OK, it wasn't like I dropped the F-Bomb in a crowded Kids-R-Us or anything like that!
After a home inspection and before a neighborhood party, I decided to brave the shopping mall in DC's Columbia Heights to find a Christmas tree skirt (Willie the Labradoodle chewed on my old one). Target had one, but the check out line ran about a mile long, and I decided instead to try Bed, Bath, and Beyond.
I ran into a neighbor, who was also looking for Christmas stuff, and a great saleswoman was helping us. She ran back to the storeroom to see if they had what we needed, and a guy demonstrating $199 corkscrews was looking pretty lonely, and we decided to check out his wares while we waited.
I dropped my keys, and when I stood up after picking them up, my back bit me. And I must have said, "Oh, s---!" - although I'm sure it was under my breath.
CorkScrew Gan looked up shocked and said, "Oh my! You said the S-word!"
My neighbor said she didn't hear it (it was under by breath after all), but suggested that if I said it, at least it wasn't that other word.
Then, rather than dropping it, Cork Screw Guy said, quite indignantly, "We don't permit profane language at Bed Bath and Beyond!"
Then my back bit me again, and I must have winced but didn't say anything.
Then, CorkScrew Guy repeated his admonition once again, even though I was suffering in silence. I politely said that I'd heard him the first time, and my back bit me again. He was yammering about something, perhaps his corkscrew, and when the wonderful sales clerk returned, explaining they were out of tree skirts.
But before leaving, I turned to Cork Screw Guy and told him that I was going home and had a blog to write. Until I encountered him, I explained, I had no idea what I was going to write about. And I thanked him profusely ( and not profanely) because he had just inspired me with a topic - him! And how not to sell corkscrews!
Unprovoked public profanity is not my thing, but I'm rarely offended if someone utters a mild expletive if their back goes out, if they break a nail or stub a toe. So I took my profane language to the Marshall's on the first floor and found a beautiful tree skirt on sale, and a very short check out line. Now that was a pleasant shopping experience!