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The Gift of Listening: Is There Anybody Going To Listen To My Story?

By
Services for Real Estate Pros with Napa Consultants DRE00893924

We have always been proponents of “listening presentations” versus listing presentations. Mindfully listening can make the difference in whether or not you get the listing.

 

Perhaps given the natural disasters we have endured in our area, we have noticed in our community how much it means for someone to be listened to. Listening mindfully to someone’s woes or happiness is a thoughtful gift you can give someone. Both of us feel that this gift can be instrumental in turning someone’s life around.

 

Yesterday, one of our neighbors came up to us as we were leaving to just talk, and mostly to have us listen to her.   She related how 10 people/friends from her church died in the recent mudslides, and how she had driven through one of Montecito areas that had been completely devastated. She was in tears. We listened until she smiled.

 

Fifteen minutes later, we arrived at Trader Joe’s. One of the employees told us she was so glad we were alive. She had asked other employees if they had seen us in the store! We stood there and listened to her story. The same need to tell the story has been repeated over and over again at restaurants we frequent, even as far as the wine country, which was not impacted by the mudslides. They all had a story to tell, and we continue to listen mindfully.

 

Although the news vans are gone, the clean up continues. Mercifully, we think they are done in our area, although a bulldozer is still parked at the entrance to the creek behind our home, where it was used to clean the 6inch mud accumulation. The stories will continue to be told.

 

Mindfully listening to someone woes or good news has the benefit of making you feel good also. It is easy to do, and you will also find that others will start listening to you mindfully instead of interrupting you, fidgeting or sneaking glances at their smart phone. Is there anybody going to listen to your story?

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Comments (44)

Corinne Fitzgerald
FITZGERALD Real Estate - Greenfield, MA
Realtor/Broker/Owner, FITZGERALD Real Estate

Well said. Being present while someone is telling you thier story is important. They know if you are tuning in or tuning out. 

Thank you for posting this. Its a good reminder that mindful listening is very important.

Feb 06, 2018 06:04 AM
Jeanne Gregory
RE/MAX Southwest - Sugar Land, TX
The most important home I sell is YOURS!

Having gone through Hurricane Harvey, we definitely can relate.  I cannot imagine the horror of fire coming down a mountainside toward you! We have no idea how others still struggle with getting life back together after a disaster like this.  Listening is very important! 

Feb 06, 2018 07:07 AM
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Listening is a gift you can give. I think of my elderly neighbor (now deceased) who used to come every afternoon at 5 for a whiskey and conversation. Much of the time my husband and I just listened as he re-told the stories of his life.

He was a history teacher who had wanted to be an attorney, but didn't pursue it. He mentioned it often, and when discussing the news would go on about how he would handle things if he were the defense attorney.

I was shocked recently when his son stopped by and told us that was something he did not know about his dad.

I guess his son didn't listen.

Feb 06, 2018 10:07 AM
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Marte Cliff Your story gave me chills, and how sad that his son did not listen to his dad.  You made a big difference in your neighbor's life.  A

Feb 06, 2018 10:58 AM
Marte Cliff

Yes, sadly, we were about all he really had afer his wife passed away - or maybe even when she was still living. That was / is a strange family.

Feb 06, 2018 03:54 PM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
Retired New Hampshire Home Stager

Very perceptive of you and very caring too. Imagine if everyone were as willing to simply listen to others when they need to be heard. We could change the world!

Feb 06, 2018 01:26 PM
Gloria Todor
Premier Property Sales & Rentals - Springfield, PA
& Doug Durren (484) 431-3686 in SE PA

Alexandra, Your area has gone through so much with fires, the mudslides and drought. Good your appearance has put people in your community at rest about your your well being.

Listening is such a free gift we can give to others.  

