Misspoken Words

Real Estate Broker/Owner with KD Realty - 408.972.1822 CA BRE#01366594

I was at a sign off this afternoon.  I represent the buyers. The bulk of my business is comprised of listings. When I take a listing, I choose the title company and with that comes my choice of escrow officer. "My escrow officer" someone I know well and trust.


My point being, I did not know the escrow officer at the sign off today from Adam, or Eve for that matter.  Today was my first experience with the escrow officer. 


I "misspoke" a word today and before I could correct myself the escrow officer said, with a tude, felt superior and all-knowing like to me but, I don't really know. It is hard to read someone when we have only just met them. 


With a little flip of her head, and slight roll of the eyes, she moved some papers around and said ... "it's always right of survivorship with joint tenancy."


I took a deep breath, smiled at my clients, and literally jotted down a note for myself.  The note simply said - send thank you.



When I returned to my office I sent the escrow officer an email thanking her for correcting my faux paus at the sign off.  I also explained that sometimes I cannot think of a word and sometimes the cylinders just misfire.


There was a part of me that wanted to let her know that I know the difference. I wanted to somehow justify my existence and explain that I deserved to breathe the same air as her. That I mattered. That I am worthy. That I am not "stupid". 


Then I remembered that while I do care about other people, I do not care about what they think of me. It is really none of my business. What goes on in their mind/brain is between them ... and them.


It was a good day today. Two sign offs. Two very happy clients. All is well even in a world of misspoken words. No body was harmed. No body was hurt. No body died.


Words simply danced off my tongue and they were not the words my brain intended to deliver.  A misfire. Misspoken words.


My musing for the day.



Re-Blogged 1 time:

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  1. Jeff Dowler, CRS 01/30/2016 02:39 AM
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Sybil Campbell
Long and Foster REALTORS® 5234 Monticello Ave Williamsburg, Virginia - Williamsburg, VA
REALTOR® ABR, SFR, SRES Williamsburg, Virginia

Kathleen, I really hate it when "professsional" people act in an unprofessional way.

Jan 14, 2016 11:34 AM #7
Wayne Johnson
Coldwell Banker D'Ann Harper REALTORS® - San Antonio, TX
San Antonio REALTOR, San Antonio Homes For Sale

Head flip and eye roll, that's one of the great combinations to get someone po'ed. But you handled it like a lady.

Jan 14, 2016 12:01 PM #8
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

When I had surgery 4 years ago I woke up without all my wiring in place.  Weeks later Donald and I went to one of our favorite places and I sat staring at the menu looking for the "thing" I always ordered there.  I had no idea what it was, I had to ask him.  It was just gone from my brain.  GONE.  it was one of the most frightening moments I've ever had and it made me such a more compassionate person when I see people struggle to find the word they know they mean. I try to be ever so gentle when I say "do you mean ____?"  (filling in the blank)  

Jan 14, 2016 12:28 PM #9
Bob Crane
Woodland Management Service / Woodland Real Estate, Keller Williams Fox Cities - Stevens Point, WI
Forestland Experts! 715-204-9671

Nice job Kathleen two signoffs, two happy clients and you avoided getting angry at this person, or at least nobody was harmed.

Jan 14, 2016 03:56 PM #10
TeamCHI - Complete Home Inspections, Inc.
Complete Home Inspections, Inc. - Brentwood, TN
Home Inspectons - Nashville, TN area - 615.661.029

 Good morning Kathleen. Nice job with the two sign offs and two happy clients. Sometimes, we just have to bite our tongues, don't worry

Jan 14, 2016 05:56 PM #11
Joe Petrowsky
Mortgage Consultant, Right Trac Financial Group, Inc. NMLS # 2709 - Manchester, CT
Your Mortgage Consultant for Life

Good morning Kathleen. You handled the situation very well, hopefully this person learned something as well.

Congratulations on the two completed sales.

Jan 14, 2016 06:08 PM #12
Bruce Walter
Keller Williams Realty Lafayette/West Lafayette, Indiana - West Lafayette, IN

Kathleen, how frustrating for you as you said that you knew,  but something came out of your mouth differently!  You are the one who showed class and dignity with how you responded to being admonished by the escrow officer!

My favorite verse in Proverbs (Chapter 15; Verse 1) applies here for sure:

   "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."


Jan 14, 2016 09:59 PM #13
Scott Godzyk
Godzyk Real Estate Services - Manchester, NH
One of the Manchester NH's area Leading Agents

I really dislike when people like that feel the need to act that way, it could have been handled better by them. Glad you are still smiling. Have a good Friday Kathleen Daniels 

Jan 14, 2016 10:48 PM #14
Gene Mundt, IL/WI Mortgage Originator - FHA/VA/Conv/Jumbo/Portfolio/Refi
NMLS #216987, IL Lic. 031.0006220, WI Licensed. APMC NMLS #175656 - New Lenox, IL
708.921.6331 - 40+ yrs experience

My wife has suffered from terrible migraines for decades.  Her aura prior to pain includes memory loss and speech difficulties.  I can see a "look" in her eyes when it's happening as she looks almost frantic ... and somewhat embarrassed.  

