Learning To Say No......Damn It's Hard

Real Estate Agent with Long & Foster Real Estate, Inc., Annapolis MD 21403 DRE# 319853

Learning To Say No......Damn It's Hard


Learning to say noI love to learn and my thirst for knowledge on real estate, especially in books, and how to sell it best, better , the best,  really has shown in the past 25 years. I must have 50 some books, 5 different sytems from the top coaches out there and tons of other stuff too.

Over the years I have instituted this little nugget and that little nugget, became a top producer and was happy with my choices, my learning and my career. But now......

But now I want to dispose of all this stuff I have. Looking through it I realize just how swiftly the whole business of working real estate has changed. Wow, is that really how we used to do it? Processes have changed faster than the speed of light which makes all this stuff sitting here in front of me really old and outdated. And that brings me back to learning to say no and how hard it is.

I have started saying no. Since the first of the year I have said no to at least a dozen phone calls. I have said no to countless webinars and speaker events. I have started saying no to all of them. And I have even had to hang up on a few just because they would not take no for an answer. But those were feel good hang ups anyway because I never bought from that kind of salesmemnship ever.

But it has been hard. That thirst for knowledge and knowing is still boiling inside of me. I want to go to that convention where my favorite speaker is and I want to make sure I am not missing the latest best things to make my clients happy, Help, they are calling my name!!




I think I have it whipped now. I have not bought anything new this year except the book 'YOU are a BADASS'. Hmmmm I wonder if that is like putting 1 and 1 together =


Learning To Say No.... Damn It's Hard



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About the Author Martha Brown- As a third generation Annapolitan I love to write about my experiences in and out of the real estate market. Licensed since 1992 all with Long & Foster I am a Certified Residential Specialist (CRS) and a Seller Representation Specialist (SRS) whose passion is homes in the Annapolis MD area and surrounding communities. My goal is to help my clients understand the real estate market and to then make sound real estate decisions. 


Martha can be reached  at 410-260-2800 ofc or 


When searching for Annapolis area homes for sale

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Have a real estate question?? 

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Martha Brown of Long & Foster Real Estate.

320 Sixth Street

Annapolis, MD 21403

410-260-2800 office

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Comments (33)

Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Happily Retired - Franklin, MA
Previously Affiliated with The Todaro Team

Good morning, Martha Brown saying "no" becomes easy after you say it enough....and I have said NO to listings in the past.... we need to make good business decisions...we cannot participate in everything nor can we list property just because it's available to be listed...it needs to make sense...

Mar 21, 2017 08:47 AM
Martha Brown

I never participated in everything but I did buy lots of books as I am a ferocious reader. Focusing differently now as you well know.

Mar 21, 2017 05:10 PM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate Services

Martha, In your heart and gut you likely know that you are not missing anything. 99% of what is being sold is rinse and repeat. Most of the bells and whistles being sold ... we just don't need them.  No is the biggest little word I know ... and I love using it.  

Mar 21, 2017 08:59 AM
Martha Brown

Everything I bought over the years I considered my textbooks. Seeing them now shows a journey I have been on. I still love to learn, however my focus has changed to a different side of life. Saying no is way easier and way nicer for my life right now.

Mar 21, 2017 05:08 PM
Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

Martha - You hit on something I've experienced too!  I acquired a large number of books and cassettes (remember those), related to our profession.  And, you are right, so many are outdated and don't have relevance to the realm we now exist in.  Yet, there are a few that have tidbits that allow you to believe that everything old can become new again!

Mar 21, 2017 12:58 PM
Martha Brown

You understand precisely Myrl. My kindred soul.

Mar 21, 2017 04:58 PM
Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

CONGRATULATIONS Martha, on having this blog FEATURED in the Old Farts Club group!    

Mar 21, 2017 12:58 PM
Martha Brown

Thank you.

Mar 21, 2017 04:59 PM
Jill Sackler
Charles Rutenberg Realty Inc. 516-575-7500 - Long Beach, NY
LI South Shore Real Estate - Broker Associate

I agree with you that at this point, you've no doubt built a strong foundation. There comes a time when we no longer need to listen to every last webinar.

Mar 21, 2017 01:21 PM
Martha Brown

Yes this is true. I will always have my non-negotiables and the rest can pass me by.

