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Real Estate 101 - Handling Tough Situations Gracefully

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Austin Texas Homes, LLC 453249

Over the years of my real estate career, I have grown a thicker skin, as it were.  In some ways it has simply become easier to accept when things don't work out the way that I had hoped.  I once lost a $213,000 commission when my buyer was snagged for money laundering.  After that happened, I told my partners that any other deal that I happened to lose would be easier.  Considering that it has been seven years since that transaction, I can safely say that this has remained true.

Last year, my business partner Frank lost a sale when the lady that he was working with had a sister who insisted on representing her, despite the fact that she had absolutely no knowledge of the Austin area, and she lived many hours away.  The buyer felt bad, but blood is thicker than water, and she allowed her sister to help, and Frank's work and time were lost.

Rather than bicker or make her feel badly, Frank told her that he understood, and that he was sorry that he wouldn't be able to finish the transaction with her.  He was gracious, probably more gracious than I would have been under the circumstances.

Two days ago, he received a call from this client.

She said that she felt terrible about what happened, and she needs to sell her house now.  Since Frank had worked so hard on her behalf last year and since he was so nice when her sister forced her way into the transaction, we will soon be listing her home, which is worth about $550,000 now (a bit more than she paid for it).  Considering that the average home price here is just over $210,000, this is a great listing for us.  The $16,500 paycheck will heal a lot of wounds.

This made me think in a more general sense about how best to handle tough scenarios that present themselves, especially when they have the potential to make you angry.  Although you may have something happen that causes you to scream on the inside, if possible, remain calm and kind outwardly.  This has its rewards, believe me. 

When I first started in real estate, I used to allow my emotions to enter the picture in situations like this.  Rather than taking the polite, measured, calm response, I felt the need to get a jab or two in when I heard this type of bad news. 

Now, I can't say that I ALWAYS take it gracefully, but I sure do try.  There are times when it is simply not worth arguing (most of the time this is the case).  However, there are blatantly rude people, too, and they are perhaps the exception to my rule, because I might actually be relieved to see them go.

Occasionally, I will provide lots of information and assistance to someone who is looking to relocate, only to hear back later from them that they have chosen another agent.  My response?

"I'm sorry to hear about that.  Thanks for taking the time to call/email me.  Could you give me any pointers on what we could have done differently to earn your business?" 

Generally, there is no good response to this, but I really do want the information.  I always end the conversation with something like, "Let us know if things don't work out.  We will be here."  Every once in awhile, I do hear back from them, if the other agent drops the ball.

Being gracious in defeat has brought back many clients in my career.  I am sure that a bit of guilt is at play, since it likely has nothing to do with me or my level of service. 

BONUS TIP: One important lesson that I learned the hard way many years ago is to immediately offer to pay a referral fee to the relocation company if the buyer says something along these lines:

"I may have to use the company Realtor since they are paying my closing costs/move/etc." 

I now instruct the buyer to tell their HR person that we will pay the fee, which is generally 30-35% of the commission.  I actually got TWO corporate relocation accounts this way, which resulted in tens of millions of dollars of sales for us. 

Thanks for reading!

 

Posted by

 

If you're looking for a home in the Austin area, you can also visit my primary website at www.austintexashomes.com.  Thanks!

Benjamin Clark
Homebuyer Representation, Inc. - Salt Lake City, UT
Buyer's Agent - Certified Negotiation Expert

Congratulations on the corporate relocation accounts. Keep positive and keep focused and you'll do just fine. The "fair-weather" agents are finding other jobs and there will always be plenty of business for the professionals.

May 19, 2008 06:26 AM
Anonymous
Scott Wooters

Jason - very Professional advice. 

May 19, 2008 06:33 AM
#53
Bill Gillhespy
16 Sunview Blvd - Fort Myers Beach, FL
Fort Myers Beach Realtor, Fort Myers Beach Agent - Homes & Condos

Jason,  Seems to take some time for many of us to develop that kind,gracious attitude toward this kind of thing.  Nice post !

May 19, 2008 06:40 AM
Jeff&Grace Safrin
F.C.Tucker 1st Team Real Estate - Valparaiso, IN
SpousesSellingHousesTM

Jeff's Grandfather taught him to always ask the question : Sir, could you please share with me why I did not get your business...you'd be surprised at the wide variety of answers that you can LEARN from

and some - like in your example have said to us.... I have a relative who is a REALTOR and it may  cause WWIII in our family if I went with you 2 :)

Awesome post Jason

Sincerely,

Grace

p.s. apologize for the phone tag - we've been busy, but

Jeff emailed you today!

May 19, 2008 08:13 AM
Cameron Wilson
Labrum Real Estate - Murrieta, CA
The Short Guy - Murrieta,Temecula,Menifee Californ

Jason, Great advice and I too always ask what could I have done to earn their business and a couple of times they have referred someone else to me.

May 19, 2008 09:30 AM
Anonymous
Anonymous

Jason,

I onced worked with a couple that had trouble qualifying for a loan with more than one lender.  Finally after 4 months, I found them someone who would qualify them.  I emailed them homes in their price point, took them out to see the properties.  They got upset because the homes that they qualified for were not to their liking.  Now a days in the Metro ATL area, $100,000 does not get you a "brand new house".  It's more likely to be a foreclosure and needs some repairs.  They chose to go online and look at properties on their own, which is fine.  I didn't have that advantage when I was looking for my home years ago. Needless to say, instead of verbally expressing their concerns, they went behind my back, speaking with a "realtor friend" and wrote me a termination of agreement letter.  At first I felt bad.  I called and spoke with them, but I did not ask for another chance to work with them.  I did not beg.  I kindly expressed my point of view and let them go.  I knew that they did not have "strong buying power", but there was a chance that they could get a loan from a broker-lender.  I sent them a nice letter and that was the end.

