Anthony Bourdain, Kate Spade, Robin Williams...what can be done?

Real Estate Agent with California Lifestyle Realty DRE# 1780607

Anthony Bourdain, Kate Spade, Robin Williams...what can be done?


As soon as I heard about the tragic death of Anthony Bourdain yesterday, the first thing that came to my mind was " I should have asked him to come to my house.  I should have made him breakfast."   That might be a strange thing to think or say, but I felt it so strongly that I thought there must be something to it.  I am a cook.  I admire cooks, particularly good cooks, gifted cooks, great cooks.  Anthony was one of my heroes.  I utilized this quote in my first cookbook for my Breakfast chapter.  I believe it to be profoundly true.  #cometomyhouse #iwillmakeyoubreakfast 

How did you feel when Robin Williams died?  I wished that I had invited him to my house. That I had reached out to him.  #iwillmakeyoulaugh

What about Kate Spade... what would you want her to know?  What would you have done?  #cometomyhouse 

Did they know how many people loved them, admired them, mourned for them?  Did they know how much?  What if they had known the public and private reaction to their death?  What if we could have invited them over?   What if we could tell them we want to make them breakfest?

And... it isn't just celebrities that die tragically.  What if our friends and family knew how we really felt about them?  What if they knew how much they would be missed?  Could it have made a difference?  #cometomyhouse #iwillmakeyoubreakfast

Who are the people in your life- that if they suddenly died- you would feel the most strongly about?  Who would you mourn the most?  Think about those people... whether they are celebrities, neighbors, golf buddies, family.  We NEED to let them know how we feel BEFORE the tragedy.  

With social media we can reach almost anyone.  We can reach out and let them know how we feel.  What if thousands of people had sent Anthony Bourdain the hashtag #cometomyhouse  #iwillmakeyoubreakfast?  Would it have made a difference?  I don't know.  But I do know that I have friends who battle depression who tell me that a phone call, a warm thought, a card, a note, a message, a tweet, and even a hashtag can make a difference in how their day goes.  It can make a difference in managing their illness and give them hope when battling depression.  

Let's use social media to reach out to those we admire, no matter how famous.  Let's reach out to those we love no matter how distant, no matter how close.  Let's send them the message that we care!

 #cometomyhouse #iwillmakeyoubreakfast  or #iwillmakeyoulunch, or #iwillmakeyoudinner, or #iwillmakeyoubellylaugh, or #iwillmakeyougiggle or #iwillteachyoutosurf or #iwillteachyoutoputt ...

Whatever makes you happy, invite them to do that.  

If we all take the time to do this... it could make the difference in at least one life.   Let's start with #iwillmakeyoubreakfast.


Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255



Posted by



Kathy Schowe   760.333.8886  

California Lifestyle Realty  California Lifestyle Realty                                               




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Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
Local News and Events
The Lounge at Active Rain
Out Of The Box!
Fraiche Aire
POSITIVE ATTITUDE for the Weary Soul
mental illness
robin williams
anthony bourdain
power of social media
kate spade
true cooks
parts unknown
social change through social media

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Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR
Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate

Good  morning Kathy Schowe,

I love your post and so glad to see it featured. Thank you for your insights and sharing and encouraging to reach out to those who need a call, a note or a hashtag, a hug whatever to let them know we care! You are wonderfully inspiring.

Jun 11, 2018 05:27 AM #23
Ricki Eichler McCallum
CastNet Realty - Corpus Christi, TX
Broker,GRI,ABR, e-Pro, TAHS

Hi Kathy,

What an incredible post!  You are so right, it only takes a minute to reach out and let someone know you care.  Let us all do it more!

Jun 11, 2018 06:11 AM #24
Hannah Williams
Re/Max Eastern inc. - Philadelphia, PA
Expertise NE Philadelphia & Bucks 215-953-8818

Kathy Schowe  It is a beautiful thought and it would be wonderful if it was that simple . Depression is a disease and illness a chemical imbalance . They say it is hereditary knows no boundaries . You can be rich or poor ,young or old we need more research . There are medications some people refuse to take them

Jun 11, 2018 09:11 AM #25
Kathy Schowe
California Lifestyle Realty - La Quinta, CA
La Quinta, California 760-333-8886

Thank you Ricki!  Have a great week!

