Losing Control.....A Life Observation

Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams 414-525-0563 57026-90 Broker

   Whether you are a real estate agent or a lender, insurance  agent or  a lawyer you deal  with  the public  often who are in unpleasant situations not of  their  own making....and  certainly not of their  desire. They may have ....lost a job,  sad  personfound themselves unable to easily take care  of as much property as they have called home  for a lifetime,   have had health issues that alter  their  lifestyle, death or divorce, have had to relocate to find employment...life has a way of  throwing in interesting situations and we all choose how we adapt to them.   As professionals in a service industry,  we should be acutely aware of what a change can mean to someone when the choice has not been of our client's choosing.

    It has been our observation that often when "life happens" with these relocating incidents....people take control of other aspects of their life in which they may not have any expertise or experience...it is an exertion of "authority"Control showing that they can still make decisions...that they ARE in control.

    Sometimes one way to work with a person in this situation and ask advice and input on issues that they DO have control over....rather than dwell on those that have been "taken away". The decisions can be of a different or lesser nature ....but they are decisions all the same and give the person the "control" and with it, some of the self respect that they may have unknowingly lost in the  process of  life changing events.

Hats    We often talk about the "many hats" that people wear in a service industry.  Certainly Psychologist is one...and gently approaching change...looking forward to the future....new friends...new opportunities whatever they may be is the brighter focus and you can help to provide that reminding them of all those positive things that lie ahead.  Change is not something everyone welcomes.....we can make transitions easier by accentuating the positive.

        This has been a life lesson post from  Sally K.  & David L. Hanson, Broker Associates in southeastern Wisconsin with  Keller Williams  Realty.

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Sally K. & David L. Hanson, ABR, CDPE, CSS, e-Pro,ILHM, REDS

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Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Franklin, MA
"Franklin MA Homes"

Good morning, Sally K. & David L. Hanson having the ability and common sense to use the right psychology to not accentuate the negative but position the positive to the forefront of the conversation is a must for real estate agents....

Dec 14, 2017 03:02 AM #1
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Many hats is a good way to describe what most professionals deal with!

Dec 14, 2017 03:29 AM #2
James Dray
Fathom Realty AR LLC - Bentonville, AR
Exceptional Agents, Outstanding Results

Morning Sally.

Yeah like Barbara and Jay said.  Many, hats and so many ways of dealing with different people are just the norm in this business

Dec 14, 2017 03:48 AM #3
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker

Good morning Sally. Sometimes it is best to grin and bear it so people can vent and get back to reality. Enjoy your day!

Dec 14, 2017 04:30 AM #4
Gabe Sanders
Real Estate of Florida specializing in Martin County Residential Homes, Condos and Land Sales - Stuart, FL
Stuart Florida Real Estate

Good morning Sally and David.  Stuff happens and everyone reacts differently.  We need to do our best to help them deal with this stuff.

Dec 14, 2017 04:34 AM #5
Brian England
Arizona Focus Realty - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

It seems that no matter how well life is going for us, something will come along that we have to adjust to, we have to be willing to do so and move on.

Dec 14, 2017 05:06 AM #6
Nina Hollander
RE/MAX Executive | Charlotte, NC - Charlotte, NC
Your Charlotte/Ballantyne/Waxhaw/Fort Mill Realtor

Good morning, Sally and David... no doubt major crises in life that leave one feeling helpless cause us to look for things we think we can control to reduce that feeling of helplessness. It's human nature.

Dec 14, 2017 05:30 AM #7
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD
Roy and Dolores Kelley Photographs

Thank you very much for sharing your experience and your advice.

Dec 14, 2017 06:46 AM #8
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Sally and David,

Excellent life lesson.  Losing one's job is definitely traumatic.  It is important to lend an ear and give someone comfort and courage. A

Dec 14, 2017 07:41 AM #9
Sheila Anderson
Referral Group Incorporated - East Brunswick, NJ
The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133

Good morning again Sally. Your insights are always valuable and this one is especially accurate.

Dec 14, 2017 08:27 AM #10
George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

Sally and David I am not a fan of change, and I am even a lesser fan of others trying to make decisions for me, so I try to avoid making decisions for others.

My very first manager gave me a piece of advice I have never forgotten and try to follow.  He told me "George have enough respect for others to let them make their own decisions".

Dec 14, 2017 02:35 PM #11
1 ~Judi & Don Barrett & Chassy Eastep - Integrity
Integrity Real Estate Services 118 SE AVE N, Idabel, OK 74745 - Idabel, OK
BS Ed, Integrity Real Estate Services -IDABEL OK

The main cause of depression is feeling that a person has no control over their life.  Sometimes asking them to make decisions on matters that are fairly easy to handle seems to help them overcome depression so that they become able to deal with the bigger decisions. 

Dec 14, 2017 06:21 PM #12
Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®,CRS,
RE/MAX Professionals. - Tacoma, WA
Tacoma Washington Agent/Broker & Market Authority!

I sure do appreciate your life lesson posts and I always think we can learn from other people's perspectives Sally K. & David L. Hanson 

Dec 14, 2017 07:04 PM #13
Debe Maxwell, CRS
www.AtHomesCharlotte.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
Charlotte Homes for Sale - Charlotte Neighborhoods

Oh, yes, I call it my 'Shrink Hat' and I'm donning it in a relocation transaction right now, Hansons both! The control issue is exactly what I'm experiencing and just as you said, I've put the client in a position to make ALL of the decisions...with a little help from a friend!

Oftentimes, they do just need to be 'in control' and if you guide them to make the right decisions, they can also have the control that they feel they've lost.

Happy Friday!

Dec 15, 2017 05:09 AM #14
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Sally and David - your post shows that you have a great deal of emotional intellegence needed for relationship building.  Working with people on the things they do control will stabilize and rebuild confidence.

Dec 15, 2017 07:39 AM #15
Scott Godzyk
Godzyk Real Estate Services - Manchester, NH
One of Manchester NH's Leading Agents

It is always tough to face a customer who is facing hardship. Divorce, sickness, death or loss of a job bring people to me often looking for help. You are right that we have to know how to handle it and get results. It is not often easy. I have a divorce sale now that is ranking high on  the "hate" scale that is hurting the sale Sally K. & David L. Hanson 

Dec 15, 2017 09:11 AM #16
Paul McFadden
Paratex - Seattle, WA
Pest Control, Seattle, WA.

Thank you! So true. Most of the time a calming word can help tremendously.

Jan 12, 2018 03:21 PM #17
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