If You Can’t Be Polite…At Least Be Eloquent

Real Estate Agent with Prudential Shimmering Sands Realty

When Insults Had Class

These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

" He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Poor Faulkner... Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker


"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

 "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx


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Doreen Johan
RE/MAX Sunset Coast - Saint Joseph, MI
Sunset Coast Michigan

These are great I love the sparring edge to these comments.  Great resource thanks for sharing.  Many of these thoughts have occured for me while sizing up negotiations and the abilities on the "other side"..  Ah, let the games begin!   It's what I love about REAL ESTATE, every day is different.

Doreen Johan RE/MAX Sunset Coast www.johanrealestate.com

Jul 21, 2008 06:36 AM #1
Eva Armstrong
Environmental Visions - Tallahassee, FL
Environmental Visions

Chuck, what fun!  and rather revealing as well - who knew that Churchill and Shaw didn't like each other?  Thanks!!!

Jul 21, 2008 08:30 AM #2
Steve Loynd
Alpine Lakes Real Estate Inc., - Lincoln, NH
800-926-5653, White Mountains NH

I don't recall the playwright at the moment but when asked about another author he didn't care for he responded "well Mr. Lincoln how do you like the play so far". enough said. Steve

Jul 21, 2008 08:56 AM #3
Robin Lundholm
Cape May, NJ

I love the quotes.  I have said some of those in conversation and it is fun to see if the other party knows that it is a quote or not.  I actually said this one yesterday to someone who was complaining to me..."You have the personality of a teaspoon."  I heard it in a movie.  I don't know which one.  I thought it was funny.  They didn't laugh.

Sep 09, 2008 03:04 AM #4

Well Robin, even if they didn't think it was funny, I thought is was. I used to have a sticker on my truck that said "Stupidity should be painful". The ones who didn't find it amusing were usually in pain.

Sep 09, 2008 03:17 AM #5
C. Thompson
Loan Modification - Bethesda, MD
Loss Mitigation Cases

On a more positive note.....

Sep 09, 2008 03:20 AM #6
Ted Komenda
Dunhill Group - Osterville, MA

I think its great when someone uses the power of words and more importantly intellect to deliver a point. 

Ted Komenda

Sep 17, 2008 08:24 AM #7
Robin Lundholm
Cape May, NJ

I need that sticker.  I have also learned that you cannot have someone arrested for being an idiot.  Trust me, I tried.

Sep 19, 2008 05:26 AM #8
Brenda Tressler
Crye-Leike Realtors - Clarksville, TN

Thank youGreat quotes... I really enjoyed reading this post. Thanks for sharing and I hope you have a great week-end Brenda :)

Sep 19, 2008 04:18 PM #9
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