The Fertile Soil of Failure?

Real Estate Agent with Big Block Realty 858.232.8722 CA BRE# 01261476


The Fertile Soil of Your Business.

The Fertile Soil of Your Mind.

The Fertile Soil That Failing Forward Can Gift You...


fertile soil of failures


I recently interviewed Buffini & Company 's CEO, Dermot Buffini on my co-hosted Mail-Right Real Estate Agent Podcast. Dermot (self proclaimed "student of the game") and I covered a lot of fertile ground and topics. But, one of the most poignant moments for me personally is when I asked him about overcoming set backs. The mindset and methodology of staying the course and being OK with the journey getting off course, yet the direction remaining True North to your goal. The straight line of the journey becoming a squiggly line being OK, as long as you end up at your goal.

Having a propensity to not quit is a big part of this concept. As Dermot said, "It may be a recipe of denial, delusion and a lot of faith in tomorrow." But, then he said something very profound. Dermot said, "When you have a setback, take your time with it. NOT dwell on it, but take the time to learn from the experience." he continued "See, you are either winning or learning".

 "When you have a setback, when life happens, have a pen and paper ready and journal on what happened, your role in it, how you are feeling about it, what did you want to happen and what could you have done differently?"

He went on to say quite profoundly, "These moments in your life are rich soil for learning and growth." Ask yourself (and journal):

What did I do?

What was my role in this?

What did I want to happen?

What did I worry about?

What's going on?

How did they respond?

How did I feel?

What actually took place?


It's a healthier way to deal with setbacks. It's a great opportunity to learn about yourself and by using your journal, over time, you begin to see the patterns, how you felt last time, is there a bad pattern in there or are you disrupting the patterns? Are these new problems or "the same old same old" and maybe it's time to get a mentor or a coach? Don't go it alone.


 "You are either winning or learning"- Dermot Buffini

fertile soil of failures


Dermot reminds us it's not  "if"  we're going to have a setback, it's not "if"  there's going to be a set back. It's not  "if"  the conversation will go wrong, it's not  "if"  the deal will go sideways, etc.'s when.



When leading others, when dealing with others, it's important to acknowledge what occurred between you and move forward from it.

You need to be connected to how others feel about what happened, such as your sales team or family if you went through a setback together.

What did we learn from this?

What can we do better from this experience?

Or celebrate the fact that you realized "this is not what we're supposed to be doing" and regroup, set the course under a new "flight-plan" with the education the failure provided. Failure is OK if you fail forward.


Your brain is the most powerful muscle in your body and it's either taking you places positively or taking over your world negatively. If it's an over inflated opinion about who you are or under inflated and selling yourself short, it can be disastrous. You have to keep balancing it with healthy purpose, people and information (i.e. feedback from the failure).


When you ask yourself, "What's my part in this?"

You do not truly learn from the experience if you brush it off-ignore it and move on, you need to reflect on it. Especially if there's a consistency to your problems, setbacks and failures, that common denominator being you. If you are the problem, what needs to change in order to rise above this issue next time? Again, don't go it alone, seek help from a trusted adviser, mentor or coach. Many have gone before you, seek their wisdom, as I sought Dermot's.


dermot buffini


Here the interview (or watch it here).

This link provide you with both the Itunes Audio

or the Youtube video of the conversation.

Podcast Episode 89: BOOM! CEO Dermot Buffini of Buffini and Company!

A big thank you to Dermot Buffini for his gracious gift of time and wisdom!

Image 1 courtesy of amenic181 at

Image 2 courtesy of Sira Anamwong at


Posted by

REALTOR®, CRS, RCS-D, CDPE, ePro, Certified:Military Home Specialist,

Certified: Luxury Home Specialist Podcast Host, Author & Keynote Speaker


Brokered by Big Block Realty

Do You Know The Market Says Your Home is Worth?

CA-BRE# 01261476, since 1999  (My Team)

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Disclaimer:  Nothing in this blog article is to be construed as legal advice, tax advice, medical advice or financial advice.  For legal advice see an attorney.   For tax advice, health or financial advice see a tax attorney, certified public accountant, or other qualified professional.

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Sham Reddy CRS
H E R Realty, Dayton, OH - Dayton, OH

Thanks for sharing!!!

When leading others, when dealing with others, it's important to acknowledge what occurred between you and move forward from it.

Mar 31, 2017 05:31 AM #1
Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR
Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate

Good morning Thomas J. Nelson, Realtor, CRS ,

What a great share! I love the statement "Failure is OK if you fail forward!" That says it all.

Mar 31, 2017 05:35 AM #2
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good morning Thomas. Failure can indeed be fertile soil if one possesses the right attitude towards it! Enjoy your day!

