How To Handle Conflicts In Real Estate and In Life

Mortgage and Lending with SWBC Mortgage 410-960-2061 NMLS 196068

How To Handle Conflicts In Real Estate and In Life


A collegue of mine shared this fantastic conflict resolution tool. Unfortunately I am not sure who the original author was, but it sure makes a lot of sense to me!   Can you see how this can be useful in dealing with co-workers, clients, contractors, colleagues and even family members?   


AAA Failsafe Feedback Framework

1. “I want to talk to you about (issue).

My positive intention for this conversation is….”


2. “I noticed / saw / heard….”
This is where you objectively state facts without emotion


3. “I was thinking….”
My opinions, fears, concerns, conclusions I drew, meaning I made, the story I told myself  (without blame, judgment or criticism)

4. “I felt….”
Feelings triggered in me (mad, sad, glad, scared) (without implying the other person
caused them)

5. “I intend / want….”
Positive intentions and outcomes I want for you, me, us, and the situation

6. “I request ….”
Specific Do Differently behaviors and actions


7. “I’m doing / owning / contributing….”
What I’m doing, the commitment I’m making, the part I’m playing in the solution

8. “I’m listening….”   

 I genuinely want to hear you and find a solution that works for both of us


Allow the other party to respond completely.  Do not allow yourself to get sucked into the blame game.


Do you think this will really work?  I sure do and now I am really looking forward to the next conflict!  I love having an action plan!!


How To Handle Conflicts In Real Estate and In Life

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Warm Regards,

Bridget McGee  Maryland Mortgage Mama  NMLS# 196068  SWBC Mortgage.   410-960-2061 EHO or


If you are considering purchasing a home in Maryland and want to be sure you are mortgage ready, my brother Tony and I will be happy to help! We help to make the mortgage process a pleasure! 

If you already own your home, we are happy to provide a no-cost mortgage review to help you to determine if refinancing may be in your best interest.  Please contact me at 410-960-2061.


This entry hasn't been re-blogged:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
Real Estate Best Practices
All About Mortgages/Mortgage Networking
POSITIVE ATTITUDE for the Weary Soul
Maryland Real Estate and Mortgage Group
Greater Baltimore Board Of Realtors
maryland mortgage mama
maryland mortgage mama greater baltimore board of realtor
conflict resolution in real estate
creating an action plan for conflict
8 steps to conflict resolution
8 easy steps to resolve conflicts

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Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

With any conversation we need to be able to step back and watch, rather than getting sucked in and allowing our emotions/feelings to take control.When wecan learn to do that consistently and remain open life improves. I think these steps go a ways towards helping with that.

Jan 24, 2017 07:57 AM #1
Belinda Spillman
Aspen Lane Real Estate Colorful Colorado - Aurora, CO
Colorado Living!

I really like number 8.  Great list of responses to keep in mind.

Jan 24, 2017 08:14 AM #2
Anna Banana Kruchten CRB, GRI, WLS
Phoenix Property Shoppe - Phoenix, AZ

B ridget that's similiar to a technique I learned way back in college in an Effective Listening Course.  A little 'staged' in the wording but if folks make it their own lanquage it works out better. My 2 cents!

Jan 24, 2017 08:26 AM #3
Carol Williams
Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals. - Wenatchee, WA
Retired Agent / Broker / Property Manager

Good morning, Bridget. Excellent subject.  Conflict, on various levels, is all around us... every day.   Resolving conflict is about making the other person feel heard and respected.... and tactfully explaining your position and how you came to those conclusions.  And, being open to discussion.  

Jan 24, 2017 08:27 AM #4
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Bridget "Mortgage Mama" McGee

Maryland Mortgage Mama NMLS#196068
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