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Hang Up Your Phone and Live Your Life

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with HomeBuyer Brokerage

Hearing a baby in distress is upsetting.

baby with a cat painted on her face

I was standing in line at the grocery store and I heard a baby's muffled cry. I did a quick scan of the area and didn't see the baby. Then she cried again and I saw her. She was scrunched onto one side of the baby seat of the grocery cart. Her head was hanging over the side of the cart and her feet had slipped onto the seat. She was in trouble! The baby's mother was standing right in front of her but her back was turned and she was typing furiously into her cellphone. 

Just then, an older man tapped the mother on the shoulder and said, "Hey now, you're baby needs you!" The young mother turned around, picked up her daughter and looked around the store like she was seeing it for the first time. 

We really need to take a break from our phones!

According to a study published in the Journal of Pediatric Research, when parents are on their cell phones they have fewer conversations and interactions with their children. This seems obvious but cell phones are so appealing that it's hard to look away. A local daycare center in Bethesda Maryland has a sign posted at the front door where parents pick up and drop off their children. It reads,

Parents, please hang up your phone. Your child wants to talk to you. 

 

I believe that people don't want to ignore their children or family members or friends. It's just that cell phones give us access to everything we desire, instantly.

I was watching a morning news show this week and a singer was performing in front of a live audience. Most of the people in the crowd had their cell phones in their hands, recording the singer. Some of the people were actually watching the performance through their cell phones. It was really weird to see!

Would the performance be better when they watched it later? How about enjoying the moment and the live performance?

 

 

 I'm guilty of spending too much time on my cell phone and I'm working on balancing phone time and free time. In real estate, a cell phone is a tool of the trade. Here are a few ways I've been managing my cell phone/screen time.

I hope these suggestions work for you!

  • The phone goes off at 9 pm and on at 7 am - unless I am in the middle of a negotiation, I limit my phone time to these hours. Keep the phone on vibrate in the evening and morning. This way, a phone call, text or email is less disruptive. 
  • The phone is off during meals and any social time with friends and family - This makes socializing easy and there are no interruptions.
  • Hiking in the woods or walking in the city with friends and family? -turn off the phone and look around. Pick up a map and use it instead of the navigation on the cell phone.
  • Feel the need to check your phone? Ask yourself why? I will mindlessly check my phone for nothing specific. At that moment, I am looking for a distraction from the moment. I've started to question why. 
Posted by

Victoria Lynne Henderson

Real estate broker and business owner of HomeBuyer Brokerage serving buyers in Washington DC, Maryland, and Virginia. Victoria was born in Washington D.C. and loves her hometown!

Learn more about exclusive buyer brokers & agents at HomeBuyer Brokerage

 

 

Certified Negotiation Expert

Serving home buyers in Washington D.C., Maryland & Virginia 

Comments(20)

Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

Victoria- I agree with everything that you said, and I too have to admit to loving my phone too much. When we're driving in the car (Larry is driving) I sometimes find myself looking at my email or the latest news. But I am working hard at putting it down and enjoying the scenery. My phone goes in silent mode from 11 pm to 7 am. 

Aug 28, 2018 05:10 PM
Victoria Ray Henderson
HomeBuyer Brokerage - Washington, DC
Washington DC Real Estate

Hi Kathy Streib I do the same thing in the car! Poor Marshall is driving and feeling ignored while I check email and read the paper. I'm changing my ways:) Thank you for stopping by the blog. It's always great to hear from you

Aug 28, 2018 05:41 PM
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Victoria, I so agree, the cell phones take over life.   Watching everyone at a restaurant - when you go to dinner with someone - they are both on the cell, not enjoying a conversation.  That is sad she did not hear her baby.

Aug 28, 2018 06:39 PM
Victoria Ray Henderson

I know Joan Cox it's really odd how tuned out we can get when we are looking at the tiny screen on our phone. Thanks for stopping by the blog!

Aug 29, 2018 05:20 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Good evening Victoria Ray Henderson Marshall Henderson ,

What a great post. I just finished the book the Origin..a scary thought to where we are going!

Aug 28, 2018 06:48 PM
Victoria Ray Henderson

Hi Dorie Dillard I'll look for the Origin. My book club is always looking for an interesting read. Thank you for commenting. Have a great day!

Aug 29, 2018 05:21 AM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

                                  

                                            Thank you Victoria and Marshall. 

Sep 01, 2018 06:06 PM
Victoria Ray Henderson

Thank you Kathy Streib I appreciate the feature!

Sep 02, 2018 05:21 AM
Sheila Anderson
Referral Group Incorporated - East Brunswick, NJ
The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133

Good morning Victoria. This is true and so very telling and scary too. Well done.

Sep 02, 2018 04:28 AM
Victoria Ray Henderson

Thank you Sheila. It is a bit scary how phones have taken over our lives. Have a good weekend!

Sep 02, 2018 05:22 AM
faye schubert
Retired - Branson, MO
Living the Branson Lake Life

Just take a look at a baseball game (which I admit is slow action) everyone is looking down at their phone and they paid good money to "watch" the game.

Sep 02, 2018 05:17 AM
Victoria Ray Henderson

So true faye schubert Thanks for stopping by the blog

Sep 02, 2018 05:23 AM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
Retired New Hampshire Home Stager

The video is never as good as being there. Recording a concert makes no sense at all to me. I wonder sometimes if some people are even capable anymore of living in the moment without a device.

