The Grab Bag - Birthday Weird Twitter

Real Estate Broker/Owner with New Paradigm Partners LLC EB #1326335

I'm overwhelmed with your good wishes this morning (Thanks, Praful, Ron & Alexandra for the Q&A mentions!) and felt that the only proper response would be a Grab Bag post to express my appreciation for everyone's thoughtfulness here, on FB and many e-mails - you have added a lot to an already special day!


Luckily, my Twitter account had some bookmarked tweets almost suitable for public consumption. As always, please enjoy responsibly.


🙉🙈🙊 🙉🙈🙊 🙉🙈🙊 🙉🙈🙊 🙉🙈🙊


If pigs could fly, I’d eat their wings.



In retrospect, "because it tastes like bacon" probably wasn't the best answer to my toddlers question of why the dog licks himself down there



Today I finally told my kids that St Patrick isn't real, and it's been me putting the snakes under their pillows all these years.



My goldfish died. The good news is I’m inheriting a tiny treasure chest.



The best murder weapon would be a tupperwear lid because nobody would ever find it.



Everything happens for a reason. A lot of times, the reason is that you f***ed up



From the makers of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter™, Introducing:

-It Might Be Bread
-Let's Just Say It's Cream Cheese
-It Almost Tastes Like Jam
-Sure, it's "Maple Syrup"
-Smells A Bit Like Eggs



*Burrito falls on kitchen floor and explodes*

The Five Stages of Grief:

1. Grief
2. Eat burrito off floor
3. Denial that I ate a burrito off filthy kitchen floor
4. Acceptance
5. Wish I had another floor burrito


Posted by
Mary & Dick

Mary & Dick Greenberg
New Paradigm Partners LLC
2601 S. Lemay Ave. #41
Fort Collins, CO 80525


Data Source: IRES MLS


Re-Blogged 1 time:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Ginger Harper 03/19/2018 05:29 AM
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Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...The Most Informed Agent In The Hamptons!

Happy Birthday Dick Greenberg; I love the pig and the tweets! Enjoy the rest of your day!

Mar 18, 2018 06:40 PM #11
Dorie Dillard
Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.346.1799 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate

Good evening Dick Greenberg ,

Loved your post with all the tweets! Hope you have a Wonderful Birthday!! Enjoy the rest (what is left) of today!!

Mar 18, 2018 07:08 PM #12
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Twitter can be so weird but so good sometimes as well! Such is life that way. Thanks for posting!

Mar 18, 2018 07:22 PM #13
Debra Leisek
Bay Realty,Inc Homer Alaska - Homer, AK

Happy Birthday! I remember that photo from something on Facebook long ago...can you refresh my memory... Love your sense of Humor we all need moe of that in our lives! 

Mar 19, 2018 12:19 AM #14
Kat Palmiotti
Grand Lux Realty, 914-419-0270, - Monroe, NY
The House Kat

Haha, happy belated birthday. I loved these tweets. I bet the second sock would make a good murder weapon, for the same reason as the tupperware lid.

Mar 19, 2018 04:35 AM #15
Scott Godzyk
Godzyk Real Estate Services - Manchester, NH
One of Manchester NH's Leading Agents

Hope you had a great birthday Dick Greenberg , i do miss seeing you post daily. Hope things are well and love the laughs today

Mar 19, 2018 05:54 AM #16
Carla Freund
Keller Williams Preferred Realty - Apex, NC
Raleigh - Cary Triangle Real Estate 919-602-8489

Good chuckle this morning. Hope you had an amazing birthday!

Mar 19, 2018 06:20 AM #17
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Dicks Picks...

Mar 19, 2018 06:42 AM #18
Jeff Dowler, CRS
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude - Carlsbad

Hey Dick

Thanks for bringing a smile to my face by your presence, and a chuckle from your post! Hope your birthday was everything you hoped for and more!


Mar 19, 2018 08:03 AM #19
George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

Dick OK you have out done your self with these ...... LOL

Mar 19, 2018 08:46 AM #20
Michael Jacobs
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena Area Real Estate 818.516.4393

Hi Dick. Always good to "see" you but especially on "your special day" know the publication of a new grab bag.

Mar 19, 2018 09:14 AM #21
Marney Kirk
Cummings & Co. Realtors - Towson, MD
Towson, Maryland Real Estate

Happy Birthday, Dick! I have to admit, this one made me snort out loud! LOL "In retrospect, "because it tastes like bacon" probably wasn't the best answer to my toddlers question of why the dog licks himself down there"



Mar 19, 2018 09:37 AM #22
Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD
ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
REALTORS® in Clark County, WA

Hahaha. Love this one Dick. Hope you got our birthday "text." I'm betting Mary spoiled you in grand style. D 

Mar 19, 2018 10:03 AM #23
Gene Mundt, IL/WI Mortgage Originator - FHA/VA/Conv/Jumbo/Portfolio/Refi
NMLS #216987, IL Lic. 031.0006220, WI Licensed. APMC NMLS #175656 - New Lenox, IL
708.921.6331 - 40+ yrs experience


Glad to see you, Birthday Boy! 

Hope it was a great one and Mary spoiled you all day long ...






Mar 19, 2018 10:34 AM #24
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Dick loved the photo, if memory serves me right you posted that picture once before:)) needless to say this was an unexpected but pleasant surprise i.e.: the grab bag:)Endre

Mar 19, 2018 05:36 PM #25
Gabe Sanders
Real Estate of Florida specializing in Martin County Residential Homes, Condos and Land Sales - Stuart, FL
Stuart Florida Real Estate

Hillarious, Dick.  Thanks.

Mar 20, 2018 06:55 AM #26
Nick & Trudy Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtors, Philly Main Line

Have a grerat birthday, love the quotes, seems you are having a good time if you thought about those as you posted them.

Mar 20, 2018 11:20 AM #27
Jan Green
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

Thank you for the chuckles.  So sorry I didn't know!  Gotta connect with you!  Happiest of birthdays to you buddy!

Mar 20, 2018 03:42 PM #28
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
New Hampshire Home Stager

Happy belated birthday! I missed the Q & A mention but I'm so glad I didn't miss this! Loved the tweets.

My murder weapon of choice has always been an icicle because it melts.

Mar 21, 2018 06:56 AM #29
Mike Cooper
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Sales Pro

Hilarious, Dick. I especially liked the Tupperware comment. That is a solid truth.

Mar 23, 2018 09:09 AM #30
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Northern Colorado Residential Real Estate
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