Twas the night before Closing
'Twas the night before Signing, the LO a louse,
Not a charge was a missing, if they wanted that house;
The edocs were printed by the notary with care,
In hopes that St. Borrower soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
They knew not what debt would be laid on their heads;
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my role,
Had just settled down for some fees to extoll,
Then out on the table there arose such an objection,
The TIL total made a horrible projection.
I dialed the Save The Loan like a flash,
I knew no check if he didn’t get cash.
The moon was rising on the new-fallen snow,
There were many unsigned, a long way to go.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
Mr. Save the Loan, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a change to the HUD, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be a trick.
More rapid than eagles his changes they came,
As the borrower whistled, and shouted, and cursed him by name;
"Now, Escrow! Now, Taxes! Now, Fees and Commission!
On Mortgage! On Riders! But no Right of Recession;
To the top of the pile the ID did go!
Now Sign!, Sign!, Sign what you do not know!
As many before the pages did fly,
When payments are due, they mount to the sky,
And so with great speed the signing pen flew,
With the payments to come of which they not knew.
And then, at the Deed, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I stamped my commission, and was turning around,
Down the chimney the LO came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his toes to his ears,
The papers were signed, the borrower in tears;
A bundle of foreclosures he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a wolf about to attack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head forming an unlikely wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly LO,
And I laughed when I saw him, and knew my check was a NO;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had much to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
He grabbed the signed docs; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his BMW, to his chauffer gave a whistle,
And away they drove like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“I looked at the HUD it’s been a good-night."