Hello everyone-In the quest to get rid of more stuff so I can make sure I have the room for the necessities moving forward into the future I have been taking pics of old photos so I can eliminate a container but still have the pictures and the memories.
So today has been a trip down memory lane. It is hard thinking many of the people in the pictures are gone from here. Mom and I moved here 11 yrs ago the 26th of this month and in that period of time many relatives passed away. All of my Dad's family. He was the oldest of 5. My Mom was an only child and while some of her extended family is gone some are still alive. Goes to show life is about change.
As I transition from a life I have known to a life of more change I will do my best to forge ahead and make new memories and embrace whatever life has in store for me in this new path. The sad thing is Mom was just 2 yrs older than I am when Dad passed away after 42 yrs of marriage yet she didn't really do much after my Dad died.
I vowed that I would not just spend whatever time I have left in a rut not really living but existing. I remember sitting on the couch in her home after she had passed and thinking about all the time she spent on that couch in the 27 yrs she lived after Dad died and saying you made a choice to do that Mom but I will NOT do that.
Stepping into the unfamiliar is scary and I have thought more about that and for Mom what could have been is gone but for me I still hopefully have several years left to explore and take those steps into a more fulfilling and exciting life full of new experiences. I think the scarier thing is to get to the end of your life and not really lived life to the fullest. I do understand to a point of WHY Mom never did anything after Dad died even though she was free to do so.
She was too scared of the unfamiliar and she was still trapped in her mind and that is really sad. I remember her saying shortly after we moved here that she had been unhappy for a long time. God knows I tried over the years to make her happy but I believe you are as happy as you make up your mind to be.
I could choose to be unhappy about things that happened after Mom died or be unhappy that my body hurts everyday and there is no pain pill to lessen it but I have chosen instead to move forward past that one day at a time. The emotional is actually easier than the physical but I am determined to enjoy whatever time I have left and relish each new day with a sense of peace, serenity and make it FUN. It would be awful to think of being unhappy for a long time and not doing anything to change that if you could. We are the captain of our ship and we steer the boat towards the future. There is a song I heard quite a while back that is so true about life.
Now among the pictures,cards and letters today there was also this plaster of paris imprint of my hand when I was just 5 yrs old and I turned 61 last month so it has survived all my changes in life and moves. Letting go of the past and forging ahead and embracing life is my mantra as I write a new chapter with that 61 yr old hand.