Day #8 - Thanks To Those Who Are & To Those Who Aren't

Real Estate Agent with DFW FINE PROPERTIES 0506509

©Musings by Patricia Feager, 11/23/2016


Regardless of where you go or if you don't go anywhere at all, the days before, on and after Thanksgiving Day are emotional days for all. We think about the ones we love or loved, the ones who are still in our life and those who are not, and we think and wonder about the people who once played an important role in our life but are no longer there. And we sometimes wonder, whatever happened to them?


Like many people, I have fond memories of my mother's dining room table. It was the day we cleaned every nook and cranny. Some kids had baseboard duty; others polishing the silver, there was vacuuming, dusting, cooking, and cleaning. It was my father's job to clean the chandelier, take out the garbage, so the dog wouldn't get inside while mom was cooking, and their job to pull the table apart to add the additional pieces to extend the size of the table. 


When the guests arrived, they included grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, uncles, some of their in-laws, cousins, and as my older sisters got married, we added chairs for my brother-in-laws and my parent's grandchildren. Guests were served first. Our family was the last ones to sit down and if there weren't enough chairs, we waited our turn or found a spot and sat down to eat later. There was no T.V. and the rooms were filled with good conversation and our dog got lots of attention.


My mother's dining room table and the house I was raised in no longer exists. Many people have passed away. I'm well acquainted with nevermore. The dining room in this photograph isn't mine, so I borrowed one. The photo was taken at the DeGoya House at the Dallas Arboretum I visited a few days ago, and I added words to the photograph. If you are lucky enough to have Thanksgiving Dinner with family, give thanks because you have something others may not have. Be gentle and kind with the people who are driving on the roads - you never know what the driver is thinking. If you could avoid T.V. for one day, practice speaking to each other. Now is the time to get to know more about each other. There is nothing more painful to me than for relatives to say, "I never knew that about ________."


Stay away from discussing anything controversial, such as politics. Accept each other for who they are. Pay no attention to the person who may have hair color they weren't born with or tattoos that suddenly appeared, forget about what people are wearing, don't worry so much about the baseboards or if there are enough chairs. Listen to each other and give thanks while you can. Remember those who no longer exist, or some you don't know who are struggling with some type of physical, emotional, or financial pain of their own. Be sensitive. Be kind. Be gentle. Ask for life's blessings without a curse. 


Thanksgiving Table


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Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD
Roy and Dolores Kelley Photographs

Thanks for sharing your fond memories. I remember those dinners at my grandmother's home and eating in shifts because the family could not fit in the dining room for a single sitting.

Nov 23, 2016 07:26 AM #1
Kristin Johnston - REALTOR®
RE/MAX Realty Center - Waukesha, WI
Giving Back With Each Home Sold!

wonderful post and message.....I hope you have a great day tomorrow and all year long

Nov 23, 2016 07:28 AM #2
Beth Atalay
Cam Realty and Property Management - Clermont, FL
Cam Realty of Clermont FL

What a great and timely message Patricia Feager, this is a time of creating memories for the years to come, let them be positive and uplifting.

Nov 23, 2016 07:56 AM #3
Rebecca Lewis
ODAT Realty Services, Inc - Grayson, GA

What a beautiful heartfelt post. Brought back all kinds of bittersweet memories. Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving

Nov 23, 2016 08:29 AM #4
Will Hamm
Hamm Homes - Aurora, CO
"Where There's a Will, There's a Way!"

Hello Patricia Feager, Just last night I was texting with my niece in Pennsylvania and it was all about my moms cooking on Thanksgiving.  My mom only took 3 days off from the restaurant and Thanksgiving is the one that the whole family got together for a feast from Turkey, Ham, Chicken, Mashed Pototes, Pennsylvania dutch pototoes, Osyter filling , hamburger filling, cheese gravy, turkey gravey and so much more.  Special day for all of us.  We miss her for the last 18 years.

Nov 23, 2016 08:48 AM #5
Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Real Estate Agent, Top 1% of Lyon Agents
Lyon Real Estate - Sacramento, CA
Put 40 years of experience to work for you

Not that you asked . . . Thanksgiving at my house growing up meant I was the one to get up at 5 AM and put the turkey in the oven, which I had stuffed and prepared the night before, and I was only 7 or 8 when I made my first turkey on Thanksgiving. My father was a drunk and my mother was emotionally unavailable. All of our relatives smoked like chimneys and fought.

Once I got out of that house at age 15, my life dramatically improved, and every year I am thankful for that escape. Not everybody has a Norman Rockwell life. And that's OK.

Nov 23, 2016 09:10 AM #6
Lottie Kendall
Pacific Union International - San Francisco, CA
Serving San Francisco and the Silicon Valley

This is a lovely post, Patricia. I like your admonition to be gentle with one another and to be accepting.

Nov 23, 2016 09:28 AM #7
Belinda Spillman
Aspen Lane Real Estate Colorful Colorado - Aurora, CO
Colorado Living!

I bet lots of wonderful memories were made at this impressive table.  Thanks for sharing your story.