Your title made me think of this song...Beatles

Feb 06, 2018 02:17 PM
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Gloria Todor As a matter of fact you are very accurate...it was that song that inspired this post, as well as hearing the need that everyone we encounter has to tell how they were affected.  A

Feb 06, 2018 02:34 PM
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Sharon Tara we are doing our best to have that happen, one person at a time.  Just now we were at the market, and were treated to a story...I think our constant reliance on the smart phone has lessened our sensitivity.  A

Feb 06, 2018 02:36 PM
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Jeanne Gregory Harvey was not kind to Texas, and I can only imagine what you all were going through.  This past year brought a lot of disaster from Mother Nature.  We are all humbled.   Thank you for your comment, we wish a great week and a great year.  A

Feb 06, 2018 02:38 PM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten
HomeSmart Real Estate - Phoenix, AZ
602-380-4886

Beautiful post!  Listening is a great gift we can lovingly give to each other and it makes such a huge difference. I think of it as the gift that keeps on giving, and giving and giving.  A sweet gift to give, especially in the circumstances you've all been through.

Feb 06, 2018 03:09 PM
Mary Jo Quay
H360homes.com - Minneapolis, MN
I Move You Home

When I was in high school I discovered Taylor Caldwell's The Listener.  Though written in 1960, it's as pertinent today as then.  It changed my life. 

Feb 06, 2018 05:34 PM
John Wiley
Fort Myers, FL
Lee County, FL, ECO Broker, GRI, SRES,GREEN,PSA

What a great reminder of "Mindful Listening."

We can easily talk too much and we have been told over and over that it is not about US! People need someone to listen to.

You have set a great example for all of us. THANK YOU!

Feb 06, 2018 05:36 PM
Robert Vegas Bob Swetz
Las Vegas, NV

Listening is very important in the real estate industry and I think we could all do more of it, wonderful post.

Feb 06, 2018 07:34 PM
Debb Janes
Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
Put My Love of Nature At Work for You

It's a discipline to slow down and take the time to "mindfully" listen. I know when I feel a need to share a story, I want the person I'm telling to be fully engaged. It feels terrible to see someone distracted when you're trying to communicate. This is such an important message and I'm not surprised to see it earned you another star for your collection. 

Feb 07, 2018 05:52 AM
Beth Atalay
Cam Realty and Property Management - Clermont, FL
Cam Realty of Clermont FL

Hello Ron and Alexandra Seigel, this is a beautiful post that touched my heart. I listed a home back in 2005, he was an elderly gentleman who was legally blind. He had lost his wife four months prior and was very depressed.   I spent hours cleaning his home as he didn't want anyone else to touch it. Then, we just formed a bond, I would stop to see him every Thursday morning, clean up, cook. Well, this went on for about seven months, then the home went under contract. His son moved him to an assisted living place where I continued to visit him till he passed away in 2011. He just wanted someone to listen to his stories, made him happy.
We can challenge ourselves every day to listen, everyone has a story. 

Feb 07, 2018 08:32 AM
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Robert Vegas Bob Swetz Thank you for your nice comment.  We agree that this should be in every agent's mind.  A

Feb 07, 2018 09:07 AM
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Mary Jo Quay Thank you for your valuable comment.  Taylor Caldwell's book is a wonderful one, and listening does lift someone's spirits.  I noticed that you are in Minneapolis.  It has been years since I have been there.  I did my undergraduate work at the U in Minneapolis.  We hope sometime this year to visit my nephew and his 3 kids who live in Ham Lake.  It would be fun to meet you also.  A

Feb 07, 2018 09:11 AM
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Beth Atalay I had tears in my eyes as I read your story.  What a gift you gave to that gentleman!  And I love your suggestion to listen every day to someone's story.  A

Feb 07, 2018 09:13 AM
Eileen Burns 954.483.3912
Trans State Commercial Realty Inc. - Fort Lauderdale, FL
FLorida Real Estate Connector

When attending events I often take invetory of how people react to one another.  I have a successful broker friend in Tampa who looks you right in the eye and has this wonderful conversation with you and only you, without distractions, as if you are the only person in the room... a true gift.

Listening is skill that needs constant honing.  Stories sell and stories are the chapters in our life.  So looking forward to meeting you in person in the near future A

Feb 07, 2018 03:00 PM
Jan Green - Scottsdale, AZ
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

You are such good people to listen and make others feel heard.  That's a talent that requires complete attention to someone else's needs.  Good for you!  

Feb 09, 2018 03:22 PM