Jun 11, 2018 09:16 AM #26
Erika Rogers
Red Rock Real Estate ~ Southern Utah's Largest Independent Brokerage - Saint George, UT
St George Utah Real Estate & Relocation Specialist

Kathy Schowe Thank you for putting pen to what so many people are thinking.  My heart aches for the families and friends and I am so sad that this keeps happening in our society. Let us work harder at reaching out to those around us and taking the time to say "hi"

Jun 11, 2018 10:46 AM #27
Ben DeHaven
Haven Realty & Investments - Winter Haven, FL
Proudly serving Winter Haven & Lakeland, Florida

A very sad day indeed. He is one TV star that I actually enjoyed watching. I have seen all of his shows. 

Jun 11, 2018 11:10 AM #28
Dan Tabit
Keller Williams Bellevue - Sammamish, WA

I'm sorry for the close friends and family of anyone who's taken their own life. Unfortunately I've known several people who have done this and it's tragic, but sometimes even anticipated. 

I had long time friend who moved away years ago for work. We'd stayed in touch to a limited degree and I always thought of him kindly, although our friends and I knew he was a tortured soul. One day I received a call from his brother announcing he'd passed away.  Initially he disclosed a diagnosis of cancer, but as we talked further he revealed that he took his own life rather than wait for the disease. 

I was sad, disappointed and at the same time not surprised. In fact, at first I stated, "at least he didn't kill himself".  

The reality with this friend and others I've known is that money, family and even fame isn't a cure for what causes the pain that results in this. It's a mental illness that we haven't fully understood or treated. 

One day, science may uncover this mystery better, but until then take care of those you love, those you like and even those who you don't. Treat people well, we don't know what others are going through.  Should they struggle and fall, we can at least know we were kind to them.  Offer help to those in pain but don't assume responsibility beyond your capacity.  People make choices we can't understand and it's important not to be swept up in their misery while we grieve.  

Jun 11, 2018 12:03 PM #29
Sonja Patterson
Keller Williams - BV - College Station, TX
Texas Monthly 5-Star Realtor Recipient for the Hou

Kathy, the loss of Anthony, Kate, Robin, Whitney, and so many others is very, very sad. Thank you for your encouragement to reach out. We may never know the impact our kindness may have. I tell my kids, every human being is going to disappoint you at some point. There is only One who will be able to love you perfectly 24/7. He reached out to a very depressed man who had denied Him 3 times, and said, "Come and have breakfast," in John 21:12. A beautiful story. :)

Jun 11, 2018 02:56 PM #30
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

poverty of spirit is no respecter of person....

Jun 11, 2018 03:51 PM #31
Charles Vasels
Corona, CA

I think about this a little....oppositely.

If someone wants to go, let them go. I want to go this year, ive had enough, but choosing the right and effective method is the current hangup.  I wish I could go into the Startrek transporter and in two seconds my particles evaporate into space. But how we think about death is the area that needs adjustment.

That said, and I feel tired of it being said so much, dont let another day go by that you dont talk to someone you say you care about but do nothing to demonstrate it. Get in your car, on a plane, get on the phone and tell them. Let the phone lines catch fire from all the caring activity! Thats the way.

All this outpouring of grief over recent suicides but where were we the day before? Surely, whereever it was it was the farthest from the thoughts of that person and thats wrong. What, its better to feel guilt later? When my grandfather died in 1982 I was guilt-free. From five years before I saw it coming. I committed to seeing him twice a week and then on every single Sunday I took him to dinner. When he died, our relationship was solid and up to date, very unlike what the rest of my family had because they didnt give a damn and then the guilt and tears come........thats not right.

For whatever reason, people will never stop attempting to take their life. If they truly want to go, help them in a clean and loving way. I dont believe that forcing people to stay in a miserable life is the best way to deal with them. If anyone has a say on this planet (we dont mean God here) about the disposition of a persons life, its the person. Its not you, me, its not a court or a government. Show love and caring the way the person wants and nevermind why. This will stop the useless and endless analyses about the Whys and Preventions and Treatments. If the person wants help to live, for godsakes dont ignore them, help that happen; if they want to go, help that happen, too.

I wish to say strongly that i know this is a sensitive topic. Im very respectful of everyones views and have no intent to affront anyones sensibilities. Its not an easy topic but we can make progress by maturely facing what things really are about. At all times, my best to all.


Jun 11, 2018 07:08 PM #32
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

It can never hurt to use social media to let celebrities know they are valued. When it comes to people in your life, I believe your voice is the best medium to use... And perhaps one voice saying "I love you and value you" would make a difference.

However, we do not know what goes on in other people's lives or hearts. If someone was suffering from a painful disease or has simply stopped wanting to live, I would not ask them to stay on this plain, just to make me happy.

Jun 11, 2018 09:00 PM #33
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...The Most Informed Agent In The Hamptons!