Nov 23, 2016 10:04 AM #8
Bob "RealMan" Timm
Alliance Real Estate - Minot - Minot, ND
Bob Timm, Broker Associate, Alliance Real Estate

Patricia Feager your post and your picture reminds me of my favorite Thanksgiving which was the 1st one I spent with my Bride. We were not even engaged yet but she invited me to spend it with her family at her two old unmarried aunt's home. I hardly knew Carol yet I never felt more at home then at this table surrounded by people I hardly knew. I think Carol and I may be the only ones still living that sat around that table that day about 20 years ago.

Nov 23, 2016 12:18 PM #9
Lisa Von Domek
Lisa Von Domek Team - Dallas, TX
....Experience Isn't Expensive.... It's Priceless!

Lovely post for the holiday Patricia Feager .  But don't discuss are taking all of the fun out of the occasion

Wishing you and yours a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Nov 23, 2016 03:13 PM #10
Debe Maxwell, CRS | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
Charlotte Homes for Sale - Charlotte Neighborhoods

Oh, how poignant, yet beautiful, Patricia Feager!  I was just chatting with someone the other day about how Thanksgivings have changed over the years and I wonder who (in my family) will take on my passion for the celebration next!  My grandmother began the tradition of having the entire family around her HUGE table!  I remember being a young adult and going up with other family members for Thanksgiving and she would be just beside herself because my parents couldn't make it because of my Dad's work!  Now, the celebration with those who are still living and the additional family members, is at my home and I LOVE it!

This will be my first Thanksgiving without one of my boys, who has been transferred (just 2 months ago) and his office is open on Friday so, he could only have tomorrow off.  He and his wife will be celebrating alone and it just breaks my heart!  I had a great conversation with them earlier as they were asking for recipes and tips on cooking dishes for tomorrow.  We'll be having a 'virtual' Thanksgiving with them, I suppose but, it will definitely not feel the same without them!

I also love your advice about topics of conversation and simply being kind to one another - tomorrow and every day of the year!  

Nov 23, 2016 03:32 PM #11
Debbie Laity
Cedaredge Land Company - Cedaredge, CO
Your Real Estate Resource for Delta County, CO

My mom left when I was five. What I remember is my grandmother's table. I miss those days when the family gathered around that big table and we had a kid's table, too. It was a lot of fun spending time with my cousins that traveled to be at grandma's house for the holiday. 

Nov 23, 2016 07:28 PM #12
Debbie Reynolds
Platinum Properties - Clarksville, TN
Your Dedicated Clarksville TN Real Estate Agent

I just heard a story about a family I know that are not getting together this year because of a difference of opinion on political issues. I told my husband he can't bring it up and ever at family gatherings. You never know how it will be received. 

Nov 23, 2016 07:48 PM #13
Patricia Feager
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Debbie Reynolds - I'm almost tempted to do a Survey Monkey but I dare not. But the point is, I'm thinking at least 1 out of every 3 people are still on a warpath about that election and can't accept the outcome. I'm hearing family stories that are breaking my heart because of how people are reacting. Throughout America and foreign countries too, it's the same old story about a Town Without Pity....

Nov 23, 2016 08:20 PM #14
Lou Ludwig
Ludwig & Associates - Boca Raton, FL
Designations Earned CRB, CRS, CIPS, GRI, SRES, TRC


Thanksgiving is a big family day and one to enjoy the memories of the past . . . . and make new memories.

Good luck and success.

Lou Ludwig

Nov 23, 2016 09:04 PM #15
Sheri Sperry - MCNE®
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Sedona, AZ
(928) 274-7355 ~ YOUR Solutions REALTOR®

Patricia, You write with such feeling that it comes through the pages and pulls at my heart strings.  I get lost in your posts as if I am reading a book.  I am very thankful that I get to read your "Musings".  We at the Rain are very lucky indeed to have such a poetic writer.

Thank you so much for this lovely story and giving me a chance to reflect back before I have to get moving on creating my Thanksgiving meal!

Nov 24, 2016 05:06 AM #16
Amanda S. Davidson
Amanda Davidson Real Estate Group - Alexandria, VA
Alexandria Virginia Homes For Sale

Patricia, what a beautiful post. I can just picture the memories you have of cleaning and then enjoying the feast. Have a very Happy Thanksgiving.

Nov 24, 2016 05:17 AM #17
Gabe Sanders
Real Estate of Florida specializing in Martin County Residential Homes, Condos and Land Sales - Stuart, FL
Stuart Florida Real Estate

Good morning Patricia.  I hope you and your family enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving Day today.

Nov 24, 2016 05:43 AM #18
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Patricia- This is such a wonderful reminder to enjoy those who are with us and be thankful that we have them.  Let's not focus on the differences that exist but celebrate what we have in common. 

Nov 24, 2016 10:49 AM #19
Evelyn Johnston
Friends & Neighbors Real Estate - Elkhart, IN
The People You Know, Like and Trust!

Well written Patricia, being thankful for those around you and appreciating that all of us come from different backgrounds is important.  It is okay, we don't all have to be the same. It is much more interesting this way.

Nov 24, 2016 04:14 PM #20
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