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The Last Photo of My Brother and Me

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Real Estate Agent with RE/MAX Gold DRE #00697006

Because so many of you shared your stories with me and lent support when I went to Minneapolis to see my dying brother, I feel it's only fair to let you know he has finally died. It happened over the weekend sometime. My sister thinks maybe Sunday, but she's not entirely certain because my brother's wife was rather unclear when she called my sister yesterday.

He was in so much pain that the hopsice people came to his house and put him into a semi-coma on Friday. Pumped up the drugs to a point where he could no longer talk.

One of the things I managed to do when I was in Minneapolis last week to say goodbye was to try to introduce my brother's wife to a Minneapolis real estate agent from AR, Michael Weiland. She said she was dumping her house as soon as he left it. I imagine that would have been yesterday.

You can read more in my personal blog today and see our last photograph at this link: My Brother in Minneapolis Won't Be Going to the Minnesota State Fair.

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Elizabeth Weintraub is co-partner of Weintraub & Wallace Team of Top Producing Realtors, an author, home buying expert at The Balance, a Land Park resident, and a veteran real estate agent who specializes in older, classic homes in Land Park, Curtis Park, Midtown, Carmichael and East Sacramento, as well as tract homes in Elk Grove, Natomas, Roseville and Lincoln. Call Elizabeth Weintraub at 916.233.6759. Put our combined 80 years of real estate experience to work for you. Broker-Associate at RE/MAX Gold. DRE License # 00697006.

Photo: Unless otherwise noted in this blog, the photo is copyrighted by Big Stock Photo and used with permission.The views expressed herein are Weintraub's personal views and do not reflect the views of RE/MAX Gold. Disclaimer: If this post contains a listing, information is deemed reliable as of the date it was written. After that date, the listing may be sold, listed by another brokerage, canceled, pending or taken temporarily off the market, and the price could change without notice; it could blow up, explode or vanish. To find out the present status of any listing, please go to elizabethweintraub.com.

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Bob "RealMan" Timm
Ward County Notary Services - Minot, ND
Owner of Ward Co. Notary Services, retired Realtor

Sorry for your and the Worlds loss of your brother Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Real Estate Agent, Top 1% of Lyon Agents 

Jun 14, 2016 02:44 AM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Good morning, Elizabeth --- I'm glad you were able to make that one last trip. Rest in Peace, John.   As far as family dynamics --- oh, the stories we can each share, right?  

Jun 14, 2016 02:48 AM
Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Realtor Top 1%
RE/MAX Gold - Sacramento, CA
Put 40 years of experience to work for you

Thank you Bob "RealMan" Timm . He hung in there for almost 3 years after his diagnosis.

Michael Jacobs You betcha. If it wasn't for the police going over to my sister's house to report my brother had committed suicide, we wouldn't have made the initial attempt to contact his family, which is how we found out he was dying (and that the guy who jumped off the bridge wasn't him).

Jun 14, 2016 02:54 AM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

I had a family member that I didn't talk with for years.  Hurts had happened and it was better no seeing them.  Then in October of 1995 our kids ran into one another at a school function and we started talking.  In January of 1996 her son died.  I was grateful for those months that I was around her son again.  I have no regrets.  So I know a little of what you feel about that lost time and am glad you got to say good bye.

Jun 14, 2016 03:34 AM
Chris Ann Cleland
Long and Foster REALTORS®, Gainesville, VA - Bristow, VA
Associate Broker, Bristow, VA

So sorry to hear that John passed.  It is a blessing that he reached out before it was too late.  A diagnosis of lung cancer is definitely one that would make whatever the issue was with his sisters seem minor.  

His suffering is over.  Let this not be the beginning of regret on the part of the Burgard sisters.  

 

Jun 14, 2016 04:30 AM
Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Realtor Top 1%
RE/MAX Gold - Sacramento, CA
Put 40 years of experience to work for you

Tammy Lankford, Looking back, I wish it hadn't been this way. But I felt that way when it was announced by my brother's wife (he never told me himself). Wishing things weren't that way doesn't mean we have the power to change them until the person who initiated it does. Which in your case I guess was you. I'm glad you have no regrets.

Jun 14, 2016 04:34 AM
Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Realtor Top 1%
RE/MAX Gold - Sacramento, CA
Put 40 years of experience to work for you

Chris Ann Cleland He was in such pain toward the end. Just watching him put his hand over his eyes and grimace due to the pain made my heart twist. I am glad he is at peace now. He was ready to go and said so.

