanks for the encouragement, Mike Cooper,  to look deeper into the world around us, and to search for psychological insights and understanding of our own challenges. I chuckled at the disclaimer.

Aug 18, 2015 12:21 AM
Margaret Goss
@Properties - Winnetka, IL
Chicago's North Shore & Winnetka Real Estate

I believe that unresolved issues from the past are our biggest obstacles today.  It takes a lot of deep consideration to figure out what the issue is because it's not easily recognized.  

Aug 18, 2015 12:27 AM
Jill Sackler
Charles Rutenberg Realty Inc. 516-575-7500 - Long Beach, NY
LI South Shore Real Estate - Broker Associate

Brilliant.

Aug 18, 2015 02:15 AM
Susan Emo
Sotheby's International Realty Canada - Brokerage - Kingston, ON
Kingston and the 1000 Islands Area

Great analagy; we are not victims of our past but of our choices.

PS  I too had a Beagle pup names Brandy who put nose to the ground and sadly never returned.  I think a hunter made off with her.

And John Mosier your Aussie is lovely.  We just said our final goodbyes to our two:  Sheila and Kylie.  Sheila a Blue Merle and Kylie our rescue, a Powdered Red Merle.

Aug 18, 2015 02:35 AM
Ed Silva, 203-206-0754
Mapleridge Realty, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally

Such a well put together post.  We are often prisoners of our past.  Learning to reconcile and move on is so hard for many

Aug 18, 2015 02:58 AM
Gene Riemenschneider
Home Point Real Estate - Brentwood, CA
Turning Houses into Homes

Good analogy.  And a very nice dog story.  Thanks for the post.

Aug 18, 2015 03:41 AM
Rose O'Reilly Sievers,CRS,SRES
Carlsbad, CA

Mike that's a great post. 

 

When transactions get difficult we can go back and forth.  I just had a seller who thought he knew more than I did when it came to offers.  We had 3 Counters and finally got it in escrow.  He has a much better attitude now that previously.

Aug 18, 2015 04:40 AM
Lyn Sims
Schaumburg, IL
Real Estate Broker Retired

Great post Mike. I bet Tab was a blast for you growing up.

Aug 18, 2015 06:42 AM
Bill Reddington
Re/max By The Sea - Destin, FL
Destin Florida Real Estate

I hate it when I get chained to the dog house. Think the only thing holding anyone back is themselves and their fears. Keep moving forward.

Aug 18, 2015 08:05 AM
Chris and Dick Dovorany
Homes for Sale in Naples, Bonita Springs and Estero, Florida - Naples, FL
Broker/Associate at Premiere Plus Realty

Very thought provoking post.  Congratulations on the feature.

Aug 18, 2015 08:28 AM
Margaret Woda
Long & Foster Real Estate, Inc. - Crofton, MD
Maryland Real Estate & Military Relocation

What a great analogy! And 18 years... wow. Congratulations.

Aug 18, 2015 09:53 AM
Sharon Parisi
United Real Estate Dallas - Dallas, TX
Dallas Homes

Mike, this is food for deep thought and the opportunity to move ahead at lightening speed!

Aug 18, 2015 12:35 PM
Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573
MOOERS REALTY - Houlton, ME
Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker

Like relationships, timing is everything. So is being a whole person, happy, grateful. Because if you are not, whatever is lurking inside deep, known or not, will follow you in and out. And affect all those relationships. The way you filter stuff. Until you do figure out what is happening inside and develop peace. Rural living is a good prep for having your head screwed on straight and like Johnny Nash and Jimmy Cliff sand "I can see clearly now".

Aug 18, 2015 11:09 PM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro

Thank you for all of the wonderful comments. I've been a little preoccupied in my conflict with Comcast the past few days (Internet down at my office for 8 days) to get back for responses, but please know that I have read them all. 

Aug 18, 2015 11:25 PM
Jan Green - Scottsdale, AZ
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

Great analogy Mike.  Sometimes we just don't know why we do what we do.  I can attest that lately it's my anti-inflammatory medication that keeps me stuck in that 4" hole! 

Aug 19, 2015 06:10 AM
Chris Ann Cleland
Long and Foster Real Estate - Gainesville, VA
Associate Broker, Bristow, VA

Glad to see this one got featured.  Letting go of things that may hold us back from moving forward is an important message.

Aug 20, 2015 10:48 AM