No Calling Out Of Respect...

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Daytona Condo Realty, 386-405-4408

Time from time I run into blog posts discussing calling other AR members. General consensus is that this is the best thing after sliced bread. I read one post today. For the author the question was who to call.

For me the question was why to call?

There has to be a compelling reason why one member of AR calls another member. In so many posts why is not a concern. Often times it is simply about numbers, i.e. how many members to call. Perceived virtue is in consistency.

Consistency of what?

If there is no love and affection, why call? But do you plan love and affection?

Do you really want all your virtual friends become your real friends? Do you want to know whether their husbands snore at night? Or other stuff that friends know about each other?

How many of you would be scared at a prospect of spending 45 minutes on the phone? For what? To find out that there is something common between two of you?

Wouldn’t it affect your day? Would you be skipping the incoming calls, or apologize every couple of minutes and switch between the lines to answer calls? I am by far not the busiest real estate guy, but even for me 45 minutes would be something I would need to plan and schedule.

Is it kosher to call other members without any invitation?

Why call? So that I know whether their husbands snore? But I do not want to know it. And I do not want my virtual friends know the same stuff about me.

Virtual community is very different from voice-to-voice or face-to-face. In virtual communities the communication is controlled and limited. To the subject, to the rules, to groups, etc. We decide what we want others to know about us. Calls are entirely different animals.

Imagine you are commenting on someone’s post in pajamas in the comfort of your home, and suddenly the blog post’s author is knocking on your door. Would you be ecstatic?

Friendships happen. Not often, but they happen. It is more like a miracle.

Do you plan and schedule miracles?

How many people are there on AR that you absolutely have to call? To tell them that they did something great, that you admire them, or to offer support? Think hard. Probably that would be the only people you need to call.

Even if AR institues points for calling other members, please, don't. Respect other members' privacy and time.

I know that this is against the grain, but think about it… is it really?

Image by rầm Thủy Tiên via FLickr.com/creativecommons

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Jon Zolsky, Daytona Beach, FL
Daytona Condo Realty, 386-405-4408 - Daytona Beach, FL
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I just figured out that there is a challenge, so this was the reason I ran into a few blogs about the same thing.

I thought people just get crazy ideas individually, and I was wrong. Which does not really change anything abut the idea itself. So strange AR would do a challenge like that...

Jan 26, 2017 09:33 PM #1
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Dick Greenberg
New Paradigm Partners LLC - Fort Collins, CO
Northern Colorado Residential Real Estate

Hi Jon - When I read someone's posts consistently and get a feel for who they are - which peeks through anyhow behind the curtain we all erect for on-line - sometimes I get a sense that would be a person I'd like to get to know. And often, the telephone is the only way to pursue that. I do have a strong feeling that I'd really like to sit down with you and talk over an adult beverage or two - but I'm not a great talker on the phone anyhow. It's a bit awkward compared to real life. If I'm ever out your way, though, I'll buy.

Jan 27, 2017 02:12 PM #2
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Jon Zolsky, Daytona Beach, FL
Daytona Condo Realty, 386-405-4408 - Daytona Beach, FL
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Dick Greenberg - exactly what I thought. And when I was writing, I thought about you, and I was hesitant, I knew that there are people like you who I would love to meet, so I was sort of contradicting myself. There is a dichotomy there... but it felt like people change it into a routine. And it is do not feel right to me.

It is unlikely for me to call, but I would love to sit and talk. Then there is no awkwardness, it is for me very natural and easy. Phones - not so much.

Jan 28, 2017 07:46 AM #3
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Denise Hamlin, Broker/Owner
Cardinal Realty ~ 319-400-0268 - Iowa City, IA
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Really, it's a challenge? Glad I missed that one. I have been known to call an AR Member. But it's definitely not something I could do at the drop of a hat to fulfill a challenge. 

As for your observations. I don't think real relationships develop through random calls. They are more complex than that. Mine are thriving just fine online anyway - without the need to translate that into a call. Plus, I don't even talk on the phone with my sons, (we text), why would I want to call random people on AR, who may or may not be happy to hear from me?

Jan 28, 2017 11:46 AM #4
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Jon Zolsky, Daytona Beach, FL
Daytona Condo Realty, 386-405-4408 - Daytona Beach, FL
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Denise Hamlin, Broker/Owner - it was a big surprise to me. When I wrote "Even if AR institues points for calling other members, please, don't.",
I did not know that AR was actually offering points for blogs about just that, disrupting someone's day with unsolicited call.

I don't get it

Jan 28, 2017 06:08 PM #5
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Debe Maxwell, CRS
www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
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Hi Papa Jon!  Well, we had a full month to complete the task and I will say that had I not met you in person, you would have been one that I would have called!  I love your posts, your humor, your directness and feel like, had we not known this already, we would have been fast friends!  (Note: You couldn't phone someone you had previously met or spoken to by phone.)

That said, it is an interruption in one's day to do this but, I did leave a message for mine to phone me back at her leisure.  She did and it was certainly great to put a voice with the words she writes.  I found that we have a LOT of parallels in life and it was great just chatting for a few minutes with her.  