Beautifully written post, Kathy. It is an inspiration to those of us who have lost someone to suicide. Unfortunately, and in almost all cases of suicide, the individual has the momentary idea and is overcome by it. The deed is done and I have been told that it is a brief moment that, if thought through, given a moment longer would never have happened. That is the saddest part of suicide deaths. It is studied by many and the theory is that if one could wait for 1 minute--could hold on for another few seconds, that feeling will pass and life will go on. I like to think that a decision is made only after much self examination--much calling up of "angels" and only after a logical conclusion is drawn does the individual choose life. But that is not what happens I fear...

Thanks for sharing this...

Jun 11, 2018 09:01 PM #34
Dave Halpern
Keller Williams Realty Louisville East (502) 664-7827 - Louisville, KY
Louisville Short Sale Expert

Annie Lennox – Angel Lyrics

Underneath this canopy of snow

Where fifty-seven winters

Took their toll

Where did you go?


She took her life

Within her own two hands

And no one can tell her

What to do now

Jun 12, 2018 09:50 AM #35
Jeff Dowler, CRS
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Kathy

I'm so glad this eloquent post was featured. I'm also glad that we are now hearing more about what might be done to help those in need and services that are available, in addition keeping in mind the things we can do - reaching out, staying in touch, having a kind word, and letting those who are suffering that we care about them. Sadly, sometimes it's not enough or too late, and some will perish no matter our best efforts.


Jun 12, 2018 03:00 PM #36
Georgie Hunter R(S) 58089
Hawai'i Life Real Estate Brokers - Haiku, HI
Maui Real Estate sales and lifestyle info

I'd like to know when the pharma companies are going to open up about their role in all of this.  First the opioid epidemic and now the suicide epidemic... coincidence?  You decide.  Either way it's a new marketing opportunity for more and better drugs!

Jun 12, 2018 05:01 PM #37
Sharon Mistowski
Horizon Lending Services, LLC - Prosper, TX
Horizon Lending Services, LLC

Truly appreciate this post. Mental health is important and yet almost always neglected. We can all be better about checking in with one another every once in a while. This is another reminder that there's a community among us, even for those who feel isolated because of their battle with depression. <3

Jun 12, 2018 05:16 PM #38
Mary Hutchison, SRES, ABR
Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate-Kansas City Homes - Kansas City, MO
Experienced Agent in Kansas City Metro area

What a wonderful heartfelt blog. One of my favorites although sad subject. I've been watching Bourdain since his first show on Food Network So admired his style of writing, his honesty, he was no bs all the way. His death a real shocker--I understand Kate and Robin had issues family was aware of--still that doesn't explain why they would take their own life. Yes, treasure those close to you!

Jun 12, 2018 08:18 PM #39

You can’t talk to anybody because those without depression just don’t get it and they push you away. Some will also accuse you of sabotaging them into taking responsibility for your possible suicide, like you’re doing something specifically to them. If you don’t kill yourself, you’re the boy who cried wolf. Next time you might but now people don’t believe you so they get angry if you tell them anything about these feelings. No one wants to be the boy/girl who cried wolf, so you just keep your mouth shut so you’re not pegged as needy. You don’t really want to die, you just want attention, right?The world is cruel and when you’re at your lowest point, you get hit right in the fucking head just how bad it is.

Jun 17, 2018 07:50 PM #40

You can’t talk to anybody because those without depression just don’t get it and they push you away. Some will also accuse you of sabotaging them into taking responsibility for your possible suicide, like you’re doing something specifically to them. If you don’t kill yourself, you’re the boy who cried wolf. Next time you might but now people don’t believe you so they get angry if you tell them anything about these feelings. No one wants to be the boy/girl who cried wolf, so you just keep your mouth shut so you’re not pegged as needy. You don’t really want to die, you just want attention, right?The truth is there is no light at the end of the tunnel, so reaching out is pointless.The world is cruel and when you’re at your lowest point, you get hit right in the fucking head just how bad it is.

Jun 17, 2018 07:52 PM #41
John Henry
John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc. - Orlando, FL
Residential Architect, Luxury Custom Home Design

Kathy, this is an enormous task for all the people we know.  The heart is in the right place though and our closest relatives at the least deserve to be contacted on a regular basis.  
Most of us are separated from our brothers and sisters and that is definitely a place to start.  Mothers and Fathers are priority! 

We all have some friends who have gone through trial and tribulations and deserve to be checked on as well!

Thanks for the post. 

Sep 20, 2018 09:30 AM #44
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Kathy Schowe

La Quinta, California 760-333-8886
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