People will have these little episodes of "brain fart" for many reasons that we may be unaware of.  The stories from others above prove that.  

Anyone that jumps on someone's disadvantage, no matter how temporary or for whatever reason, only to make themself feel superior ... is a loser, Kathleen Daniels.  Forget them ...


Jan 15, 2016 02:18 AM #15
Chris Ann Cleland
Long and Foster REALTORS®, Gainesville, VA - Bristow, VA
Associate Broker, Bristow, VA

I can so relate to this.  Keep focused on the client and moving forward.  The thank you, though, is a classy way to say, "I knew that..but you didn't have to be an *** correcting me."

Jan 15, 2016 08:18 AM #16
Nancy Frimann
Eagle Ridge Realty/Signature Homes & Estates - Gilroy, CA
California Real Estate Broker

Hi Kathleen, I think you meant to say right OF survivorship!!  Don't let it get to you if it is chemo brain.  I can't remember where I just recently heard that term...  Could've been my husband or mother in law.  Interesting term.  Every part of your body gets re-wired I guess.  I'm sure you knew the term though, as you probably couldn't have gotten your broker's license without understanding that concept.  Congrats on your closing.  Sounds like your on fire.  I've slowed down a bit but was on fire about 20 months ago!

Jan 15, 2016 01:22 PM #17
Kathleen Daniels
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
San Jose Homes for Sale-Probate & Trust Specialist

Hi Nancy Frimann - Yes, I did mean right OF survivorship and I have corrected the "spell check" error.  Chemo brain is real.  Yes, more than the brain gets re-wired.  I love your sense of humor Nancy.  I hope that smart ass husband of yours appreciates your humor. 

Jan 16, 2016 01:35 AM #18
Hannah Williams
Re/Max Eastern inc. - Philadelphia, PA
Expertise NE Philadelphia & Bucks 215-953-8818

Kathleen Daniels  don't you just love when they roll the eyes and try to make you look stupid .. glad you bit your tongue ..thank you card .yes

Jan 19, 2016 12:25 AM #19
John Pusa
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Crest - Glendale, CA
Your All Time Realtor With Exceptional Service

Kathleen Daniels Truly an excellent post. Many times, I misspoke a words that stay there forever.

Jan 30, 2016 02:56 AM #20
Lyn Sims
RE/MAX Suburban - Schaumburg, IL
Schaumburg IL Real Estate

You handled it very well. Sometimes, there's nothing wrong with a knock down drag out fight.

Jan 30, 2016 03:37 AM #21
Karen Fiddler, Broker/Owner
Karen Parsons-Fiddler, Broker 949-510-2395 - Mission Viejo, CA
Orange County & Lake Arrowhead, CA (949)510-2395

You're one classy broad! Better to be nice and not buy into the childishness of others. 

Jan 30, 2016 04:32 AM #22
Andrea Bedard
Thompson Company, REALTORS® - Silver Spring, MD
M.A.; REALTOR® Silver Spring, MD and beyond

I am so very glad Jeff reblogged this post, Kathleen. I would have missed it otherwise and that would have been a shame. You are such an inspiration to us all!

Jan 30, 2016 12:41 PM #23
Melinda (Mel) Peterson
Real Estate Cafe LLC - Bend, OR
Curator of Happy Endings

The head spinner here was the escrow officer's retort... so uncalled for.  The real 'Wow' of the day was...

"I took a deep breath, smiled at my clients, and literally jotted down a note for myself.  The note simply said - send thank you."

I can't tell you how much this post made me smile inside and out.  So many times our instinct is to rise up and defend when we're challenged.  You rose up and chose to be kind, even when the situation may have warranted otherwise.  That's a wow in my book Kathleen!

Jan 31, 2016 07:24 AM #24
The Villages Realty
The Villages Realty - San Jose, CA
"Our Performance Will Move You!"

Just going through some of your older stuff, gathering knowledge.  I like the market reports.

Feb 12, 2017 08:57 AM #25
Eagle Ridge Realty
Eagle Ridge Realty - Gilroy, CA
"Our Performance Will Move You!"

Just going through some of your older stuff, gathering knowledge.  I like the market reports.

Feb 13, 2017 09:17 AM #26
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Kathleen Daniels

San Jose Homes for Sale-Probate & Trust Specialist
An Independent San Jose Real Estate Brokerage
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