Ask An Ambassador: We Were All New Once

Real Estate Agent with RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 SAL.2002007747

feeeeeeliiiiinnnnnggggsssssWe all started new, whether fresh out of womb or as members of this community.

When we were young we were taught the sticks and stones saying, but that saying is a total lie.  Words do hurt.  They can be quite discouraging. 

If you've been in this community awhile you've probably run into the occasional jerky comment.  It's a small percentage in the Rain (especially when compared to Facebook!), but it still happens.

Now for me there's a basic ground rule for how contrary I can be.

If a legitimate author has written a post that is clearly consumer facing and meant to bring them business, the option is pretty simple.  Support or scroll on. (possible exception if unethical, illegal or spam).

Now if the author is writing to this community and not the public, then disagreements should be fair game, but still in a playing nice in the sandbox fashion.  There are plenty of topics we can disagree on, pick your poison.  Zillow, open houses, part time vs full time, whether an agent should have a college degree, etc.

There's plenty of room for debate isn't there?

But if someone is new to the community, they probably don't realize the ground rules most of us expect. 

They may be the bull in the china shop because that's how they're used to operating elsewhere. 

Or they may see one of us as the bull in their china shop.  Their blogging skin is still pretty fragile and they're just getting started blogging, still finding their voice and one of us is kicking them in the virtual shins.  

They may not even know they can delete that comment so they're "stuck" with it on that post they worked hard to create!  (and if you don't know how to delete a comment, hover your mouse over the bottom right of any blog post comment and you'll see "Delete Report Comment" links appear.  Click Delete and follow the bouncing ball.) 

And going back to my early days, it meant alot when I got those first comments from those that were mega pointers (okay, back in the day the community didn't even have its first millionaire yet), the fact that those comments were supportive meant much to me.  Now imagine if those early comments hadn't been supportive?  I might have been gone a long, long time ago.

This community needs new members, so let's remember how we felt when we first got here.



 Until next Tuesday, just Ask An Ambassador if you need help!

Bill of Liz and Bill aka BLiz


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Serving Warren County Ohio & Adjacent Areas


The Liz Spear Team of RE/MAX Elite
Elizabeth Spear, ABR, CRS, Ohio License SAL.2002007747

William (Bill) Spear, CRS, Ohio License SAL.2004011109  Kentucky 77938
Ask for us by name if you visit the office!

EHO Two locations: Lebanon & Mason, OH
Bill Direct:  513-520-5305
Liz Direct: 513-265-3004     
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Kat Palmiotti
Grand Lux Realty, Monroe NY, 914-419-0270, - Monroe, NY
The House Kat

My very first post received a bunch of comments; and then a member contacted me privately to let me know about the process for responding to comments/etc. It was quite welcoming. I do think we should ensure we try to encourage new members to continue.

Sep 12, 2018 03:31 AM #2
Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR
Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate

Good morning Bill,

Glad to see this post featured. A good reminder to play nice and especially with new members who are trying their hand a blogging. A welcoming hand is always appreciated and it won't hurt to be nurturing and encouraging too!

Sep 12, 2018 03:52 AM #3
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good morning Liz and Bill. After years in the Rain must say I have only received one snarky comment. Given the source, it was expected. Like Alan May, I prefer those who play nice in the sandbox!

Sep 12, 2018 04:53 AM #4
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

When I first joined, I remember many other newbies making an effort (to comment & post) and being told someone already blogged or posted about this subject and then completely brushed-off and dismissed. I was concerned that I would pick a subject and be told that too! How would a newbie know? Then, I realized that even though the subject (s) have been brought up before, they haven't by the person doing it for the first time. Patience, support, encouragement and respect for learning curves keeps us all human and in agreement. Bring back the rules of childhood: simple & fun. Lighten-up

Sep 12, 2018 06:12 AM #5
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hello Bill (and Liz) --- legitimate blogs should be acknowledged as appropriate but I understand the frustration that currently exists on this site. Hopefully this too will pass.  As far as "legitimate"  posts --- remember what is written lasts forever. 

Sep 12, 2018 06:15 AM #6
Shirley Coomer
Keller Williams Realty Sonoran Living - Phoenix, AZ
Realtor, Keller Williams Realty, Phoenix Az

We have all been there.  Those that feel a need to post an unkind comment (really, what benefit do they expect to get with unkindness) have other issues going on.  Perhaps insecurity, feeling threatened, etc.  We all need to understand Karma.  Out moms were right, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything.

Sep 12, 2018 06:23 AM #7
Scott Godzyk
Godzyk Real Estate Services - Manchester, NH
One of Manchester NH's Leading Agents

I do not think there is an increase in negative comments, just that comments are getting more negative. A lot of times you see the same person who is always negative. If i do not like something i skip it. I think the problem here has been magnified by the trend of people who get offended easily and lash out. Civility is seemingly out the window to half of America and I hope those odds that are taking over Facebook do not increase here too. 