Mar 21, 2017 05:02 PM
Sam Shueh
(408) 425-1601 - San Jose, CA
mba, cdpe, reopro, pe

Frankly I have never bought or invest in any books on real estate or investment strategy.  Classroom vs actualy are very different.  

People skills is something someone has or do not have.

Mar 21, 2017 04:12 PM
Martha Brown

I disagree but we all go about working our profession as we see fit.

Mar 21, 2017 05:00 PM
Chuck Willman
Chuck Willman - Alpine, UT

Both partie in the "no" benefit. The agent doesn't need to take on the venture while the potential client can work with someone more suitable for the task.

Mar 21, 2017 05:25 PM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

Hi Martha- it is hard learning to say "no" but it definitely can be rewarding.  

Mar 21, 2017 05:39 PM
Sham Reddy CRS
Howard Hanna RE Services, Dayton, OH - Dayton, OH

Thanks for sharing!!!

I want to go to that convention where my favorite speaker is and I want to make sure I am not missing the latest best things to make my clients happy, Help, they are calling my name

Mar 21, 2017 06:23 PM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices California Properties - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

The only time I say no is if I know we will not be a good fit and you do not know how to take good advice...I have gates you have to cross before I decide to work with you as a buyer's or seller's agent....Endre

Mar 21, 2017 07:37 PM
Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker/REALTOR® - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

It IS hard to say no! And now I feel as though I have to say "yes" and buy "You are a badass!" on the title alone.

Mar 22, 2017 03:19 AM
Stavrula "Sam" Crafa, RNC,GRI, CDPE, PSA
Future Home Realty - Seminole, FL
Providing the integrity and service you deserve.

You can get overwhelmed with all the learning oportunites that come your way. If you participate at all, you need to be particular about what you attend. Good information but there is no magic pill. Build relationships and you don't need the gagets and other stuff that many promote. 

Mar 22, 2017 06:41 AM
John Wiley
Fort Myers, FL
Lee County, FL, ECO Broker, GRI, SRES,GREEN,PSA

When I set goals and develop a strategy I find it easier to say no.

I test the sales pitch against my goal and strategy and if it does not line up I tell the caller no.

Mar 22, 2017 10:44 AM
Mary Hutchison, SRES, ABR
Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate-Kansas City Homes - Kansas City, MO
Experienced Agent in Kansas City Metro area

It is an important lesson to learn--say no! I find it's esp difficult for women--tyring to really teach my girls about this topic

Mar 22, 2017 02:38 PM
Michele Connors
The Overton Group, LLC Pitt & Carteret County - Greenville, NC
Your Eastern North Carolina Realtor

Saying no is a way of saying..... Im worthy of free time, me time, freedom to choose, not getting involved, not being overloaded, not wasting time, navigating my own life, worth more and on and on !  For me it is empowering !  

Mar 22, 2017 02:44 PM
Jim Paulson
Progressive Realty (Boise Idaho) www.Progressive-Realty.info - Boise, ID

But how are you ever going to end up on the "First page of Google" without listening to the dozen calls per week promising to get you there? LOL

I will continue to go to NAR, CRS & NAHB conferences if they are in a fun location so I can write of a good trip while I network.

Mar 22, 2017 03:14 PM
Dorte Engel
RE/MAX Leading Edge - Bowie, MD
ABC - Annapolis, Bowie, Crofton & rest of Maryland

Dear Martha,

So glad you are trying this. You will get used to it. No more excuses not to do your morning meditation instead.

Mar 22, 2017 09:52 PM
Vickie Teel
RE/MAX PALM REALTY - Port Charlotte, FL
Sharing Florida sunshine one homeowner at a time!

Martha Brown congrats on the feature!  

Mar 23, 2017 03:58 AM
Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty
Bucci Realty, Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Eighteen Years Experience in Brevard County

Someone is always willing to sell you a better mousetrap but one day you will be out of the mouse collecting business...what then?

Mar 23, 2017 06:42 AM
Rob Spinosa
US Bank - Larkspur, CA
Mortgage Loan Originator, Marin County

I use telemarketing calls (Really?  My home qualifies for solar???) to help hone the skill.  I do realize that there is a person, and possibly even an opportunity, on the other end of the line.  But I try to be professional and decline in a manner that I would also take the right way.  It's necessary to learn to say "no" in business and personal life otherwise your time for the things that really matter is eroded.  

Mar 23, 2017 06:48 AM