AUTHOR: PATRICIA FEAGER 1/28/18
THE CHILDREN'S GARDEN
Something I like to do is stop in churches wherever I travel. Although the denomination doesn't matter to me, I believe that in Heaven there is no prejudice or discrimination. Several years ago, I stumbled upon St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church in Dallas and felt at home. At this church, I immediately felt I was surrounded by humble parishioners and no Catholic "guilt." Today was the first time I discovered The Children's Garden located on the southwest corner of Abrams and Kenwood. On this wall are the names of little angles that were taken away too soon.
Children who have passed away can be remembered in the garden where little metal cherubs and flowers keep them company. As I sat on a bench to say some prayers I couldn't stop thinking about their tiny tears and butterfly kisses and the grief their parents and siblings endured. The seed for the garden was provided by Rachel Elena Sedeno, whose short time on this earth touched so many lives as she battled for her life while her parents looked on. There was another little plaque that made my heart stop. As the sun beat down on me, I couldn't stop thinking about how sad it is to lose a child, or two, or three, or four, or five.
All the while driving home I felt a lump in my throat. A loss is painful at any age but to think of a child who never grew up left me speechless. As a mother myself and grandmother too, I couldn't imagine losing a child and then it felt like lightening struck. How could this have happened, I asked myself...
Why did this happen?
Was my own grief so deeply felt like a ton of bricks buried inside for all this time? It felt like the longest drive home. Tomorrow will be the anniversary of my husband's death. Everyone knew about his passing. But until today, I never talked about my secret to anyone. Soon after he died I found out I was pregnant. I remember every detail about my husband but after he died, I had to be strong. Keep going. Take care of our children. Pay the hospital bills. Figure out how I was going to pay the mortgage. What do I tell my children this time? Shortly thereafter, I had a miscarriage and nobody knew, except me. And today it hit me. I never smelled my baby's breath and so I stopped and bought a bouquet of flowers in my nameless baby with unknown sex's honor. Today is the day I faced a loss so inconceivable. Yet the little angles were at my side and I really wasn't all alone.