Sep 02, 2018 06:55 AM
Victoria Ray Henderson

It's so weird! Remember when we had to wait to make a phone call? 

Sep 02, 2018 08:59 AM
Carol Williams
Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals. - Wenatchee, WA
Retired Agent / Broker / Prop. Mgr, Wenatchee, WA

Hi Victoria,
Amen, sista!  I am currently reading the book Mind Hacking: How to Change Your Mind For Good In 21 Days.  Controlling our addiction to our phones is a big part of that reprogramming.   On another level, which you touched on, I found myself so engrossed in taking pictures that I wasn't enjoying the moment.  I have reprogrammed myself to the point I forget to take any pictures and then have some regrets later.  Finding a nice balance is the key.

Sep 02, 2018 08:03 AM
Victoria Ray Henderson

Sounds like a really interesting book Carol Williams I'll have to look for it. I did the same thing with pictures and I've learned to take my picture and then put my phone away and enjoy. Have a great day!

Sep 02, 2018 09:00 AM
Carol Williams

Hi again Victoria Ray Henderson Marshall Henderson , It's a little laborious in the beginning as he works through some of the history of the early days of computers and software development but hang in there and follow the suggested exercises.  I'm not finished yet but so far so good.

Sep 02, 2018 09:15 AM
Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Broker
Elizabeth Anne Weintraub, Broker - Sacramento, CA
Put 40 years of experience to work for you

I never look for a distraction from a moment. Living life fully means participation. However, one of the reasons I am so freakin' successful at my job is because I answer my phone when no other agents do. It's just business. And I do a lot of business. But like you, I restrict computer / cell time to between 7 AM and 7 PM.

When I retire, I will not answer my phone.

Sep 02, 2018 10:44 AM
Victoria Ray Henderson

Thanks for commenting Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Real Estate Agent, Top 1% of Lyon Agents I agree with you! I won't answer my phone when I retire either if I ever retire

Sep 04, 2018 04:29 AM
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Good afternoon - I totally agree with this.  That mother was connected to the wrong thing.

Sep 02, 2018 11:04 AM
Pat Starnes-Front Gate Realty
Front Gate Real Estate - Brandon, MS
601-991-2900 Office; 601-278-4513 Cell

Guilty. Our devices are addictive. This is a great reminder to put them down, turn them off occasionally and live our lives.

Sep 02, 2018 04:06 PM
Victoria Ray Henderson

I'm guilty too Pat Starnes-Front Gate Realty thanks for stopping by the blog!

Sep 04, 2018 04:25 AM
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Victoria and Marshall

Wonderful reminder to us all about the distractions of cell phones, and the potential problems that could occur when we are so focused on the phone and not our surroundings.

Jeff

Sep 02, 2018 08:56 PM
Victoria Ray Henderson

Thanks Jeff Dowler, CRS appreciate your comment! Have a great week

Sep 04, 2018 04:25 AM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

It's hard to stop looking at the phone, but definitely necessary at times. We have to pay attention to family and friends when we're with them. 

Sep 03, 2018 03:44 AM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

I don't ever turn my phone off... I have aging parents, a law enforcement officer husband, a medic/nurse daughter and a firefighter/medic son in law... I never know what hour of the day one of them might need me.  But I'm in tune with life and know when to pay attention to the life I am living. 

Sep 03, 2018 08:33 PM
Victoria Ray Henderson

Good to hear Tammy Lankford, best of luck to you and your family! Have a great week

Sep 04, 2018 04:27 AM
Jay Beckingham
Christensen Financial Mortgage - Port St Lucie, FL
Seniors ROCK!

so we should control the phone, and not have the phone control us

Sep 05, 2018 05:51 AM
Hannah Williams
HomeStarr Realty - Philadelphia, PA
Expertise NE Philadelphia & Bucks 215-820-3376

The newer generation certainly has a real problem with cell phones Victoria Ray Henderson Marshall Henderson  They have it glued to them .I know when I go to visit my grandchildren who are upward of ages 9 - 17  the phones control their lives ..So glad Carol Williams  featured this in SCS as I missed your original post .I will say some older people have also become addicted to using their phones too

Sep 08, 2018 12:54 PM
Victoria Ray Henderson

The phones can be problematic for all ages Hannah Williams We've started playing more board games just to keep the conversation going and the phones out of everyone's hands. Have a great weekend!

Sep 08, 2018 01:44 PM
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Why do people bother to go anywhere and do anything with other people when all they're going to do is ignore the people they're with so they can be somewhere else with someone else on the darned phone?

It makes no sense at all.

Sep 08, 2018 03:52 PM
Victoria Ray Henderson

I agree with you Marte. These cellphones, with access to everything at your fingertips, are addicting. Take care and thanks for stopping by the blog!

Sep 09, 2018 10:25 AM
Georgie Hunter R(S) 58089
Hawai'i Life Real Estate Brokers - Haiku, HI
Maui Real Estate sales and lifestyle info

Very good post and so glad I got here by way of Kathy Streib. I think we are a ll a little guilty of staring at our phones too much.

Sep 11, 2018 04:53 PM
Jan Green - Scottsdale, AZ
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

Great advice. I've seen countless times children with parents on their phones.  That cn be very dangerous.  I practice your exact methodology of putting it on silence during times with friends and family.  Good for you!

Sep 16, 2018 05:03 PM
Victoria Ray Henderson

Hi Jan Green thank you for your comments. It's such a balancing act for those of us in the real estate business! Have a great week

Sep 17, 2018 08:22 AM