We knew it would happen one day. After all, we were prepared for it - or so we thought. It turns out, you're never quite prepared to lose someone you love. For those of you who have followed the saga of our multigenerational home, you know we chose our living arrangement when my dad was diagnosed with Dementia. In addition, dad had a multitude of other health issues including congestive heart failure. On Thursday morning, September 13, 2018 dad finally passed. Quietly and without drama, just the way he wanted.
Since coming home from the the hospital in March, we have spent many hours taking care of him. The hospice folks assumed he would die within weeks, but dad has never been one to follow the norm - or rules. He hasn't been able to get out of bed for months and that posed a number of challenges. However, we have all handled the ordeal with patience and humor - dad included. The day before he died, he must have known. He shook hands with the man who has bathed him, kissed the hand of his hospice nurse, bringing her to tears, and quietly mouthed "I love you," to my sister, mom, and me - especially to mom, repeatedly. My sister's grandson, a visiting marine, held his hand for several hours. Other grandchildren, including my daughter, used FaceTime to say hello - or as it turns out, to say goodbye.
We spent a lot of time with him the night before he died, kissing his cheek and forehead and telling him how much we love him. He kept reaching up with his arms to some unseen place and mumbled words we couldn't quite understand. It was quite fascinating to witness. We finally went to bed when he fell asleep. I got up to give him medicine at 2 am and his breathing was labored, but steady. Naturally, I barely slept. At 6:30am, with our coffee pots brewing in the kitchen, my sister and I checked on him, he was still asleep and still breathing. It was Mom, getting up at 7:00 AM, who found him, quiet. She came into my room -"I think he's gone, Debb."
He was gone. Looking peaceful, his battle was finally over. We are grateful for hospice who arrived within the hour to guide us through the process. Flowers and condolences are pouring in and mom is handling it better than expected. It's going to take some time though, to get through the big empty space left in our house and in our hearts. I sat his chair drinking my coffee this morning, remembering the many mornings I brought him his first cup. It was a special time for the two of us - moments I will forever treasure. Goodbye to you sweet father - until we meet again.
We all love you!
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