The High Road is Never Closed

Real Estate Agent with Coldwell Banker 69190

Blythewood, SC Homes for Sale  I have written on the topic of learning to let things go once all is said and done and I can assure you that advice always bares repeating. Once a tough deal is done or you get jilted by a seller or buyer for that matter, it's always best to just move on and put things behind you. But what about when you are in the thick of things?

  I can assure you from personal experience that there is nothing easy about remaining calm when others do not subscribe to the same practice, but I can also tell you it's for the best in the long run. Getting into a heated exchange with a client or another agent rarely ends well.


Blythewood, SC Homes for Sale  It only takes a second for the wrong words to slip out and once their out they can't be taken back. I have myself typed out an email to vent my frustrations and blast the other party, then read it slowly and hit the delete button. Try it some time if you just need to get the situation out of your head.

  Thing about it is that we are the professionals and it is our reputation on the line, not the client's. I don't know about you but I spent a lot of time building mine up and the last thing I need or want is for a temporary lapse in judgment to tear things down. Sometimes even if you do your very best, people will still not be happy with you and in all honesty, some people just aren't happy to start with. So when it comes time to make a decision on how to handle these tough situations, please try to remember that the high road is never closed, you just have to make the decision to take it.


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JL Boney, III
Coldwell Banker - Columbia, SC
Columbia, SC Real Estate

Sharon - It can be a tough decision sometimes, but worth making for sure.


Dorie - No going back in at all and too much hassle to try and repair.


Debbie - It's a long road at best, integrity is a good thing to keep if possible.


Sheila - Thank you.


Carol - You can certainly move about freely. Plenty of elbow room.

Feb 27, 2018 05:19 PM #20
JL Boney, III
Coldwell Banker - Columbia, SC
Columbia, SC Real Estate

Debe - Letting the draft sit is a good idea. Better reread those things after you calm down.


Debb and Bernie - My wife and I run through things sometimes and that seems to help. We are both in real estate so our frustrations make sense to each other.


Marti - Thank You for the feature.


Kat - My grandmother used to tell me the same thing. It was good advice.


Anna - You Mom sounds like a wise woman.

Feb 27, 2018 05:24 PM #21
JL Boney, III
Coldwell Banker - Columbia, SC
Columbia, SC Real Estate

Marney - It takes a lot longer to build than to tear down.


Margaret - I have been there and it's no fun.


Christine - Thank you.


Elizabeth - Once it's gone, unfortunately it's gone.


Liz and Bill - We have a lot of agents here as well,  but word does get out and the last thing you need is your name dragged through the mud for poor decisions..

Feb 27, 2018 05:30 PM #22
JL Boney, III
Coldwell Banker - Columbia, SC
Columbia, SC Real Estate

Michael - I agree. Thanks for stopping by.


Nick & Trudy - Leaving the address bar empty is a good idea.


Richie - True story.


Chris - Keep traveling it as long as you can my friend.

Feb 27, 2018 05:33 PM #23
Bruce Kunz
C21 Solid Gold Realty, Brick, NJ, 732-920-2100 - Howell, NJ
REALTOR®, Brick & Howell NJ Homes for Sale

Well said, JL Boney, III,  and important to keep in mind! While the high road is never closed, there are times the air is thin 'up here' which only makes some situations harder to navigate...

Thanks for sharing this important reminder. Interesting how quickly one out of place comment can tear down years of hard work and good deeds.


Feb 27, 2018 06:29 PM #24
Ellen Caruso
Daniel Gale Sotheby's International Realty - Glen Head, NY

This brings me back to a recent situation being crossed by close friends going with another agent on a private listing, after I showed them homes for a month! I was glad when they said they didn’t like it and we’re back to me as their realtor. If I had said what I felt, perhaps I would not be back to showing them house with me.

Feb 27, 2018 07:04 PM #25
Dörte Engel
RE/MAX Leading Edge - Bowie, MD
ABC - Annapolis, Bowie, Crofton & rest of Maryland

Dear JL,

Funny! Reminds me of a colleague, who yelled at me for a full 45 minutes, while I held my phone as far away from myself & my manager as possible. Forget the reason, but it was some small issue with a closing that resolved itself the next day. I learned a bunch of new words on that occasion. Now, I would hang up. Never forgot the professional demeanor of this top producer.

Feb 27, 2018 07:37 PM #26
Mary Hutchison, SRES, ABR
Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate-Kansas City Homes - Kansas City, MO
Experienced Agent in Kansas City Metro area

I agree wity you--tempting to 'go low' but keep those comments to yourself or vent to a trusted friend/spouse.  Positive always outweighs negative.

