What Do You Remember Most? The Good or the Bad?
When it comes to whether we are a positive or negative person, one clue resides in what our memory holds onto with the most clarity. For me, I am often reminded by bad things that happened by my husband. He can't believe that I can't recall how annoyed I was ten years ago, or five years ago at something that, at the time, seemed like a big deal. At the same time, I can remember the wonderful things that friends and family have done for me that seemed like nothing.
My brother and I had a laugh last night. As you know, our mom has Alzheimer's dementia. As such, her short term memory is shot. One benefit of that, besides the fact that she will pick out her own Christmas gifts and then be amazed at how well I know her when she opens them a couple weeks later, should be that she easily forgets life's aggravations. Wrong! Something completely amazing can happen, like my best friend getting pregnant without medical assistance at the age of forty-six after years of failed attempts, and every time my mom hears about it for last six months, that is a total surprise. On the other hand, if it's something that irritates her, she can't let it go.
Last night during our phone call, she wouldn't stop complaining about the fact that my brother had to park an entire building away from hers. She was fired up and ready to make a complaint against the community. That's my mom. She goes off half-cocked and full boar angry with the facts as she sees them. I've lived with this embarrassment my whole life. And you would think a benefit of the Alzheimer's would be that she would forget these minor transgressions and live blissfully unaware. Not happening. My mom always sees the negative over the positive and is raring to thrown the first, second and third punch over those things.
I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm glad that I am not stuck on that hamster wheel of angst. The song from the movie Frozen nailed it. Let it go! Life's too short to hold onto the bad. Leave more room for the good. You'll live a happier life.