Getting Over the Loss of Your Life Partner

By
Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Advantage III Realty SL3068367

     This has been a tough few months.  My husband of 22 years unexpectedly passed away in December. We had just returned from a mini vacation with all of our children on Monday, and that Friday afternoon he suffered a massive stroke and passed away two days later (the day after my daughter's birthday).  I have been going thru the motions of living for the most part and have even returned to work, but there is just no enthusiasm as I move thru the day.  

 

     I will get past this, but I know that the next time that I encounter a potential buyer or seller who have recently suffered this type of loss, I will be a very different person as I work with them.  I fully understand why there is a recommendation to move very cautiously when making any big decisions after such a change.  You really are not all there....as much as you may appear to be.  So I will say to them, "take it slow" and "consider all of your options" before making a drastic change.  If it costs me a seller or a buyer by doing so, so be it.  I just know how I feel right now and right now my need to stay put far surpasses all other considerations.  But I am one of the lucky ones; I have the resources to do so.  Not all of those who are left behind are in my situation.   

 

     For those who absolutely have to sell (and sometimes quickly) I will say many prayers and help them in any way that I can.  Part of that process will also be the "letting go" of the person and their things that have been left behind.  This is no small task, nor is it an easy process.  Patience is key, and a gentle hand is critical.  Now I know firsthand what that means.  

Posted by

Youree Lundy

Keller Williams Advantage III Realty

Comments (22)

Evelyn Johnston
Friends & Neighbors Real Estate - Elkhart, IN
The People You Know, Like and Trust!

Youree, I am so sorry you have had to go thru such a thing. My sorrow cannot change it though, and as time goes by it will get easier.  When and if you come across a Client who is going thru it, you will be the person they need, because you truly do know what they are going through. Hold your head up high, this will get easier.

Jul 20, 2016 12:36 PM
Youree Lundy

Every day that I wake up I do count my blessings Evelyn Johnston .  I know that I will be better for those who are also experiencing a loss in the family.

Jul 25, 2016 11:50 PM
William Feela
WHISPERING PINES REALTY - North Branch, MN
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

I can't say i can feel your pain, but I did watch my current wife go through this some 20 years ago.  It was hard and heartbreaking.  I was a casual friend at the time.

If you have faith in the lord, lean on him.  Take a day at a time and think about what he would want you to do.  My prayers for you to find the peace you are searching for.

Jul 22, 2016 08:03 AM
Youree Lundy

Prayer, Faith and Family.  I am so blessed to have them as my "three legged stool" William Feela 

Jul 25, 2016 11:52 PM
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Louree

I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. I cannot imagine what this period has been for you and your family. Sending many thoughts and prayers to you.

Do take care of yourself, and your family first and foremost, and know that somehow things will gradually become less painful while wonderful memories linger.

Jeff

Jul 22, 2016 08:58 AM
Youree Lundy

I am blessed by my memories.  Thank you for your kind words.  Jeff Dowler CRS 

Jul 25, 2016 11:53 PM
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Youree,

What a tough moment to have to go through!  I think that Jeff Dowler CRS said it beautifully.  Alexandra

 

Jul 22, 2016 09:21 AM
Debbie Reynolds, C21 Platinum Properties
Platinum Properties- (931)771-9070 - Clarksville, TN
The Dedicated Clarksville TN Realtor-(931)320-6730

It is tough and so sorry for your loss. We all should be more attentive to the pain someone else is going through.

Jul 22, 2016 11:54 AM
Youree Lundy

In this business, it can be easy to forget the emotion of that loss.  I will be so much more mindful of that going forward.  Debbie Reynolds 

Jul 25, 2016 11:54 PM
Janice Zaltman
United Realty Group - Boca Raton, FL
South Florida Residential Real Estate

I am very sorry for your loss.  22 years is beautiful. Grieving is a process and takes time. He will always be in your heart. 

Jul 22, 2016 12:02 PM
Youree Lundy

Yes he is.  Thank you for your words of support Janice Hope Zaltman LEED AP 

Jul 25, 2016 11:55 PM
Sybil Campbell
Fernandina Beach, FL
Referral Agent Amelia Island Florida

I am so sorry for your loss and admire you for moving forward with your life!

Jul 22, 2016 12:51 PM
Youree Lundy

I have to be an example for my children (who have been awesome, by the way).  Adversity happens to all of us but continuing to put one foot in front of the other is important Sybil Campbell 

Jul 25, 2016 11:56 PM
Noah Seidenberg
Coldwell Banker - Evanston, IL
Chicagoland and Suburbs (800) 858-7917

I am so sorry for you tragic loss Youree Lundy I know you do not know me but if you want someone to talk with please let me know. My father who I was very close with passed away suddenly and I spoke the last words with him.

Peace and Love to you and your family.

Jul 22, 2016 12:59 PM
Youree Lundy

Thank you so much for the offer, and do not be suprised to see my number come up  Noah Seidenberg .  There have been days when the loss inertia is tough to overcome; talking about it helps to push forward. 

