An unComprehensive Compilation of Client Complaints...

Real Estate Agent with Coldwell Banker Residential

Not enough showings * No offers * Someone left lights on * Did someone use the toilet? * The back door was left open * The pictures on my refrigerator were moved * The cat seems traumatized * I can see footprints in my carpeting * There are smudges on my storm door * They arrived four minutes early * The lockbox was left open * There have been too many showings, it's annoying * The buyers didn't even stay a whole five minutes. * I don't want to see any lowball offers * They didn't flush the toilet * They double-locked the front door * The garage door was left wide open * Bathroom fan was left on * They arrived nine minutes late * Someone sat on our bed * People keep knocking on my door * The "for sale" sign is crooked * The brochure box is empty * The front door was left unlocked * No open house this weekend, it's going to be overcast * You don't respond to my midnight texts * Someone moved my Hummel® figurines * The living room blinds were left open * Someone tracked mud on my carpet * The buyers stayed soooo long. * Why haven't YOU brought any buyers through? * We're priced too high * Not enough open houses * No showings before 10:00 in the morning * Interior doors were left open * Someone locked the walk-in garage door and that's how I get into the house * The lockbox is ugly * You call me too often * Your photos aren't doing their job * No showings on the weekends * Your "descriptive text" in the MLS is what's keeping us from finding a buyer * I think someone was smoking in our house * Don't have people ring the bell... it upsets the dog * I think someone flushed our toilet * The brochure box is too full * Someone went through my drawers * I think the buyers came without an agent * Buyers arrived unannounced without an agent * I left all the bedroom doors closed, and they were all left open when I came home * There's a strange smell * Someone drank one of our Cokes, from the fridge * We're priced too low * Why don't we have an offer, yet? * The "for sale" sign isn't visible from where you placed it... can you move it to the other side of the yard? * The lockbox is in the way... can you move it to the back door? * Someone changed the settings on my cable box * My stamp collection is missing * You don't call me often enough * The order of your photos is wrong * No showings after five o'clock * Someone left a cigarette butt in my rose bed * I need four-hour notice for all showings * Two other houses on our block have sold, and mine is still sitting here... and my house is nicer! * We can't have the open house this weekend.. it's going to rain. * We need to  retake all the photos, 'cause we moved the furniture * Can you come over tonight around ten o'clock to discuss why we haven't sold? * The lockbox is too grey * I'm not going to give it away! *  Please don't wear any cologne while showing my house... I think the cat is allergic * The "for sale" sign is too straight. * I don't like the colour of the brochures *

Posted by

 ALAN MAY, Realtor®   
Specializing in Evanston Real Estate and North Shore Real Estate

Coldwell Banker Residential Real Estate, 1710 Central Street, Evanston, IL 60201
847.425.3779      Cell: 847.924.3313      Email:

Evanston Real Estate & North Shore Real Estate
Licensed in Illinois



Re-Blogged 1 time:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
Real Estate Industry
Diary of a Realtor
Midwest Rainers
Bartender, Make it a Double

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Kat Palmiotti
Grand Lux Realty, 914-419-0270, - Monroe, NY
The House Kat

This is funny because it's so true! I've heard quite a few of these myself....

And these go to prove there are times we simply cannot do it right, no matter what!

Jun 23, 2017 03:38 AM #26
Dorie Dillard
Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.346.1799 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate

Good evening Alan May ,

I'm so glad to see this post featured!! You can't make this stuff up....Really got me laughing..definitely are the joys of a listing agent working with sellers! LOL!!

Jun 23, 2017 04:02 AM #27
Thomas McCombs
Century 21 HomeStar - Akron, OH

I personally have never heard any of those complaints.
Yeah, right! 😂
That's a pretty good list!

Jun 23, 2017 04:03 AM #28
Nathan Gesner
American West Realty & Management - Cody, WY
Broker / Property Manager

Nice! Thanks for taking the time to put this together for our entertainment!

Jun 23, 2017 05:01 AM #29
Gordon Crawford
Gordon Crawford Home Selling Team - Morristown, NJ
Your Morris County Specialist!

Too Funny Alan!  Every time you think you've heard them all, another one pops up.  How do we all stay sane!  Thanks for the laugh.