Mar 31, 2017 05:47 AM #3
Elva Branson-Lee
Solid Source Realty GA - Atlanta, GA
CDPE - Atlanta Real Estate & Short Sale Agent

"Winning or learning." That's the mindset we need for any great endeavor. Thanks, Thomas.

Mar 31, 2017 05:51 AM #4
Kristin Johnston - REALTOR®
RE/MAX Realty Center - Waukesha, WI
Giving Back With Each Home Sold!

Great information....I hope you have a wonderful weekend as well!

Mar 31, 2017 06:26 AM #5
Sandy Padula and Norm Padula, JD, GRI
HomeSmart Realty West & Geneva Financial, Llc. - Carlsbad, CA
Presence, Persistence & Perseverance

Certainly Demot's failure analysis concept is the right one successful people adopt rather than wallow in misery. Thanks for the reinforcement!

Mar 31, 2017 06:42 AM #6
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Good Morning Thoma - you need to have that compas pointing true north.  Those are your written goals.

Mar 31, 2017 06:53 AM #7
Hella Mitschke Rothwell
(831) 626-4000 - Honolulu, HI
Hawaii & California Real Estate Broker

This is spot on in our profession. So many scenarios can play out and it's healthy and educational for us to critique our performances. I came across a file from last year that was a major learning experience, but it's in the past and I was surprised that I hadn't even thought about it for months even though the knowledge has certainly stayed with me.

Mar 31, 2017 07:10 AM #8
Anna Hatridge
Goodson Realty - Farmington, MO
Missouri Realtor with Goodson Realty

Having a propensity to not quit is the goal of my entire life!  I've been teased, touted as a bull dog and even told I will hang on to the end;  In the end I feel like I am always moving forward and growing every day.  

Apr 01, 2017 08:41 AM #9
Gene Mundt, IL/WI Mortgage Originator - FHA/VA/Conv/Jumbo/Portfolio/Refi
NMLS #216987, IL Lic. 031.0006220, WI Licensed. APMC NMLS #175656 - New Lenox, IL
708.921.6331 - 40+ yrs experience

With real estate and lending, it's near impossible to bat  "a thousand".  Some deals just won't make it to fruition.  So your post and message is particularly important for those of us in this industry to read and consider, Thomas J. Nelson, Realtor, CRS ...  hoping the Bananatude "feature" boost helps many ...



                                     CONGRATULATIONS!    WELL DONE!

                              YOU'VE BEEN FEATURED IN BANANATUDE!



Apr 01, 2017 12:28 PM #10
Debbie Reynolds
Platinum Properties - Clarksville, TN
Your Dedicated Clarksville TN Real Estate Agent

I just finished negotiations on a tough sale after 7 days of back and forth. We agents should never give up until there is absolutely no life left in it and no chance for it to be resurrected.

Apr 01, 2017 05:54 PM #11
Lou Ludwig
Ludwig & Associates - Boca Raton, FL
Designations Earned CRB, CRS, CIPS, GRI, SRES, TRC


A failure is the stepping stone to the next opportunity.

Good luck and success.

Lou Ludwig

Apr 01, 2017 07:12 PM #12
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Thomas this is such a power post too bad you posted this on the weekend, when the AR feature ferries are "off duty", if there is a message here that applies to all this is the post....Welcome to' the awesome post group that got missed a gold star', Endre

Apr 01, 2017 09:10 PM #13
Gabe Sanders
Real Estate of Florida specializing in Martin County Residential Homes, Condos and Land Sales - Stuart, FL
Stuart Florida Real Estate

Thanks Thomas.  Some great thoughts presented here that we can all learn from.

Apr 07, 2017 04:08 AM #14
Lottie Kendall
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Helping make your real estate dreams a reality

Hi Thomas - very profound with food for thought. 

Apr 08, 2017 09:27 AM #15
Praful Thakkar
LAER Realty Partners - Andover, MA
Andover, MA: Andover Luxury Homes For Sale

Thomas J. Nelson, Realtor, CRS - Well, when Dermot speaks, he is full of energy!

(Need to listen to this podcast for sure - and I do remember Brian's 'Setback is a set up for comeback!)

Apr 08, 2017 11:09 PM #16
Kat Palmiotti
Grand Lux Realty, Monroe NY, 914-419-0270, - Monroe, NY
The House Kat

If you're not failing, you're not doing anything new/different/growth related. When we have a setback or failure, it's a great time to learn. I totally agree. Thanks for sharing.

Apr 09, 2017 05:11 AM #17
Jeff Dowler, CRS
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Thomas

Thank you for sharing this very powerful post with us. Wow, something to really think about! Bookmarked to read again and again. Dermot is a very wise man!


Apr 09, 2017 02:10 PM #18
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