Are You Listening?

Real Estate Broker/Owner with Aspen Lane Real Estate Colorful Colorado CRE# 40005863

There is seldom a day that passes that I don't scratch my head and wonder why people have lost the art of listening. 

I deal with sales-people everyday.  They come in my office un-invited to tell me all about their products and services and try to convince me that I just can't live without them.  Many of these folks are top producers in their companies.  They slam the deals in regardless of what it takes.  Sometimes, they remind me of the big bullies at grade school picking on the smart, skinny kid with glasses.  They get what they want through fear and manipulation.  


Of course, I was and always will be a rebel or non-conformist.  These bullies don't intimidate me even for one minute.  In fact, I am the big mouthed kid who stands up to the bullies and tells them to leave the other kids alone.


I am lucky to also work with some true professionals who know their craft and are genuinely good people.  They aren't arrogant or pushy.  They explain themselves (and their product) calmly and pause for a response from me.  They leave open segments in the presentation for others to jump in and add external content to the conversation. 


I learned from an early age that if you want to succeed in sales (or most anything else in life), you need to zip your mouth and actually listen.  People will tell you everything you need to know.  You just need to be respectful, engaged and listen. 

I hope this post reminds all of us to take time to listen.  

You never know what you might learn :)






Comments (41)

Barbara Michaluk
Weichert Realtors | Silver Spring, MD Phone Direct 240-506-2434 - Silver Spring, MD
Leisure World Specialist / Full Service REALTOR

Belinda Spillman, I'm listening to you share your views about listening. I agree with your sentiment that we should all practice the fine art of listening more and we will be surprised what we learn from others.

Oct 04, 2018 05:30 AM
Belinda Spillman

Listening can opening up a whole new world.

Oct 04, 2018 08:27 AM
Scott Godzyk
Godzyk Real Estate Services - Manchester, NH
One of the Manchester NH's area Leading Agents

To know when to talk and when to listen is the key to life and business. Bullies will be bullies and they come in all forms, especially sales people who barge in

Oct 04, 2018 05:31 AM
Belinda Spillman

Gotta love those sales people.

Oct 04, 2018 08:28 AM
Muhammad Mushtaq
Weichert, Realtors® - SBA Group - Fall River, MA

We are given two ears 👂 👂 and one mouth 👄 for a reason 🤔.

Oct 04, 2018 05:38 AM
Tonya R. Taylor - Columbia, MD
Tell me 1 thing you want to learn about marketing?

As much as I love automation I think we get lost in responding a certain way instead of listening more and speaking less. Slow down and just listen. Thanks for starting the conversation.

Oct 04, 2018 06:41 AM
Belinda Spillman

Thanks for listening :)

Oct 04, 2018 08:28 AM
Indy Home Vault
Indy Home Vault - Westfield, IN
Indy Home Vault

INdeed we should really know how to listen

Oct 04, 2018 08:07 AM
M.C. Dwyer
Century 21 Showcase REALTORs - Felton, CA
MC Dwyer-Santa Cruz Mountains Property Specialist

It takes both discipline and patience to really, actively the conviction that what they have to say is way more important than whatever I have to say.     Really actively listening is worth all the effort though.   Thanks for a great post Belinda Spillman.

Oct 04, 2018 08:32 AM
Belinda Spillman

You are right.  It does take some work to tune in to what the talker is really saying, but what do you have to lose?

Oct 04, 2018 12:19 PM
John Marshall - FORE!
LoKation Real Estate - Cherry Hills Village, CO
Specializing in Golf Course Properties

Listening is an acquired skill and the most important skill in communication, it is amazing how many people walk into the office uninvited and puke all over you and then actually expect you to buy what they are selling.

This is the same thing as cold calling in my book, and I refuse to do it.

Oct 04, 2018 08:46 AM
Belinda Spillman

Ha ha.  You are so right!

Oct 04, 2018 12:20 PM
Dana Basiliere
Rossi & Riina Real Estate - Williston, VT
Making deals "Happen"

We all get those pushy, pesky cold calls from people selling us what we "have to have" to get more businness.  You tell them no thank you I am fine and they say "so you don't want any more business"?  And I say "no, I can barley handle what I have", click.

Oct 04, 2018 09:06 AM
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

The day we truly listen is the day we discover it is more than a word....

Oct 04, 2018 09:12 AM
Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Realtor Top 1%
RE/MAX Gold - Sacramento, CA
Put 40 years of experience to work for you

I heard an amusing story yesterday from a new client. She is a successor trustee of a home in Carmichael, so I had to ask if anybody died in the house. The answer to that question was no, thank goodness, but then she went on to tell me about a rural home she almost bought.

The agent told her there was a death on the property, so she, being inquisitive, asked how. He launched into a story about the owner being on probation, wearing an ankle bracelet. How he grabbed a hacksaw and walked to the back property line to try to cut off his ankle bracelet. Criminals are stupid for the most part. During the sawing part, he managed to nick an artery with the hacksaw, bled to death on the spot and died.

As a result of listening to her, now every time I talk about a death on the property, this story will come out of my mouth.

Oct 04, 2018 09:14 AM
Laura Filip

Oh my goodness how sad this is.... 

Oct 04, 2018 03:46 PM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hello Belinda --- life(including all things real estate and mortgage related) tests my head-scratching skills on a daily basis. 

Oct 04, 2018 09:17 AM
PeterMark SEO
PeterMarkSEO - Holiday, FL

So true

Oct 04, 2018 10:01 AM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
New Hampshire Home Stager

I used to be in the customer satisfaction aspect of a car dealership business. Listening was such an integral part of the training we had for the sales force. 

Over talking and under listening is a huge problem with sales people.

Oct 04, 2018 10:19 AM
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

I think not listening is a problem with all of society now. Sometimes I sit back and listen to conversations and think "They're all talking about different subjects."

Oct 04, 2018 01:52 PM
Pat Starnes-Front Gate Realty
Front Gate Real Estate - Brandon, MS
601-991-2900 Office; 601-278-4513 Cell

Oh Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Real Estate Agent, Top 1% of Lyon Agents you will never forget that story! Yikes.

Belinda, I will always listen to what you have to say. :-)

Oct 04, 2018 03:36 PM
Laura Filip
Laura Filip Broker , Opening doors for All Seasons of Life - Whitesboro, TX
What can we do for you today?

Thank you for sharing the topic of just take a moment and listen to what is being said. Listen and them wait a minute and see what is said next. 

Oct 04, 2018 03:48 PM
Tom Bailey
Margaret Rudd & Associates Inc. - Oak Island, NC

Good listening is a very hard skill to learn. The hardest part is to really listen. Most people as Steven Covey said " listen to reply". I catch myself doing it all the time!

Oct 04, 2018 04:07 PM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

You know that kind of behavior has made me much less of a "closer" in theory.  Oddly enough my "laid back" buy it if you want to attitude ... gets me just as many contracts.

Oct 04, 2018 07:06 PM
Karen Feltman
Cedar Rapids/Iowa City, IA KW Legacy Group - Cedar Rapids, IA
Relocation Specialist in Cedar Rapids, Iowa

There is a reason that we have two ears and one mouth. If we listen to their concerns, their feelings, their wants, their needs....we can find a much better solution.  Knowing more and asking the right questions is the key.  And listening!  Thank you for posting.

Oct 07, 2018 01:23 PM
Jan Green
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

Great post Belinda!  It's crazy how many times I feel that vendors aren't listening. Happened today - ugh!  

Oct 08, 2018 07:38 PM

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