Jun 14, 2016 04:36 AM
Raymond E. Camp
Howard Hanna Real Estate Services - Ontario, NY
Licensed Real Estate Salesperson Greater Rochester

Good afternoon Elizabeth,

Sorry to hear about your brother.

It seems being the oldest of nine there is always one that does not want to talk to the rest.

Make yourself an astonishing day.

Jun 14, 2016 06:23 AM
Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Realtor Top 1%
RE/MAX Gold - Sacramento, CA
Put 40 years of experience to work for you

Raymond E. Camp Wow, 9 kids? We had 4 and now 3 and one of those is a sister who is not talking to me or my youngest sister. We call her from time to time and leave messages on her answering machine but she never calls us back.

Jun 14, 2016 09:03 AM
Raymond E. Camp

I have a sister and a brother whom will not return calls so I know the feeling!

Jun 14, 2016 10:03 PM
Hella M. Rothwell, Broker/Realtor®
Carmel by the Sea, CA
Rothwell Realty Inc. CA#01968433 Carmel-by-the-Sea

Hope your brother is now at peace with whatever he was carrying around all those years. By the way, I like that you call a spade a spade. Obituaries or blogs of a death or whatever are hard to write. Most are written without the "warts", those family dynamics that get shoved under the rug when someone dies. Your family is probably not so different than a lot of others. We'll have to compare stories some time over a Mai Tai! Or not, Mai Tais are a "happy" drink.

Jun 14, 2016 09:19 AM
Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Realtor Top 1%
RE/MAX Gold - Sacramento, CA
Put 40 years of experience to work for you

Hella M. Rothwell, Broker/Realtor® Mai tais, margaritas or manhattans, all good. My sister is now furious with our sister-in-law for not mentioning us by name in the death notice. She's also angry that our SIL named her own family as our brother's parents, and her own sisters as his daughters and what not -- which is kinda weird -- but hey, she's paying for the death notice, she can write whatever she wants. I tried to get my sister to let it go, but she's hanging on to this with all of her might. I even offered to pay for my sister's own death notice, because anybody can pay and publish in the Star Tribune. Oy.

Jun 14, 2016 09:24 AM
Hella M. Rothwell, Broker/Realtor®

I feel so sorry for your brother that he felt he had to cut off relations with his REAL family all those years. Sounds like his wife and her family were the problem all along. Yep, I would be sorely tempted to write that 2nd obituary.

Jun 15, 2016 12:54 AM
Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Elizabeth, Our condolences.  It's not easy to lose a sibling.  Both Liz and I have lost brothers in the last few years and it's tough.

Jun 14, 2016 11:17 AM
Joe Petrowsky
Mortgage Consultant, Right Trac Financial Group, Inc. NMLS # 2709 - Manchester, CT
Your Mortgage Consultant for Life

Good morning Elizabeth. Words don't really say it well enough. I'm sorry for your loss.

Jun 14, 2016 10:41 PM
Debbie Reynolds, C21 Platinum Properties
Platinum Properties- (931)771-9070 - Clarksville, TN
The Dedicated Clarksville TN Realtor-(931)320-6730

So glad you could say your goodbyes before he passed. You have my sincere condolences for your loss.

Jun 15, 2016 01:42 AM
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Elizabeth

So sorry to hear, but he is in a better place and free from pain and suffering. How fortunate you got to see him soon before he died. As far as the family dynamics, some are just hard to comprehend and perhaps have no real explanation.

Jeff

Jun 15, 2016 03:22 AM
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Broker-Associate at RE/MAX Gold, Midtown and Sierra Oaks Sacramento office. Co-partner Weintraub & Wallace Realtors. Selling since 1974. Homebuying expert at The Balance. Weintraub & Wallace sells homes from Galt to Lincoln.
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Author Bio: Elizabeth Weintraub is a Sacramento real estate broker, author, home buying expert for The Balance, a Land Park resident, who specializes not only in older, classic homes in Land Park, Curtis Park, Midtown and East Sacramento but sells extensively from Elk Grove to Lincoln. Weintraub is prominently known as the #1 Sacramento Short Sale agent throughout the Sacramento four-county area. Call Elizabeth Weintraub at 916.233.6759. Put 40+ years of real estate experience to work for you.

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