I know y'all pretty much hate football. And you know I'm talking about my game - real football, the kind you actually play with your feet - the one known as the World Game or the Beautiful Game. And I know part of the reason you hate it is because of jerks like me, with our superior attitudes and snarky comments about your game, the one the refs stop every 23 seconds so it can be all about them.
But all that is beside the point. And in the spirit of reconciliation, I'm going to ignore the fact that you stole our name - I'll call it soccer for the rest of this post.
So, here's what's happening. There's a major world class soccer tournament going on right now here in the USA. It's the Copa America Centenario, the quadrennial competition between all of the South American teams. This year, for the 100th anniversary of the competition, they decided to hold it here and invited 6 teams from North and Central America to participate.
The tournament is down to serious business now, and there are only 4 teams left standing. The USA is one of them! They have been playing very well and have a shot at going all the way, which would be a huge deal.
Of course, there's a catch. To progress to the final, the USA has to beat Argentina, currently ranked #1 in the world. Even worse, Argentina is led by Lionel Messi, the greatest player to ever play the game. And Argentina is packed with many other world-class players. They're going to be tough to beat.
As a matter of full disclosure, I am a big Argentina fan and I've been following Messi since he came on the scene as a teenager. He's a fantastic athlete and his game is a thing of beauty. I'm really looking forward to my team brutally dismantling your team.
The USA needs your support, and as a plus, you'll get to see soccer at it's highest level, and the amazing skills of the greatest player ever. But wait, there's more! Should the USA win - a statistically improbable insult to the way things ought to be - you'll get to talk smack at me without mercy until you're tired of it.
So give yourselves a real treat and next Tuesday, June 21st, tune into Fox Sports at 9PM EDT, catch the action and root for your team. I guarantee something worth watching, whatever the outcome.
You have to understand 
But I am all for supporting the US Team and I will be thinking of them tomorrow night!
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