We Want to Buy the Ugly Dog in the Neighborhood
The phone rings.
I pick up.
Caller: "This is Tonya Weppler. What is the nicest neighborhood that you have listings in?"
I answer her question with the name of the neighborhood that is the newest one in our area that has newer homes that are in the upper price range.
Tonya: "Describe the lowest price house that you have listed in that neighborhood, please."
Me: "It's an open floor plan for living areas, split bedrooms, rear garage, vaulted ceiling, 3 bed 2 bath, double garage, with large storage building, privacy fence, in-ground pool, in a cul-de-sac sited as far back from the street as possible. 2800 sq ft of living space plus the garage."
Tonya: "Closet sizes and storage?"
Me: "Walk-ins in all bedrooms, large pantry, standard entry coat closet, standard linen in the hallway and linen in the bathrooms, cabinets and hanging storage in the laundry. Have you looked at the photos on our wesite?"
Tonya: "Not yet. What's the price of the house?"
Me: "It is listed at $268,000".
Tonya: "Well, that won't work! My dad said to buy the dog in the neighborhood and we want in the nicest neighborhood, but we can't afford that."
Me: I was a little taken back.... "Excuse me..... dog?"
Tonya: "Yes, you know kinda' like the ugly dog contest where the ugliest dog is usually the sweetest.. The ugliest or cheapest house in a really nice neighborhood will allow us to put sweat equity into the house to make it more like the houses around it and those houses will help bring the value of our ugly dog house up, after we make it pretty."
Me: "Oh... I see.. (hmmm ... I think we need to find a better word for these home... maybe one already in use.... maybe "flipper") Well, this one is not "the ugly dog" in the neighborhood. It just happens to be what's for sale. I'm not sure there is an ugly one in this neighborhood. You, know what they say about beauty being in the eye of the beholder. BUT let me tell you about some other listings that I have that might interest you."
Tonya: "Do they have potential to increase in value?"
Me: "Well, let's take a look at them and you make that decision."
Me: "Oh by the way, do you have pets?"
As a comment here from me... please don't take the use of the word "dog" in reference to an ugly house that needs work, the wrong way... I love my puppy dogs too! From dictionary.com:
something worthless or of extremely poor quality:That used car you bought is a dog.
an utter failure; flop:Critics say his new play is a dog.
The above post is a work of fiction to characterize a real concept. It has been posted in the new group: Fictional Blog Posts Written to Illustrate Real Scenarios or Concepts