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Living with a Baby Who is Going to Die at Birth, Update 2 (FAITH)

By
Managing Real Estate Broker with Harb DeSa Realty PA# AB066822 | TN# 344201

Faith is the ultimate resource, and it can transform any experience of our lives.  Faith is confidence or trust in something that is not based on proof.

Interestingly, we are taught conflicting precepts about faith.  Life is full of these apparent contradictions.  We’re told “Look before you leap,” and we’re also told, “He who hesitates is lost.”  We’re told “You gotta have faith,” and we’re also told “Trust, but verify.”  We’re told to “Use your head,” and we’re also told to “Follow your heart.”  We’re told to “Put yourself first,” and we’re told to “Put your family first.”

We are told…

And yet we are also told…

Look before you leap.

He who hesitates is lost.

You gotta have faith.

Trust, but verify.

Use your head.

Follow your heart.

Put yourself first.

Put your family first.

Put God first.

Put yourself first.

Practice makes perfect.

No one is perfect.

You’re never too old to learn.

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

It’s better to be safe than sorry.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Winners never quit.

Quit while you’re ahead.

What will be, will be.

Life is what you make it.

 

In my blog Living with a Baby Who is Going to Die at Birth and in my first update, I examined a host of challenges and contradictions that tested my faith and my wife Amira’s faith.  We have come to realize that things like this can happen and perhaps will happen to us in the future.  Faith is not just that we get through the challenge we’re facing; faith is that there’s a deeper meaning in it.  We have learned that it’s one thing to have faith; it’s another thing to communicate faith.

Faith is the opposite of fear.  Anthony Robbins said, “Faith is imagination unleashed about the best possibility, and fear is imagination unleashed about the worst possibility.”  Can faith and fear coexist?  Does living in one push the other away? 

A lack of faith causes people to believe that when they’re in pain, they’re being punished.  A lack of faith can cause people to be frozen with fear when faced with conflict.  Contradictions are everywhere in our society and in our colloquialisms. 

We are told…

And yet we are also told…

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Out of sight, out of mind.

The best things in life are free.

There are no free lunches.

Many hands make light work.

Don’t have too many cooks in the kitchen.

Two’s company, three’s a crowd.

The more, the merrier.

Talk is cheap.

A word to the wise is sufficient.

Expect miracles.

Be realistic.

Fortune favors the bold.

Fools rush in.

Follow your gut.

Don’t be quick to judge.

Give them an inch and they’ll take a yard.

It is better to give than to receive.

Take chances.

Stay safe.

 

As a naval officer, I was trained to always have certainty.  Naval officers always know what to do.  Even when we don’t know what to do – we know what to do.  Naval officers never say, “I don’t know what to do.”  We always know, especially when the path is unclear and uncharted.  For us, certainty is not something that we rely upon others to give to us; certainty is something we bring with us.  We walk into the room with it.  If we don’t know the way, we will make the way.  We will find the way.  On the night of September 11th, 2001, President George W. Bush quoted this verse in his address to the nation:  “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will have no fear, for you are with me.”  [Psalms 23:4  NIV]  That verse guided and inspired me through The Global War on Terror and The Iraq War, and in the birth and coming death of our son Creed.

In times of sorrow, challenge, or pain, an empowering question to ask is:  “What is the deeper meaning in all of this?”  It is that life is short and precious.  It is that we are lucky to live in the U.S.  It is that there are so many loving and caring people around us.  It is that God is present.  We are learning more about faith from our baby boy who has not yet been born.  Perhaps that is Creed’s legacy.

When the disciples were unable to heal a man possessed by a demon, they came to Jesus Christ and asked, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?”  He replied, “Because you have so little faith.  Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move.  Nothing will be impossible for you.”  [Matthew 17:19-20 NIV]  Faith grows in stages.  Even a little faith backed by obedience will grow like a mustard seed grows into a strong tree.

We are told…

And yet we are also told…

Seek and ye shall find.

Curiosity killed the cat.

The higher you climb, the harder you fall.

The sky’s the limit.

Slow and steady wins the race.

Time waits for no man.

The bigger, the better.

The best things come in small packages.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Better safe than sorry.

Opposites attract.

Birds of a feather flock together.

Silence is golden.

The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

Actions speak louder than words.

