What is a Short Sale?

By
Mortgage and Lending with Columbia Mortgage Plus

A friend is looking forward to shopping for houses this spring and asks a basic question.  What do you say?  How do you explain it?  You want this to be a positive experience .... so how do you briefly summarize?

 

So, before the patients took over the asylum, banks would sometimes sell houses for less than the mortgage owed.  Not a terribly complicated process, unfortunate for some to be sure but fairly straight forward.

 

I know because I bought one.  Took 8 seconds.  Roughly (just an estimate).

 

But now we have giant shit loads of severely autistic morons called Mortgage Servicers.  It is not their fault they are completely retarded to death, they are products of their environment.

 

The special needs kids that ate the paste in grade 5, on the other side of your house deal.  Nice eh?

 

Who has standing?  Doesn't matter!  Because everybody at their trailer park is related!  Even their parents!

 

So yea, just orchestrate a beautiful wire transfer for these fucked up morons, and everything will go swimmingly!

 

Will it close on time?  Does it matter?  They don't know about all that!  Nothing matters!  It is real complicated!

 

Remember:  They need to be well capitalized so they can continue to get sued by the entire earth, forever.  And ever.  And ever.

 

 

Should I advise them to build?

 

In Switzerland maybe?

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Scott Thompson

Commerical Finance - Blue Springs, MO
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