Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes - Because Pilgrims aren't Funny

Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Capital Properties DC AB15253

A man buys a parrot, only to have it constantly insult him. He tries everything to make the parrot stop, but nothing works. Frustrated, the man puts the parrot in the freezer. After a few minutes the insults stop. The man thinks he might have killed the parrot, so he opens the freezer and takes the parrot out. The parrot is shivering. It stammers, “S-s-sorry for being r-r-rude. Please f-f-forgive me.” Then, after a moment, the parrot softly asks, “W-w-what exactly d-d-did the turkey do?”


Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.

What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!

Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks

What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!

Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!

What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot

What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving

What did the turkey say to the computer? Google, google, google!

 What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing! Wing!

What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot. 




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Jeff Dowler, CRS
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude - Carlsbad

Hi Lise

I always enjoy a good laugh and you sure have provided it here with the holiday funnies. have a wonderful Thanksgiving!


Nov 22, 2016 09:31 PM #1
Sally K. & David L. Hanson
Keller Williams 414-525-0563 - Brookfield, WI
WI Realtors - Luxury - Divorce - Short Sale

Thank you for the chuckles and wishing you the best of the holiday

Nov 23, 2016 04:09 AM #2
James Dray
Fathom Realty AR LLC - Bentonville, AR
Exceptional Agents, Outstanding Results

Good morning Lise.  Where did you find some of these?  Thanks for sharing, may you and yours have a great turkey day

Nov 23, 2016 04:15 AM #3
Gabe Sanders
Real Estate of Florida specializing in Martin County Residential Homes, Condos and Land Sales - Stuart, FL
Stuart Florida Real Estate

Good morning Lise.  Thanks for bringing a smile to my face on this day before Thanksgiving.

Nov 23, 2016 04:25 AM #4
Raymond E. Camp
Howard Hanna Real Estate Services - Ontario, NY
Licensed Real Estate Salesperson Greater Rochester

Good morning Lise,

Thanks for the chuckles.

Make yourself an astonishing day.

Nov 23, 2016 05:00 AM #5
Nina Hollander
RE/MAX Executive | Charlotte, NC - Charlotte, NC
Your Charlotte/Ballantyne/Waxhaw/Fort Mill Realtor

Hi Lise... laughing like crazy here in Charlotte. So corny and so bloody funny at the same time. Thanks for the laugh.

Nov 23, 2016 05:33 AM #6
Brian England
Arizona Focus Realty - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

Those are funny!  Now I know what to do if I ever have a parrot insulting me, but I will need to make sure a turkey is in there with him, so he knows how serious it can get, haha.

Nov 23, 2016 05:42 AM #7
Lisa Von Domek
Lisa Von Domek Team - Dallas, TX
....Experience Isn't Expensive.... It's Priceless!

Very cute Lise Howe thanks for the much needed laughs!

Wishing you and yours a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Nov 23, 2016 03:58 PM #8
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Prado Real Estate South - St. George, UT
So Utah Residential, Referral & Relocation REALTOR

Love the holiday humor Lise! Have a wonderful day tomorrow.

Nov 23, 2016 07:03 PM #9
Lou Ludwig
Ludwig & Associates - Boca Raton, FL
Designations Earned CRB, CRS, CIPS, GRI, SRES, TRC


A little turkey humor is a good thing for Thanksgiving.

Good luck and success.

Lou Ludwig

Nov 23, 2016 09:33 PM #10
Jane Chaulklin-Schott
TEAMCONNECT REALTY - (407) 394-9766 - Orlando, FL
TeamConnect Luxury Homes - Orlando, Florida, 32836

And Happy Thanksgiving Day to you, Lise Howe, and your family. Loved the funny jokes; they were great! I was in need of a few chuckles and thanks to you, I did laugh. 

Nov 23, 2016 11:52 PM #11
Michael Jacobs
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena Area Real Estate 818.516.4393

Hi Lise and Happy Post-Thanksgiving.  Thank you for sharing some classic jokes. If only our scales and waistlines had an easy reset function.

Nov 25, 2016 08:21 AM #12
Lise Howe
Keller Williams Capital Properties - Washington, DC
Assoc. Broker and Attorney Licensed in DC, MD, VA,

Michael Jacobs - wouldn't that be a wonderful idea - a reset function on our scales and waistlines- and probably it would be good if all the calories in the left overs could disappear. 

Nov 25, 2016 08:30 AM #13
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Assoc. Broker and Attorney Licensed in DC, MD, VA,
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