The pen is mightier than the sword.

 

Faith is the basis of my life, not fear.  I welcome the apparent contradictions of our lives.  Our faith is growing, and we thank Christ and our son Creed for that.

 

Creed

A dear friend of our family, Jessica Geren, created a website to help raise funds for us to defer the costs of carrying Creed to term. Please click here:  http://www.gofundme.com/babycreeddesal


 

About the Author:  Tai A. DeSa is the Team Leader of the Keller Williams Real Estate office in Allentown, Pennsylvania.  DeSa is a graduate of The Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania.  Prior to entering the real estate business, he served as an officer in the U.S. Navy.  The purpose of Tai's life is to be a leader and writer, and to do insanely good things for himself and others.

Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Meat & potatoes here...a hearty meal for those that want it thank you Tai DeSa 

Nov 14, 2015 11:02 PM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Good morning, Tai -- as your well-written and thoughtful post shows --- there are definitely two ways to look at most situations.   

I would challenge anyone who thinks the same about you and Amira -- you're definitely in a class by yourselves.  No two ways about it.   

Nov 14, 2015 11:13 PM
Anonymous
Pauline ribau

Tai, I'm so grateful that you share your life with us. You are truly inspirational.

Nov 15, 2015 12:45 AM
#3
Anonymous
Deb Christensen

Tai you write so well, and your faith in our LivingGod is an encouragement to means I am sure others! Keep it up

Nov 15, 2015 05:10 AM
#4
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

Tai- you continue to be the one to inspire and motivate us even though I feel we should be the ones lending you whatever support we can.  Life if full of contradictions and it is our choice as to how we look at them. 

Nov 15, 2015 05:50 AM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

 

                               Thank you Tai DeSa for my Ah-ha moment. 

Nov 21, 2015 10:33 AM
Lise Howe
Keller Williams Capital Properties - Washington, DC
Assoc. Broker in DC, MD, VA and attorney in DC

Thank you for sharing your journey with us. You are educating all of us as you go through this painful time on the strength of faith - you are truly an inspiration to anyone who reads your post. 

Nov 21, 2015 08:16 PM
Kristin Johnston - REALTOR®
RE/MAX Platinum - Waukesha, WI
Giving Back With Each Home Sold!

Great post...I can see why Kathy highlighted it this week.  Glad I didnt miss it!

Nov 21, 2015 10:43 PM
Sybil Campbell
Fernandina Beach, FL
Referral Agent Amelia Island Florida

Hi Tai DeSa, I have had our Sunday School class praying for you and we will continue to lift you and your wife and son up in prayer.  God bless you! 

Nov 22, 2015 04:43 AM
Bill Roberts
Brooks and Dunphy Real Estate - Oceanside, CA
"Baby Boomer" Retirement Planner

Tai DeSa It may be counter-intuitive, but for the most part both sides are right. There are no absolutes in life (that we are permitted to know), but FAITH can see us through.

I hope your faith will keep you going.

Bill Roberts

Nov 23, 2015 12:17 AM
Fred Griffin Florida Real Estate
Fred Griffin Real Estate - Tallahassee, FL
Licensed Florida Real Estate Broker

Tai, this is an absolutely outstanding post, it's a keeper.  Thank you so much for your encouragement, and for your faith.

Nov 24, 2015 11:31 AM
MichelleCherie Carr Crowe .Just Call. 408-252-8900
Get Results Team...Just Call (408) 252-8900! . DRE #00901962 . Licensed to Sell since 1985 . Altas Realty - San Jose, CA
Family Helping Families Buy & Sell Homes 40+ Years

May God bless and heal all of you and who prayed for baby Creed.

Oct 04, 2016 02:16 PM
Tai DeSa
Harb DeSa Realty - Knoxville, TN
Husband and wife team. #diapersandrealestate

Update:  Five years ago today, on December 19, 2015, Creed Daniel DeSa passed away hours before birth.  Today I am saddened and privileged to announce the release of my book Living with a Baby Who Is Going to Die at Birth.  It is designed to help people find joy even in the painful seasons of their lives.  It shows that even an unborn child can live with purpose and encourage others to become closer to Jesus.  Thank you all for the comments and support you gave my wife Amira and me in our tough season five years ago.

Dec 19, 2020 05:35 AM