I have a new client who are a multi generational household. They consist of the daughter and her husband and her elderly parents. Many families live in multi generational households, which are defined as 3 and even 4 generations living under the same roof. These are common in developing countries but are also becoming more prevalent in the US. The rising cost of real estate, health care, senior care and even childcare are making families join forces.
Some of the reasons families choose to live together are:
- Money. Loss of a job or unexpected expenses, like divorce or death in the family.
- A big move, where one family unit lives with another family unit or member who is already in the area until they can become familiar with the area and establish their own home.
- A desire to live in an area with high costs. By having more family members live in a single house, the family can afford a nicer, larger house in a better neighborhood and with better schools.
- Working parents who prefer to have their own family members care for their children instead of strangers.
- Elderly relatives who need to be looked after by family instead of home care services. Unexpected circumstances, such as a debilitating injury, heart problems, or an incurable disease. An extended family living situation can provide a helpful cushion if and when such circumstances arise.
Each generation in the household introduces a set of potential complications that must be addressed for the new household to thrive.
- Open communication is the key so everyone is on the same page. For those in the household that need care, such as an elderly parent, define the responsibilities up front. Which of the family members are primarily responsible for this care.
- Discuss concerns about boundaries and privacy. It can be difficult to have privacy in these living conditions.
- If there are children in the home, let the parents raise their own children. Talk to grandparents about not counteracting the rules parents have set for your children.
- Have a clear understanding of who will pay the bills.
- Have regular family meeting to discuss any problems.
Multi generational homes can be a blessing. Children are nurtured by their grandparents. If there are no children in the home, adult children have the guidance and assistance of their parents. Also, the elderly parents are taken care of and it can give them a sense of purpose and security.
In the early years of our country, multi generational households were normal. You grew up on the farm in a big house with your Mom and Dad. The house was passed down from generations to generations. Just like to TV show the Waltons. Olds folks were not forgotten.