Feb 27, 2018 08:24 PM #27
Kimo Jarrett
WikiWiki Realty - Huntington Beach, CA
Pro Lifestyle Solutions

Sometimes it's better to be assertive in a respectful and professional manner rather than to be politically correct, therefore, remaining in control of the outcome and consequences regarding adverse circumstances.

Unfortunately, circumstances occur that make compromise difficult or impossible and opportunities are lost, yet, doing what's right is IMO always best regardless of any relationship or monetary loss. Your character and virtue are priceless, so guard it diligently. 

Feb 27, 2018 08:55 PM #28
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Your post reminded me of moment in time from many years ago that forever changed me.  It changed EVERYTHING about how I communicate with others and I don't recall being "mad" since.  I was watching my husband angrily talk to our son about having not done a project that was due the next day after a conversation with the teacher. 

I saw the exact moment when Colin's eyes glazed over and he was still "listening" to Donald, but he wasn't "hearing" him any longer.  That moment for me forever changed how I relate to others when I disagree with them. I truly wish I'd figured it out decades prior. 

I do believe that it's made me a better professional when dealing with conflict. I know that I had to keep them hearing what I'm trying to convey and that must come from a place of construction and not power.  

Feb 27, 2018 09:28 PM #29
John Wiley
Fort Myers, FL
Lee County, FL, ECO Broker, GRI, SRES,GREEN,PSA

Great words of wisdom.

No one can control our tongues except ourselves.

Words are powerful, they can build up and they can tear down.


Feb 28, 2018 04:18 AM #30
Jamie King
Hoty Enterprises, Inc. - Huron, OH
Sandusky, OH

I, too, often write emails just to make myself feel better, then delete. The older I get, the better I become at zipping my lip! With a reputation for being bluntly honest, it's tough to change, but I try to remember to ask myself "What good will it do?" If the answer is only to get my thoughts "off my chest" or to make others aware of someone elses's dishonesty or ruthlessness or downright insanity, then it's best that I bury my thoughts and let others come to their own conclusions. I like to think of it as having "grace" by not saying what I'm thinking...sounds better than biting my tongue!

Feb 28, 2018 04:53 AM #31
Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty
Bucci Realty, Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Fifteen Years Experience in Brevard County

Your title is so true... the high road is never closed.  But, sometimes, it is under construction!

Feb 28, 2018 07:09 AM #32
Jeff Dowler, CRS
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude


Congrats on this well deserved feature. It's important to always keep in mind that the high road is always there...and not just in our business! Something, in the heat of the emotions, that can be tough to do! Some simply do not know that road exists, nor care!


Feb 28, 2018 10:58 AM #33
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

JL- excellent!!!!  And your title along with Gary L. Waters, Broker Owner, Waters Realty of Brevard, LLC comment are perfect. My aunt used to say "Never stoop." This reminds me of her words. 

Feb 28, 2018 03:25 PM #34
JL Boney, III
Coldwell Banker - Columbia, SC
Columbia, SC Real Estate

Bruce - I do like the statement that the air gets thin.


Ellen - It is tough when you know someone personally that does you wrong, but if you can swallow it, it's usually for the best.


Dorte - I can see where that would make an impression on you.


Mary - It is tempting but never the right thing to do.


Kimo - Sometimes you do just have to lose the money. there's always more out there.


Tammy - Anger may get your frustration out, but it won't get your message across it just makes the other person shut down or fight more.

Mar 01, 2018 07:20 AM #35
JL Boney, III
Coldwell Banker - Columbia, SC
Columbia, SC Real Estate

John - Yes they can.


Jamie - I have gotten better at it with time, but I had to train myself. Holding my tongue is not my natural state.


Gary -  I like your statement.


Jeff - I have met a few in my day that do not know it's here my friend.


Kathy - I was told to never stoop to the level of another when I was younger. I had to get older to listen.

Mar 01, 2018 07:25 AM #36
JoAnn Moore
The Mortgage Market of Delaware - Georgetown, DE
Home Loans in Delaware

Congratulations on your featured post. Good reminder to all of us. 

Mar 03, 2018 04:19 PM #37
Sharon Parisi
United Real Estate Dallas - Dallas, TX
Dallas Homes

Taking the high road is a much smoother ride than the low road filled with potholes and grenades!  The low roads take way too much time, energy, and negative emotions.

Mar 05, 2018 10:14 PM #38
Jan Green
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

Agree on all counts with Tammy Lankford, !  Great response.  I typically try to remove myself and remember to take the high road on all matters.  I'm in the middle of one such situation now and having to tread lightly with another agent.  I'd like to be remembered as being fair to everyone, not just buyers and sellers.  Great post!

Mar 06, 2018 08:49 AM #39
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Columbia, SC Real Estate
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