They will never be able to say that I didn't try to help them get qualified when they were having trouble.  They can't say that I didn't gracefully bow out.

May 19, 2008 09:40 AM
#57
Eliese Pivarnik
Colorado Group Realty, LLC - Steamboat Springs, CO
CRS, GRI, ABR, RSPS, Colorado Group Realt

Nice post.  You prove that the high road is generally the better road.

May 19, 2008 01:32 PM
Barbara S. Duncan
RE/MAX Advantage - Searcy, AR
GRI, e-PRO, Executive Broker, Searcy AR

You sound like such a nice guy.  Don't know how anyone could turn you down!  Lovely photo!

May 19, 2008 01:37 PM
John Novak
Keller Williams Realty The Marketplace - Las Vegas, NV
Henderson, Las Vegas and Summerlin Real Estate

In a way, this comes down to your focus -- is it just on the one deal in front of you, or are you thinking of a long-term, successful career? You've given a great example of how clients can cross our paths more than once, and the same can be said for the agent on the other side of the transaction. How well we handle each encouter is an indicator of the degree of success and happiness we will have.

May 19, 2008 01:56 PM
Debra and Scott Brooks
Brooks Prime Properties, Lake Conroe - Conroe, TX
Lake Conroe Real Estate and Luxury Home Specialists!

Great post, Jason! Sunshine and rain. Day and night. Hot and cold. As commissioned sales people, we have to learn to take it all. The biggest lesson from all of it is how we let it affect us. Congrats on the Feature. -Scott

May 19, 2008 04:45 PM
Shannon Gilmore, CRS
Long and Foster Real Estate - Warrenton, VA
Real Estate Sales Associate with Long and Foster

great words of wisdom and although sometimes it's hard when everything is going to heck and a handbasket remember this too shall pass.   I love the comment to the referral companies great advice!

May 20, 2008 12:31 AM
Lisa Bosques
Burien, WA

I've tried to always follow this path with people.  It usually makes me feel better about the situation, but it frustrates my husband! He's overheard my conversations on the phone as a situation like this happens. He always asks me why I'm so nice to people who seem to have little consideration for my feelings. I tell him it's just a waste of my energy to get too angry, and I also believe that if I 'kill them with kindness' perhaps they will someday realize how they behaved, and feel guilty.:)

Taking the high road makes it much easier to move on (and sleep at night!)

May 20, 2008 03:09 AM
Lenn Harley
Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate - Leesburg, VA
Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland

I wouldn't ask the question below because my business model is based on experience and not suggestions from consumers. 

"I'm sorry to hear about that.  Thanks for taking the time to call/email me.  Could you give me any pointers on what we could have done differently to earn your business?" 

Don't be surprised if your new client's sister is expecting a referral fee on the listing sale. 

May 20, 2008 05:05 AM
Kris Hansen
Coldwell Banker - Golden, CO
Coldwell Banker

My first client who dumped me was so exhausting.  They wanted to run to the 4 corners of the earth looking at every property under the sun when they had an accepted contract.  I was initially very upset, but in the long run it was the best thing that could have happened.  I know deep down they will never buy a house, they just want to look at everything.  In retrospect, it was educational and it taught me to trust my gut when I think someone's trying to pull my leg.

May 20, 2008 12:09 PM
Natalie McArtor
Long & Foster - Gainesville, VA

I find that many buyers agents are so anxious just to close the sale, they find it difficult to put themselves in their buyers shoes.  Recently, I was just about to cut a buyer loose who was truly a "time vampire".  She was demanding, overbearing and intimidating; very difficult to establish a relationship with; Luckily, she dropped me first and I took it well, almost happily; but she know I was peeved.  Angry at myself for wasting about 50 hours, hundreds of dollard in gas & time trying to please her.  She was a low-baller who knew it all!

I have been in the business for 8 years and this is the first time I lost sleep thinking of ways to let her go...she did me a huge favor!  I am sleeping great.  Better to lose them before you spend your valuable time with them. 

May 21, 2008 07:13 AM
Retired Notworking
Tallahassee, FL

Jason, Love your attitude and gentlemanly ways - just like many other Texans I know. They are some of the friendliest, nicest people I've ever met. Never change.  

May 21, 2008 12:54 PM
Amanda Evans
DFW Living - Fort Worth, TX
Real Estate Broker - Fort Worth Texas

I'll have to mark this down on my calendar as I don't think I have ever disagreed with Lenn Harley until now.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't learn something new here at AR, through experience in the field or through feedback from my clients--even the ones that get away.  I believe that the moment we stop caring about what the consumer thinks is precisely when experience and all we have learned will fail us. 

May 22, 2008 05:29 AM
Kaleb Kunz
Logan, UT

I firmly believe that most people are genuinely honest....If you treat people in a good way, even if once in awhile you lose business to someone's relative, they will return the favor.

May 22, 2008 12:43 PM
Yvette Smith
LONG & FOSTER - Williamsburg, VA
Realtor In Williamsburg VA, Homes for Sale

Jason,

You're everywhere!!  I love this post.  RE is full of tough situations and it is definitely about your reaction to them.  Thank you for sharing your experiences.  And oh yea, consider this post BOOKMARKED!!

Have a woderful weekend!

 

May 23, 2008 12:17 AM
Patricia Beck
RE/MAX Properties, Inc., ABR, GRI, SRES - Colorado Springs, CO
Colorado Springs Realty

Very good advice!  It is hard to keep your cool sometimes but in the long run it is so important because you never know if you will work with the client again in the future.  Thanks for the bonus tip!!

May 25, 2008 05:05 PM