Erma Bombeck - "When God Created Mothers"

By
Real Estate Sales Representative with BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS REAL ESTATE SIGNATURE SERVICE

 

Erma Bombeck awas an American humourist who achieved great poopularity for new newspaper column that described suburban homelife from the mid 1960's.  She wrote over 4,000 articles in her newspaper column and 15 books were were instant best sellers.  

When this was published in her column on Mother's Day it was an instant success, being clipped from newspapers, tucked into purses, and tacked onto refrigerators everywhere.

 

“When God Created Mothers"

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said. "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one." 

And God said, "Have you read the specs on this order?" She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts...all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands." 

The angel shook her head slowly and said. "Six pairs of hands.... no way." 

It's not the hands that are causing me problems," God remarked, "it's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have." 

That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. God nodded. 

One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, 'What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word." 

God," said the angel touching his sleeve gently, "Get some rest tomorrow...." 

I can't," said God, "I'm so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick...can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger...and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower." 

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed. 

But tough!" said God excitedly. "You can imagine what this mother can do or endure." 

Can it think?" 

Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator. 

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. 

There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model." 

It's not a leak," said the Lord, "It's a tear." 

What's it for?" 

It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride." 

You are a genius, " said the angel. 

Somberly, God said, "I didn't put it there.” 


― Erma BombeckWhen God Created Mothers

 

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Ambassador
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Debbie Reynolds, C21 Platinum Properties
Platinum Properties- (931)771-9070 - Clarksville, TN
The Dedicated Clarksville TN Realtor-(931)320-6730

I remember Erma from growing up. We had some of her books in our home and her humor was some of the best. 

Feb 07, 2018 09:34 PM #1
Rainmaker
3,508,921
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

This is a blast from the past:)) I remember Erma and reading her syndicated articles... I was looking forward to every article, Endre

Feb 07, 2018 11:25 PM #2
Rainmaker
3,843,838
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good morning Gloria. Remember some of the quips of Erma. Thanks for the memories. Enjoy your day!

Feb 08, 2018 04:51 AM #3
Rainmaker
577,189
Gloria Valvasori, Accredited Senior Agent
BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS REAL ESTATE SIGNATURE SERVICE - Mississauga, ON
REAL Experience | REAL Commitment | REAL Results!

HI Debbie, She is one of my favourites'  I remember seeingher on TV at times and always love her quote because they were mostly all true things taken from her everyday life.

Feb 08, 2018 05:34 AM #4
Rainmaker
577,189
Gloria Valvasori, Accredited Senior Agent
BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS REAL ESTATE SIGNATURE SERVICE - Mississauga, ON
REAL Experience | REAL Commitment | REAL Results!

Hi Wayne, I always enjoyer her quotes, she was quite the funny lade.  Enjoy your day as well!

Feb 08, 2018 05:35 AM #5
Rainmaker
577,189
Gloria Valvasori, Accredited Senior Agent
BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS REAL ESTATE SIGNATURE SERVICE - Mississauga, ON
REAL Experience | REAL Commitment | REAL Results!

HI Endre, indeed it is a blast from the past, but I always enjoy reading her quotes... they struck home quite often..

Feb 08, 2018 05:35 AM #6
Rainmaker
3,852,664
Sheila Anderson
Referral Group Incorporated - East Brunswick, NJ
The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133

Good morning Gloria. I remember Erma Bombeck and always enjoyed her insights and truths.

Feb 08, 2018 06:55 AM #7
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