Jul 25, 2016 11:59 PM
Pat Mistretta
PalmerHouse Properties & Associates - Atlanta, GA
Atlanta Lofts and City Living

Youree - I am so very sorry to hear of your loss and of what you and your family are going though.    No words expressed will ever fill your emptiness.  As you continue to move forward through the course of your new life, you will find more strength.  Take things one day at a time and know that your insight and empathy will help others who find themselves in a similar situation.  Blessings to you and your family

Jul 22, 2016 08:02 PM
Youree Lundy

Thank you Pat Mistretta 

Jul 25, 2016 11:59 PM
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Oh Youree, I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your husband.  And, thank you for sharing this with us. Please know that there are many hugs and prayers that are being sent your way, and that at any time, you have the support of many here.  Take care of yourself and your family. 

Jul 23, 2016 03:59 AM
Youree Lundy

I will, and thank you so much for your words of support Kathy Streib 

Jul 26, 2016 12:00 AM
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

Thanks for sharing your story. I am sorry to hear about your loss. 

It is good to see your blog and I hope you will find some additional support in the ActiveRain community.

Jul 24, 2016 05:15 AM
Debbie Laity
Cedaredge Land Company - Cedaredge, CO
Your Real Estate Resource for Delta County, CO

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. So very sorry for the pain you must be going through. I wish there were some magic words that could be said to make it all better, but there aren't any such words. 

Jul 24, 2016 05:33 AM
Yolanda Cordova-Gilbert
Richmond, TX

Youree,

 I am so sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine loosing my husband I would be lost without him! I will pray for you and your family just know we are here should you need to talk, as Debbie Laity said there are no magic words!

Jul 24, 2016 06:15 AM
Youree Lundy

You said it; feeling lost at times is the hardest part.  When they are here, we take for granted all that happens that they are a part of.  Now that he is gone, I see how much he said, did and was instrumental in happening in our lives.  But I remember the joy...

Jul 26, 2016 12:03 AM
Robert Bob Gilbert
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Anderson Properties - Katy, TX
Your Katy TX ( West of Houston) Real Estate Expert

I am so sorry to hear the news of your husband's passing. We will say prayers for you and your family. Losing a soul mate is so difficult to even begin to deal with. 

Jul 24, 2016 07:25 AM
Youree Lundy

Thank you Robert Bob Gilbert.

Jul 26, 2016 12:03 AM
Lou Ludwig
Ludwig & Associates - Boca Raton, FL
Designations Earned CRB, CRS, CIPS, GRI, SRES, TRC

Youree

Sorry to hear about your lost . . . . My prayers are with you.

Good luck and success.

Lou Ludwig

Jul 24, 2016 12:52 PM
Youree Lundy

Thank you Lou Ludwig 

Jul 26, 2016 12:04 AM
Beth Atalay
Cam Realty and Property Management - Clermont, FL
Cam Realty of Clermont FL

Youree, I am so very sorry for your loss, prayers to you and your children. There are no words that will make your pain any less, sending you a huge cyber hug.

Jul 25, 2016 08:56 AM
Youree Lundy

Thank you Beth Atalay 

Jul 26, 2016 12:04 AM
Joanna Cohlan
Fresh Eyes For Your Home - Chappaqua, NY
Designing, Decorating & Staging Westchester Homes

Hi Youree, Mary Yonkers let us know about your loss and just know that now that we know, we are thinking about you and sending you as Beth Atalay says, a "cyber hug".

Jul 25, 2016 10:33 AM
Youree Lundy

Thank you so much for the "hug".  My anniversary was this weekend, so all of the kind words have been so appreciated!

Jul 26, 2016 12:04 AM
Chris Lima
Atlantic Shores Realty Expertise - Port St Lucie, FL
Local or Global-Allow me to open doors for you.

Youree, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband.  I will send prayers your way for comfort and healing.  Thank you for sharing.

Aug 25, 2016 11:47 PM
Youree Lundy

Thank you for your prayers.  We are gradually moving ahead as time has gone on.  Writing this has really helped me to feel better about it.

Aug 26, 2016 12:12 AM
Mary Yonkers
Alan Kells School of Real Estate/Howard Hanna Real Estate - Erie, PA
Erie/PA Real Estate Instructor

Youree Lundy Been thinking of you this fall & wanted to stop & say hello today.

 More hugs 🤔😍😊

Oct 11, 2016 06:12 AM
Youree Lundy

Hey, I just noticed that you are a Millionaire!  Congratulations!  I aspire to reach this very lofty position one day too.

Oct 11, 2016 10:14 AM
Youree Lundy
Keller Williams Advantage III Realty - Orlando, FL
Your Realtor For Life

Thank you for thinking about me Mary Yonkers.  In two days it will be 10 months which explains my funk in the last few days.  But that will pass I know.  I  am getting back to being active on the Rain; I miss you all of the great people and information.  I hope that fall is being kind to you! 

Oct 11, 2016 09:24 AM