Jun 23, 2017 05:04 AM #30
Tony and Suzanne Marriott, Associate Brokers
BVO Luxury Group @ Keller Williams Arizona Realty - Scottsdale, AZ
Serving Scottsdale, Phoenix and Maricopa County AZ

Alan May "...* I don't want to see any lowball offers * You don't respond to my midnight texts  * Why haven't YOU brought any buyers through? * Why don't we have an offer, yet?..."

and much more!

Right on target - and - re-blog!

Jun 23, 2017 05:33 AM #31
Nina Hollander
RE/MAX Executive | Charlotte, NC - Charlotte, NC
Your Charlotte/Ballantyne/Waxhaw/Fort Mill Realtor

HI Alan... I think my head is spinning! I love the one about too many showings being annoying! Crikey!

Jun 23, 2017 07:02 AM #32
Richard Bazinet /MBA, CRS, ABR
AZuRE Team - Realty ONE Group - Scottsdale, AZ
Phoenix Scottsdale. Sellers, Buyers & Relocations

Ha, Ha Alan, I guess you heard them all! Lets see if we can add to the list. My favorite: I'm not going to give it away. My response: that means your house your be free.

Jun 23, 2017 07:18 AM #33
Mel Ahrens, MBA, Kelly Right Real Estate
Kelly Right Real Estate - Hood River, OR
Customized Choices for your Real Estate Needs

Such a short list!  Did you get tired typing?



Jun 23, 2017 07:59 AM #36
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
your real estate writer

Thanks for the laugh - and for more proof that human beings really are ridiculous.

Jun 23, 2017 08:33 AM #37
Kathleen Daniels
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
San Jose Homes for Sale-Probate & Trust Specialist

Alan, No holding back.  Why would we - our clients sure don't.  I recently had a client want a 10pm conference call.  I explained that I am sleeping at that time and would be unable to have a coherent discussion ... and offered a 4:30am call if that would work for them. 

Jun 23, 2017 08:38 AM #38
Matt Brady
Skyline Home Loans - Del Mar, CA
Lending With Competence And Character

Thank you for the laugh this morning. I may have to put a compilation together for lending.

Jun 23, 2017 09:05 AM #39
Patrick Willard
Rio Rancho, NM

Best one I ever had was a seller called to tell me the wind blew the sign down and I needed to "Come right now and put it back up." I was already getting tired of them. They were a referral from their daughter who I helped buy her first home. She was great, her parents not so much. Priced way over my CMA (with a promise to lower if we had no traffic in first 2 weeks, which they reneged on). Wife constantly complaining, husband always telling me I didn't "advertise enough". Anyway, back to the sign. I told her that her husband could put it up when he came home, I wasn't driving over just to put it up. A couple hours later the husband calls, demands that I drive over immediately, put up the sign and apologise to his wife because apparently I disrespected her. I did drive over right away. I put the sign in my trunk, handed the seller a termination agreement and told him "Sign it, I quit."

Jun 23, 2017 01:57 PM #40
Eva B. Liland with Century 21 Doug Anderson
Century 21 Doug Anderson - Lancaster, CA
Glad to be of Service

And I thought I heard it all, appearantly not, lol.

Jun 23, 2017 03:47 PM #41
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

This post proves the point that land and its improvements do not cause problems but instead...people do. Every agent should be skilled in interpersonal contact and not just licensed to help sell & buy properties. Thank you Alan 

Jun 23, 2017 04:07 PM #42
Praful Thakkar
LAER Realty Partners - Andover, MA
Andover, MA: Andover Luxury Homes For Sale

This shows that you have been there, done that - enough of them Alan May...

(And you survived - way to go.....)

Jun 23, 2017 09:21 PM #43
Jan Green
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

Wow!  You're good.  Doubt I'd come up with half of those. Love it, "too many showings!"  LOL!

Jun 25, 2017 09:45 PM #44
Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

Uh Oh!  Alan May When did you have the time or opportunity to tap my phone?

Jun 27, 2017 07:18 PM #45
Stavrula "Sam" Crafa, RNC,GRI, CDPE, PSA
Future Home Realty - Seminole, FL
Providing the integrity and service you deserve.

This made me LOL! The sad but funny thing is, I've heard most of these. This was GREAT!

Jun 29, 2017 09:01 PM #46
Gary L. Waters, Broker Owner, Waters Realty of Brevard, LLC
Waters Realty of Brevard, LLC - Rockledge, FL
... a small office, delivering big service!

Great list. Should have them numbered and give to clients to make things more efficient, i.e., Had a number two today!

Jul 05, 2017 05:44 AM #47
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