"Will You Find A Lady Who Will Sleep With Me?"

Real Estate Agent with Alain Pinel Realtors CA BRE 01914367

Shock and awe can hit anywhere! How do you respond?


One day my phone rang and the gentlemen on the other end said he had received one of my postcards and wanted to meet.  He indicated he was the owner of a large property and was curious about the value, so we set the appointment.

The man said his aging body was now quite frail and nearly broken from years of working very hard.  He also told me he'd most likely be out tending the small herd of livestock, so I was to get his attention when I arrived.


After doing preliminary research on his real estate holdings, I did some brainstorming to think what else this senior member of humanity may want.  During that process it crossed my mind more than once that he was perhaps lonely and just wanted to visit.


Upon arrival to our appointment, the man was indeed watching over the heard, pulling weeds and heavily relying on his cane.  His body, stooped over from a hard life, seemed so very small.  My internal threat assessment revealed no cause for concern.


He smiled at my greeting and ushered me into the house, where we sat at the dining room table and set straight to visiting.  Not unlike many of my clients, he shared details about his life.  This included a heartbreaking story about how his wife had left him and how his children didn't pay him enough attention. 


It was clear that this appointment was not about selling his home, but rather something more intimate.  He showed me cards and marketing materials he had received from other agents, but said he hadn't called them because they seemed too fake.  My card, he said, was heartfelt and sincere.


As we visited, I learned that he wanted to create a trust so that his children would be taken care of once he had passed from this life.  Although I'm not an attorney, my focus area is on boomers and seniors.  This allows my focus to be more aware of others who are appropriate for a particular client.


Appointing one of his children to be his spokesperson, the one who would be in touch to get more details on resources available to this man.


On my way out, the man stopped me and said that he was very lonely since his wife had left.  He said the nights were cold and he wanted desperately to find a woman who would sleep with him so they would both stay warm. 


Then he asked, "Will You Find A Lady Who Will Sleep With Me?"  Even after all this time, I felt the heartbreak - the utter loneliness this man was feeling.


Loneliness is dangerous at any age, but particularly as we reach our golden years.  Study after study reveals that humans need companionship.  We NEED interaction with others.


It's wonderful that we have facilities that seniors can go to and join activities, go on trips and reinvigorate their lives.  I'm not talking about nursing homes or independent living centers, although these also are wise choices for many.


If you or someone you care about is lonely, PLEASE seek out these options!  Senior centers are springing up everywhere.  Investigate the library to see what events they may have.  Look into taking a class at a nearby college.  Don't rule out volunteering or reaching out to your church.


Don't let loneliness torment your days.  YOU are still a valuable member of this society!


As always, let's foresee the possibilities . . . and get results!

Posted by


WERC educational merlin falconIn case you're wondering what I do outside real estate, among other things, I'm a volunteer at the Wildlife Education and Rehabilitation Center (www.werc-ca.org).  There's something special about helping others whether people or wildlife that just makes me sleep better at night.


You'll find additional resources at my website aimed at helping you and loved ones find ideas and resources we can all use while going through life's journey.


Thank you for stopping by my blog and feel free to contact me if I can help you.

Comments (10)

David Alan Baker | Laveen & South Phoenix Realtor
Keller Williams Realty Phoenix - Laveen, AZ
Your local Expert

You can be the richest, youngest person, and it still sucks to be alone.

Jan 28, 2016 05:30 AM
Rebecca Foresee
Alain Pinel Realtors - Morgan Hill, CA
Let's foresee the possibilities . and get results!

Very true David.  You can also be in a room full of people and still feel lonely.  We need to deal with those feelings in order to continue the life we're meant to live. 

Jan 28, 2016 05:36 AM
Troy Erickson AZ Realtor (602) 295-6807
HomeSmart - Chandler, AZ
Your Chandler, Ahwatukee, and East Valley Realtor

Rebecca - Loneliness tends to occur often with the elderly, especially if they lose their significant other, and can no longer fend for themselves. It seems as though they can be forgotten by other family members at times.

Jan 28, 2016 06:24 AM
Rebecca Foresee
Alain Pinel Realtors - Morgan Hill, CA
Let's foresee the possibilities . and get results!

You are so right Troy!  Although his body is now ragged, it was encouraging to see him out taking care of things and not resigned to sitting . . .

Jan 28, 2016 06:36 AM
Larry Johnston
Broker, Friends & Neighbors Real Estate and Elkhart County Subdivisions, LLC - Elkhart, IN
Broker,Friends & Neighbors Real Estate, Elkhart,IN

My mother passed away in 2007 and  can understand what your blog is all about.  My mon and dad were married 66 years.  He was miserable until his death in 2011.

Jan 28, 2016 12:01 PM
Rebecca Foresee
Alain Pinel Realtors - Morgan Hill, CA
Let's foresee the possibilities . and get results!

I'm sorry Larry.  Sadly, I believe the situation is more common than we really know.  Thank you for sharing.

Jan 28, 2016 01:51 PM
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy


What a heart breaking story.  Loneliness exists at all ages.  Even Saturdays when I go to the Farmers Market, I noticed it among the vendors.  We often take a few minutes to chat and listen to some of their latest tales.  A

Jan 28, 2016 11:04 PM
Rebecca Foresee
Alain Pinel Realtors - Morgan Hill, CA
Let's foresee the possibilities . and get results!

So glad to hear you take the extra time to visit with people Alexandra.  Oftentimes the simple act of chatting is the highlight of someones day.

Jan 29, 2016 03:17 AM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

Rebecca- I see a lot of that here... seniors who spend their days at the market just to have some social time and to be able to talk to someone, even if only the cashier. 

Jan 30, 2016 04:46 AM
Rebecca Foresee

Kathy, I'm always encouraged when I see the golden members of society out and about.  Now, if only the younger generations would listen!  There's so much to learn. 

Jan 30, 2016 05:45 AM
Inna Ivchenko
Barcode Properties - Encino, CA
Realtor® • GRI • HAFA • PSC Calabasas CA

I agree that elder people should not live alone. I had a client like this man. I worried about him being alone in his house. One day I visited him and was covered with blood since he tried to trim a tree and fell down......he could not get out for hours. I was checking on him till he became very sick and could not respond anymore. No, his family did not hire me to sell his house....but it is ok. Sometimes kindness is just kindness. 

Dec 12, 2017 10:52 PM