For some, it may be horribly uncomfortable...then again, it took me nearly a year to ever write my first comment here in the Rain!  I was painfully shy (online) and couldn't bare the thought of putting myself 'out there!'  So, the challenge to make a call once a year to a member could help someone get over their shyness when it comes to picking up to phone!  

Feb 01, 2017 03:20 PM #6
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Jon Zolsky, Daytona Beach, FL
Daytona Condo Realty, 386-405-4408 - Daytona Beach, FL
Buy Daytona condos for heavenly good prices

Debe Maxwell - of course, I did not have a clue about the rules in this challenge; I missed the announcement, and after running into couple of "singing" posts I should have figured it out, but I didn't. So, it got funny from that point.

I guess I have to be grateful that I did not live in the times of inquisition, as I have a contradicting gene somethere in my DNA and if I can bite something, I often do. Or this is my old country upbringing shows?

When we came to the country and Inna started her studies in colege, she once came and mentioned that she had a task to write why TV was bad.

I told her that I would have written why TV was actually good and ... and she looked at me and said that I was an old fool. The task was to write why it was bad, not why it was good... She was right.

Now I think that if she would come and say that the task was to write how good TV was for people, I would have probably jumped and told her that I would write something very opposite.

That's me, an old fool :)

Feb 01, 2017 08:25 PM #7
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Debe Maxwell, CRS
www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
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LOL Jon Zolsky, Daytona Beach, FL!  Back then, I would probably have agree with you and I KNOW I agree with you now about TV - if it's "news," it's hard to watch!  What's worse, it's difficult to decipher the truth/news as opposed to commentary.  You're not an old fool - you're not a follower and everyone admires that about you!  

Feb 01, 2017 09:53 PM #8
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Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
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OK Jon Zolsky, Daytona Beach, FL  I will surely put you on my DNC list...although I thought we had a good conversation some time back.

Feb 03, 2017 07:39 PM #9
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Inna Ivchenko
Barcode Properties - Encino, CA
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Well, you do not have to, but why not? 

I talked to a few members via motivation of AR contests and we still keep in touch. 

Why not to call if you can?:)

Feb 03, 2017 10:47 PM #10
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Inna Ivchenko
Barcode Properties - Encino, CA
Realtor® • Green • GRI • HAFA • PSC Calabasas CA

I also like reaching out to members of other social networks. Sometime i receive calls, nothing special but 20 minutes conversation does help to learn more about the person than years of online connection. 

Feb 03, 2017 10:49 PM #11
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Jon Zolsky, Daytona Beach, FL
Daytona Condo Realty, 386-405-4408 - Daytona Beach, FL
Buy Daytona condos for heavenly good prices

Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland - the last thing I had in mind was to offend.

I guess we are all very different. Certain things are organic to some and not natural to others. I do not think that it is generally a good idea to push people into what is not organic to them.

I remember a businessman, who would make frineds with everyone in a huge elevator cabin while going to the 24th floor. It was his nature. He did not learn the speech, he was not trying to get any business or promote himself. He was very genuine.

When I read about it, I am not sure this is always the case. And when there is a challenge like this on AR, which is a virtual platform, it sounds a bit weird.

For example, there are people on AR, who compile a list of good blogs. Not featured, but worth reading. Two or 3 of those. And this is probably fine. Now imagine that we have a challenge and everyone is awarded points for doing that. And many would do it for points. What is the difference here?

As for a phone converstaion we had in 2014, you be the judge of it. I was, probably, very confused at this time. I remember the call, have no memory of what I was saying. Not sure it was even coherent... :)

Feb 04, 2017 07:13 AM #12
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Jon Zolsky, Daytona Beach, FL
Daytona Condo Realty, 386-405-4408 - Daytona Beach, FL
Buy Daytona condos for heavenly good prices

Inna Ivchenko - because I can write. And I believe this was the intent and the design of AR. It is a virtual community. I absolutely do not feel that I am missing something.I am quite content with what I get on AR in the format natural and organic for AR. Calling, meet-ups are outside of AR. I can understand that people might venture there, but I do not feel this urge.

Feb 04, 2017 07:16 AM #13
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Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
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Jon Zolsky, Daytona Beach, FL For me the phone is comfortable and such a natural thing to do...more so than writing. My radio show is like talking on the phone. I enjoyed reaching out to you back in 2014 hearing you were doing well. Even thaough we have never met...It makes me feel like I know you a bit better when I read your blog posts. Continue doing what is comfortable for you. I, for one, am very glad you are a big part of ActiveRain and enjoy your participation.

Feb 04, 2017 07:21 PM #14
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Jon Zolsky, Daytona Beach, FL
Daytona Condo Realty, 386-405-4408 - Daytona Beach, FL
Buy Daytona condos for heavenly good prices

Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland - thank you. You took a stone of my chest. The last thing I wanted was to offend you. I am glad to see that your heart is bigger than that. Interesting note about your rasio program. I did not think about it, but it adds some perspective to the discussion.

Feb 05, 2017 08:22 AM #15
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Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

Thanks Jon Zolsky, Daytona Beach, FL What I love about this platform...if we have a difference..we can express it...even write our own post.

Feb 05, 2017 08:59 AM #16
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