Sep 12, 2018 06:25 AM #8
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Hi Bill- this is a very special community unlike any other. And different opinions help us learn as long as they are served up with a healthy dose of civility. Scott Godzyk brings up a very good point...many people are easily offended and resort to what they see elsewhere. 

Sep 12, 2018 09:39 AM #9
Anna Banana Kruchten CRB, CRS 602-380-4886
Phoenix Property Shoppe - Phoenix, AZ
Arizona's Top Banana!

Hi Bliz I look back to my early years in the rain back in 08 and seriously there were so many people willing to help my learn the ropes and encourage me on. Amazing really. I knew very little about online techie stuff and holy smokes after 10 years agents in my area ask me all the time HOW do you know all that stuff?  That's easy - from ActiveRain members and leaders.  I've run into very few 'ranter' folks on this platform and if I do I move on and if they've left a snarky comment well - bye bye delete. 

Sep 12, 2018 01:25 PM #10
Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Realtor Top 1%
RE/MAX Gold - Sacramento, CA
Put 40 years of experience to work for you

Now that you mention it, Bill, I haven't really seen very many newcomers. Seems like all the usual suspects. But why would somebody lash out at a person they don't even know? That sounds peculiar.

Even if I know a person who has written what I might deem to be an extremely objectionable blog, and I've spotted a few of those lately, I just don't comment on it. If I have nothing nice to say, I'll come over and sit by you. But I won't put it in a blog that could offend even the idiot who wrote it. LOL.

Sep 12, 2018 02:37 PM #11
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Thank you.  Those who constantly are mean for the sake of being mean to students who have been sent here by a teacher just irk me.  

I will often give my opinion to those who ask or like you said a post that's clearly written to the community even if I disagree, but I always try to respectfully disagree, not mean girl disagree.

But like you on a public pointing post I just move along little doggie.

Sep 12, 2018 06:43 PM #12
Jeff Dowler, CRS
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Bill

This is advice that bears repeating regularly, and especially for those who may just be getting their feet wet. Some people just don't know the ropes and perhaps can use help from others. Some know full well what they are doing.


Sep 12, 2018 09:22 PM #13
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

I always encourage agents I talk with to come here and participate. I recall one in particular who said she posted once, and some people were so mean that she'd never do it again. I tried to assure her that most of us are NOT mean, but she wasn't about to stick her neck out again.

Overall, this is a kind and helpful community - I hope we can keep it that way.

Sep 12, 2018 10:07 PM #14
Debbie Gartner
The Flooring Girl - White Plains, NY
The Flooring Girl & Blog Stylist -Dynamo Marketers

Yes, while this place is much better than facebook, people still need to think about the impact they have on others, especially on that person's post.  If you don't have anything nice to say, just move on.

Sep 13, 2018 04:43 AM #15
John Juarez
The Medford Real Estate Team - Fremont, CA

I enjoy AR for its camaraderie, sharing members, intelligence, ability to learn, maybe build a relationship or two, entertainment, maybe gain business…and other reasons. I don’t come to AR to shame or belittle anyone. I pass up temptations to display my own narrowmindedness.

Sep 13, 2018 07:16 AM #16
Greg Mona
Faira Homes Corp - Scottsdale, AZ
Real Estate in the 21st Century!

Thank you for bringing this topic up, Liz and Bill Spear. It is a nice way to encourage new(er) members to feel free to blog away without hesitation, and a good reminder for those of us who have been in "the Rain" for several years but who don't post very often. 

Sep 13, 2018 09:29 AM #17
Lisa Heindel
Crescent City Living LLC - New Orleans, LA
New Orleans Real Estate Broker

I remember when I first joined there was a tradition of featuring a newbie's first post, allowing people to get to know and support them. I wonder how that would go over today?

Sep 13, 2018 09:52 AM #18
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
New Hampshire Home Stager

Social media has become so full of anger and instant lashing out. I'm happy that I don't see as much here as elsewhere. We really need to get a handle on the problem before it consumes us.

Sep 13, 2018 02:09 PM #19
Janice Zaltman Realtor, LEED AP
United Realty Group - Boca Raton, FL

Hi Bill: I like that...virtual shins.  So how do we build that think social skin? The world is full of various opinions. Negative or angry comments can make one retreat fast!

Sep 13, 2018 07:00 PM #20
Charita Cadenhead
Keller Williams Realty - Birmingham, AL
Serving Jefferson and Shelby Counties (Alabama)

BLiz this just cannot be posted enough.  I remember the early days when we use to see a lot of combat on AR and I was so glad when it subsided.  Fighting on the playground used to be a frequent occurrence but I'm so glad that they became few and far between (at least among the blogs that I followed).

Sep 14, 2018 08:51 AM #21
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