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The Return of Mr. Realtor Knowledgey

By
Real Estate Agent with Jameson Sotheby's International Realty

Dear Mr. Realtor Knowledgey
All of my friends tell me that I'll save a lot of money if I list my home "by owner" rather than using a Realtor.

They tell me that Realtors are greedy, scum-sucking-leeches whose only purpose is to bleed money from the transaction, and line their pockets.

Dear FSBO

C'mon, now, you don't really expect Mr. Realtor Knowledgey to believe that you actually have friends, now, do you?

______________________________________

Dear Mr. Realtor Knowledgey
I visit those real estate sites all the time.  I click on listing after listing, and I haven't had one Realtor contact me.  What do I have to do to get a response?

Dear Death Threat
Well, you might try changing your profile, name... and then getting rid the skull and crossbones as your icon.  But in addition, you might consider leaving your email address, and/or phone number.  I'll bet that would help.

______________________________________

Dear Mr. Realtor Knowledgey
My wife and I put a verbal offer in on a house. The seller verbally accepted it, so we started designing plans to build a wall between us and the neighbor to the south.  The next thing we knew they had accepted a different offer.  We're really pissed off... is this Hilary Clinton's fault?

Dear Mr. Trump.
It sure is, Donald.  It sure is.

______________________________________

Dear Mr. Realtor Knowledgey
What type of sir-name is Knowledgey?  I've never heard of it, where does it originate?

Dear Ms. Anthrope
It's an old family name.  It originates in eastern Europe, and started with my great-great-great-grandfather Laccof Knowledge, who was a sharecropper in Poland.  When his grandson migrated to the United States a spelling error at Ellis Island added the "y".

______________________________________

Dear Mr. Realtor Knowledgey
How much does a mother-in-law suite add to the value of a home?

Dear "mom"
According to Mr. Realtor Knowledgey's "Book of Home Values across the greater United States of America" (hey, I was being paid by the word), a mother-in-law suite adds about 5% to the value of the home.... 10% if you locate it in the basement of the house next door.

Posted by

 ALAN MAY, Realtor®   
Specializing in Evanston Real Estate and North Shore Real Estate

Jameson Sotheby's International Realty, 2934 Central Street, Evanston, IL 60201
Office: 847.869.7300      Cell: 847.924.3313      Email: Almay@aol.com

Evanston Real Estate & North Shore Real Estate
Licensed in Illinois

   

Comments(12)

Gayle Rich-Boxman Fishhawk Lake Real Estate
John L Scott Market Center - Birkenfeld, OR
"Your Local Expert!" 503-739-3843

OH, you are in full swing Mr. K! Love this! We must be in sync, I just had my own FSBO piece of "knowledge" to impart. 

Aug 17, 2015 10:15 AM
William Feela
WHISPERING PINES REALTY - North Branch, MN
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

LOL...I would pay 25% more for the Mother-in-law apartment was in the next state.

Aug 17, 2015 10:48 AM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

You got a chuckle out of me.  Today was no easy task. It was a really crappy day.

Aug 17, 2015 12:06 PM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

Gayle - ain't FSBO's grand?

William - have I got a deal for you!

Tammy - then my job, here, is done.

Aug 17, 2015 12:06 PM
Ed Silva, 203-206-0754
Mapleridge Realty, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally

This is funny,  How did you manage to get Mr. Knowledgey to give so many responses

Aug 17, 2015 01:09 PM
Mike Rock
Complete Design - Granite Bay, CA
Granite Bay Luxury New Construction...For Less

Its not FSBO mr lack of knowledge.....= Final Sale Better Offer . it is DMOS  Do My Own Surgery

Aug 17, 2015 02:08 PM
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Alan, a lot of humor is your rants but Donald would have made his offer in writing! Enjoy your day!

Aug 17, 2015 09:39 PM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

Ed - it was like pulling teeth.

Mike - Fer Shure Best Offer?

Wayne - Donald just likes to talk about his wall.

Aug 17, 2015 10:39 PM
Jenna Dixon
Momentum Real Estate Group LLC - Marietta, GA
55 & Over | New Constructions | Horse Farms

I am happy now.  Mr. K is on point with this FSBO Q&A.  The only thing missing is a little background music for drama 

Aug 18, 2015 12:09 AM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

Jenna - will this do?

Aug 18, 2015 02:04 AM
Chris Ann Cleland
Long and Foster Real Estate - Gainesville, VA
Associate Broker, Bristow, VA

Love the last answer.  Love stopping by your blog and getting my chuckles for the day.

Aug 24, 2015 10:28 AM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

Chris Ann - well, then my job here, is done.

Aug 24, 2015 11:07 AM