Measuring Progress

As agents, I am sure many of you have shown homes where somewhere in the house; there is a door casing marked with lines, dates, and name’s measuring the growth of the children living there. I have even had sellers want to take the board with them when they moved…considering this growth chart more important their most treasured possessions… their flat screen televisions.

Seeing this growth chart always brings a smile to my face as I recall my own children backing up to the door casing in our home and stretching themselves out in order to have their height measured. As a parent, you always had to remind them to put their feet flat on the floor and not to try and stand on their toes.

I am a diabetic and I have to be careful with watching my weight. I get on the scales every morning because I learned a while ago that it is easier to take off that pound that just showed up, than it is to let a week, or two go between visits to the scale and discover that 10 pounds has attached itself to my stomach, or butt.

We seem to have plenty of ways to measure our physical growth. Even without elaborate measuring devices, we are constantly reminded that we have “grown” when we strain to put on a shirt or a pair of pants and discover we have more flesh than fabric.

It’s a little harder measuring the growth between our ears.

Oh sure, we have IQ tests to measure intellect. As children we all took tests in grade school, junior high, high school, and college. As real estate agents, we are constantly taking continuing education classes…and many of them have a test at the conclusion of the training session.  So, most of us have a pretty good handle about what we know and maybe, more importantly, what we don’t know.

But did you ever stop to think about the lack of measuring sticks there are for the really important stuff in life? Things like honesty, integrity, loyalty, selflessness…the things that really count in life. How do we measure whether we have enough of the “right stuff”?

I think over the course of our life, we collect and lose people depending on how we treat people. If you are not loyal…if you are not honest; there is a very good chance that over time, those people in your life who are honest and loyal are not going to remain your friends very long. As the good people in your life drift away, their void is filled by people lacking in positive qualities.

I think the most valuable possession you can have in this world is to have someone who has the courage to tell when you are being a jerk. Just like the example of the bathroom scale can tell you when you have put on an extra pound…a good friend will tell you when you have stepped over the line the first time you do it. Without that friend, or mentor…there is no one to serve as your moral compass as you slowly drift out to sea. Sadly, many of our young people feel alone…even in a room filled with others.

I was blessed to grow up in a small community where everyone knew who your parents were, and if you stepped out of line there was no confusion about “if” your parents were going to get a call about your misdeeds…it was only a question of “when”. Just as important, my parents impressed upon me and my brother that our side of what occurred was not up for discussion. The simple fact that one of our teachers, or a neighbor, or a friend’s parents felt the need to call was enough ammunition for my mom and dad.

I remember having a conversation with my wife about her father. I asked her what her father would do to punish her and her sisters once they were teenagers. She looked at me kind of puzzled and gave it some thought and then said, “I don’t know. We were so afraid to disappoint him that we didn’t ever challenge his authority.” I constantly remind my kids that life is God’s teachable moment with us. While we grow in stature, it is just as important that we grow in character as well.

I’ll end this with the following tale…

The Story of the Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, 'My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all. 

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. 

One is Good.  It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.' 

 The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: 'Which wolf wins?'

 The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”