Home > Blogs > Jay Markanich > A Northern Virginia Home Inspector's Perspective

Tape Yer Tube!

By Jay Markanich

Home Inspector with Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC 3380-000723

December 06, 2015 06:46 PM

Hi Folks! Billy Jays here, just in time for that special Christmas or any holiday celebration gift!

Don't know what to get that wonderful someone this year?

Your search for that perfect gift has ended here!

And are you in for a surprise!

Let me show you what Billy Jays has for you today!

Allow me to introduce Tape Yer Tube!

I haven't been as excited about a new product in a long time!

Tape Yer Tube! will change your life!

Seeing is believing! Look at how wonderful this great product is for stopping that pesky under-the-sink leak!

And under ANY sink! Imagine! Don't be shy!

I know, it looks just like electric tape, but no!

It's the new Billy Jays poly-elasto-sticko-wrappo tape!

Just unroll your new roll of Tape Yer Tube! and go at it! Look at how smooth it goes on!

That's right, Tape Yer Tube! will change your plumbing and your life!

And look! LOOK! Just thank Billy Jays for your choice of colors! Can you believe it!?

So, what are you waiting for? Stop that leak! Call now!

No matter where you choose to stick my Tape Yer Tube! it will look great! Imagine grandma visiting and going under the bathroom sink for something and seeing her favorite color of Tape Yer Tube! keeping that sink cabinet dry! Just the thought brings a tear to my eye! I just know her appreciation will overwhelm her with uncontained, guttural laughing, um, I mean, pure emotion!

Our trained phone service agents have taped their eyes open they are so busy! So get on the phone and give us a call now! You want that gift on the table or under the tree soon!

Can you do anything around the house without working up a dramatic thirst? Say, "NO BILLY!

With every order of Tape Yer Tube! I will send a free case of Billy Jays special Hydrogen Dioxide!

You can open that fridge door and down a bottle of the best thirst quencher ever invented! I'd CALL NOW!!

And your friends will love the photo of me, Billy Jays, on every bottle!

So pick up that phone and order every special color you want of Tape Yer Tube! and have it there in time for your holiday celebration!

This is Billy Jays wishing you the most exciting gift idea ever! Tape Yer Tube! and a case of Hydrogen Dioxide! Life cannot get better!

CALL NOW!! This is Billy Jays signing off!

Fade to black. Quick.

Re-Blog

Comments(22)

Comment

Show All Comments

Sort:

Wayne Martin

Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL

Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good morning Jay. My version is duct tape and a cold beer for a job well done! Enjoy your day!

Dec 06, 2015 07:32 PM

Jay Markanich

Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA

Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

What Wayne? No Hydrogen Dioxide? Billy mixes that himself!

Dec 06, 2015 07:43 PM

Sandy Padula & Norm Padula, JD, GRI

HomeSmart Realty West & Florida Realty Investments - , CA

Presence, Persistence & Perseverance

Jay Markanich I used to get a 'kick' out of Billy's commercials. Hard to believe he is gone. Taping of plumbing...just lazy and dumb.

Dec 06, 2015 09:13 PM

Raymond E. Camp

Ontario, NY

Good morning Jay,

I had to take a look to see what the fuss was about!

I also will have to back through your online catalog and see what else I am missing!

Make yourself a great day.

Dec 06, 2015 09:21 PM

Jay Markanich

Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA

Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Apparently he had a powder problem, S&N, but hopefully Billy Jays is taking up the slack.

Dec 06, 2015 09:21 PM

Jay Markanich

Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA

Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Billy has some wild stuff, Raymond! One productpeople have purchased that I see all the time is this one:

http://activerain.com/blogsview/1725644/get-yer-gutter-garden-

This has happened to me a couple of times, and I'm sorry to say I have not yet bought the product. I should wise up and call now.

http://activerain.com/blogsview/2037447/choose-yer-chews-

Enjoy.

Dec 06, 2015 09:24 PM

Becca Rasmussen

Highlands Ranch, CO

Sheila Anderson

Referral Group Incorporated - East Brunswick, NJ

The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133

Good morning Jay. I really can't decide if this is a spoof or what. It would be nice if this tape actually worked as described, but I don't think so.

Dec 06, 2015 11:26 PM

Jay Markanich

Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA

Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

It doesn't Sheila, at least not for long. Billy Jays has about 50 spoof products advertised on AR. A couple of links are above you there.

Dec 06, 2015 11:47 PM

Fred Hernden, CMI

Superior Home Inspections - Greater Albuquerque Area - Albuquerque, NM

Albuquerque area Master Inspector

I have never taped my tube but... there's a first time for everything!

When you say Poly tape.... you don't mean Polybutylene tape do you?

Dec 07, 2015 12:08 AM

Jay Markanich

Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA

Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Only the best, Fred! And I highly recommend Redskin colors when you make your call to one of Billy's trained phone service agents.

Dec 07, 2015 12:21 AM

Dick Greenberg

New Paradigm Partners LLC - Fort Collins, CO

Northern Colorado Residential Real Estate

Hi Billy Jay - Wow! It looks like Christmas shopping will be easy this year - that looks like a great product idea, and it can also be used to wrap itself!

Dec 07, 2015 07:41 AM

Jay Markanich

Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA

Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Billy Jays thinks of everything, Dick! And I suggest you call now.

Dec 07, 2015 08:43 AM

Roy Kelley

Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Thanks, Jay, for sharing this Christmastime story.

Have an outstanding month.

Dec 07, 2015 09:51 PM

Jay Markanich

Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA

Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Anytime Roy. That's why we are here.

Dec 07, 2015 09:56 PM

Fred Cope

Reliant Realty in Nashville, TN - Nashville, TN

Looking For Homes With A Smile

Say Billy Jay, You really know the way! I've got an aluminum boat that was used for cannon practice, and I think I will use it to replace the upstairs bath tub. My only trouble is deciding on a color. What do you think? I figure it can double as a downstairs shower. Will your tape make a good shower surround? I can make a shower curtain in a different color. Should I consult Kathy Streib for color selection? Do you accept Expired Credit Cards?

Dec 09, 2015 09:58 PM

Jay Markanich

Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA

Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Fred - you can NEVER go wrong with Redskin colors - burgundy and gold. Kathy will probably agree. You'll have to call the phone bank to see about that credit card...

Dec 10, 2015 01:32 AM

DEANNA C. SMITH CERTIFIED MOBILE NOTARY

Certified Mobile Notary Signing Agent - Smith Mountain Lake, VA

Highest Ranked Certified Mobile Notary in Virginia

Hey Jay Markanich , I'm still waiting for my free case of Billy Jays special Hydrogen Dioxide!

Dec 10, 2015 02:19 PM

Jay Markanich

Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA

Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia