We ALL Judge. And It's Okay. It's Actually Good.

Amen, Candice. It was an interesting collection of responses to your question.

We all are judging, like it or not. Perhaps the issue is more one of what we do and say as a result of that judging.

Jeff

We all judge and we all get judged. It's the reason Home Staging exists as a business. LOL

Good morning Candice A. Donofrio,

I'm glad Kathy Streib featured this in her "Ah-Ha" moments for the week. Your post is a breath of fresh air because we judge everything and if we say we don't that's nuts!  I had to laugh at Sharon Tara's comment..it is the reason Home staging exists!!!!

I think being judgmental has negative connotations because it's become a catch-all for all behavior in which people discuss others in a negative light. The reality is we do all judge, it's a form of assessing situations and people, eg: is this safe? are they genuine? will this be a good exchange? is this person toxic to my world?  In my decisions to avoid certain people, it is a form of judgement. We are on different paths - it's not good or bad, it just is.   Glad Kathy featured this post today. 

Hi Candice,
There is a difference in being judgemental and being critical.  Yes, I judge people and things all day every day... but I try not to be critical.  I do not know their story and I try to respect their right to live the life they choose.  And, by-the-way, I would NEVER wear a bikini anytime or anywhere.  Why?  Because people JUDGE. 

When people see me in a bikini:




When people see Candice A. Donofrio in a bikini"

Don't get me started! Every day someone is trying to tell you how to live your life, what to buy, what to eat, watch on TV, what car you need to have to send a certain message, etc. And if you don't follow the current trend, you are JUDGED to be poor, rich, etc. Even in our business, real estate. You don't drive a Lexus? Well, can't sell luxury real estate without it (not). So we need to be vigilant that we don't fall into these traps. On the other hand, CONFORM to certain things, and you are PERCEIVED to be a certain type of person. Great topic.

It's true that we size others up and form opinions, it helps us learn about ourselves.  But there IS A POINT where judging becomes malicious and very UNhealthy.  When judging becomes malicious, as it sometimes does, it's not at all healthy.  In fact, it's neurotic.

For example,  middle school mean girls that bully someone for how they dress or where they live.  Or spending our time looking around at what's wrong with everyone else in order to feel more comfortable in our own skin.

I try to remind myself when I catch myself making judgments that are entirely unnecessary, i.e., what someone else is wearing, and ask myself "why do I care?"  If making a judgment doesn't have a lesson or change a personal attribute or help someone else, it's time for my thoughts to move on to something more positive and joy-promoting.

“What you meet in another being is the projection of your own level of evolution.” 
― Ram Dass

A BIG thumbs-up to Hella M. Rothwell, Broker/Realtor®'s comment and to your post! Try as I may, giving everyone a 'free pass' and not instantly judging, is not always possible!

Like Hella, I am tired of people telling me what I am allowed to think and what I am allowed to say! Hey, I'm a nice, southern girl and am not in the business of saying hurtful things but, I do have an opinion! And, on occasion, I don't mind sharing it! 

You're right, Candice - it's human nature to judge. In my response to your question in Q&A, I probably should have said, I try not to judge PUBLICLY! You never know when the PC police will come after you! LOL

Bikinis don't motivate me but brains and humor does. FYI, I might just be describing you.

Life would be serioiusly boring if we all looked the same!  Yes we all make quick judgements on everything, both good and bad, to help us make decisions.  Great post!

Hi Candice A. Donofrio, love this post and your honesty.  Whether we admit it or not, we judge. Every.single.day..all the time! I know, I do. I judge but I try not to be critical. I just love your sense of humor.

LOVE the quote by C.A. Walsh! (she forgot "Whole Lotta Love")!

Another fabulous post too my dear.

BTW, I love long time when I'm fed, worshipped and bathed too. Men are dogs.

I had a friend who started every story she told with, "don't judge me." I finally started responding, "I'm definitely going to judge." The alternative is not only difficult, it's dishonest. As you said, we all have feelings and they need to be acknowledged.

I could not stop laughing when I read your post Candice!! What a great post. Everything you wrote was spot on. Great post and thank you for the honesty.

Candice - you are so very, very true.  We judge all the time on whether or not we want to work with someone, shop at that store, eat at that restaurant, and go on that trip.  It is how we are wired. 

We ALL judge - everything and everyone. It's often a sub-conscience thing. We see tattoos or no tattoos - we judge. We see short, tight shorts - we judge. We see a walker, cane or wheelchair - we judge. We see long hair, a beard - we judge. Candice A. Donofrio  

Candice, your post is spot on and refreshingly honest!!!

Not to judge your choice of diction (^_~),  but what on earth is SWAMP hair???   I didn't see anything in your bio about living in Louisiana!!!   ^_~

Preach, Candice A. Donofrio. You speak the absolute, unadulterated, human truth. Thank you.  #Inspired - Tim

Excellent truth teller !!! And I'm never wearing a bikini again