"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." Henry Youngman
"Life is just one damned thing after another." Elbert Hubbard
"There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age."Benjamin Spock
"I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three days already!" Tommy Cooper
"Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed." Albert Einstein
"I could have been a Rhodes Scholar, except for my grades." Duffy Daugherty
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss. Jim Murray
"Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that."Bill Shankly
"A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture." Chris Rock
"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory." Albert Einstein
"Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.' " Joe Namath
"I'm trying to read a book on how to relax, but I keep falling asleep." Jim Loy
"I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do." Phyllis Diller
"Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning." George Reeves
***MY PERSONAL FAVORITE....I'm not offended by all the dumb-blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde. Dolly Parton
Have a great day!! ;)
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