PLEASE DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER

By
Education & Training with Performance Development Strategies

 

Have you ever started a meeting or announcement with the phrase."Now please don't shoot the messenger?"  If you have found yourself in this situation  please read on.  If you are a broker owner I am sure you have found yourself in this situation.

The message may not be welcome but the way the messenger delivers it makes all the difference in the world.  I should add that you need to have empathy. I recently met with the leaders of one of my Westchester County New York organizations to present results of an employee survey. The employees felt that there were had been many changes and they didn’t understand why. Productivity almost always suffers in times of great change because employee stress dramatically increases due to the universal fear of the unknown. Often senior executives genuinely believe they are communicating with employees when it comes to matters that affect them. Unfortunately, they often underestimate the number of matters that includes.

Can you say with certainty that you know what is important to your team or your employees and what to tell them? The only way to know is to put yourself in their shoes and see things from their position and mindset. Think to yourself, “If I were hearing this information what would I be worried about right now in the current situation?” If you were that employee what would be important for you to know? What is the worst thing that could happen, and would you want to know about it in advance? How would you want to be told?

How would you be answering these questions? You can’t answer the questions without the input from your team—the people affected by the changes. Depending on how much you can discuss, or how much is already known, you might ask a few individuals what the grapevine is saying, and what people are worrying and wondering about.

Now, armed with this information, draft the answers to the questions. Of course they must be truthful answers, for insincerity is easily recognized and will deal a deathblow to your communication efforts. Then they must be couched in terms that are clear and uncompromising, but also considerate and compassionate. It's worth spending some time on this part. Lack of commitment to your message is also easily read and will automatically raise the cynicism level among employees.

You should carefully consider the media used to communicate your message. The way a person receives news can dramatically affect how he or she feels about it, so you need to choose the medium very carefully. E-mail can be perceived as cold and unfeeling in many cases, although it is useful for routine updates that don't have emotional overtones. Some messages are better spoken, either by managers to their groups or by the CEO to the whole organization.

If the messengers don't have highly developed communication skills, it's worth engaging services of people can coach them in the tools of two way communication. The message must remain honest, clear, and compassionate.

 

Communication

And above all, follow through on your commitments and promises. Nothing turns employees off more than empty words. Sincere, caring, ongoing communication can form the basis for building employee engagement when the present time of turmoil ends.  For a similar post on our web site read DOES YOUR MESSAGE INFORM ON CONFUSE?

How are you communicating? Could you use help in doing it better?

Contact us to learn more

or call 914-953-4458.

 

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Re-Blogged 3 times:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Roy Kelley 01/07/2019 01:00 AM
  2. Debbie Reynolds 11/01/2018 02:00 PM
  3. Will Hamm 12/05/2018 02:16 PM
Topic:
Real Estate Best Practices
Location:
New York Westchester County
Groups:
Coaching and Mentoring
Tags:
dont shoot the messenger
empathy in communication
helping westchester county new york businesses deliver clear messages

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Rainmaker
1,824,507
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Kathy - Just had one of these with a interaction with a volunteer organization.

Jeff - oh yes true,  that is the same as starting with, "I have some bad news." 

Oct 26, 2018 03:52 AM #23
Ambassador
2,844,350
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Typically every late December or early January sales meeting when I'm going over the changes in the contract for the year.  We learn it, they change it. LOL  Oh how I wish those contract auhors would do what I do and you suggest and listen to feedback before making changes.

Oct 27, 2018 09:53 AM #24
Rainmaker
3,751,104
Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR
Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate

Good evening Grant Schneider,

The medium we use to deliver messages is so important. Communication is the key and best face to face when you know there will be questions and a need to answer them honestly, clearly and concisely.

Oct 27, 2018 02:14 PM #25
Rainmaker
2,086,945
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
New Hampshire Home Stager

Congratulations on the well deserved feature!

You always have so much wisdom to share!

“If I were hearing this information what would I be worried about right now in the current situation?”

Oct 27, 2018 02:50 PM #26
Rainmaker
150,247
John Henry
John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc. - Orlando, FL
Residential Architect, Luxury Custom Home Design

Good feature, important for anyone collecting date for feedback.

Oct 27, 2018 03:10 PM #27
Rainmaker
608,738
Debra Leisek
Bay Realty,Inc Homer Alaska - Homer, AK

Wonderful post!  It is very true the message should be honest and clear with the same compassion you would want to be treated with. Do unto others and all that!

Oct 28, 2018 12:20 AM #28
Rainmaker
1,824,507
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Tammy - that would certainly be the best way to do it.

Dorie - I always prefer face to face even if it is multiple groups.

Sharon - yes, feel what the other person feels.

John - thank you.

Debra - the operating word here is empathy

Oct 28, 2018 04:41 AM #29
Rainmaker
3,211,859
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hello Grant - so much of the "message"  is in the delivery.  Be careful/mindful/ thoughtful. In real estate. And in real life.

Oct 28, 2018 08:33 AM #30
Rainmaker
1,824,507
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Michael - yes, that is exactly right.  The delivery includes the non verbal as well.

Oct 28, 2018 03:04 PM #31
Ambassador
3,981,808
Debbie Reynolds
Platinum Properties - Clarksville, TN
Your Dedicated Clarksville TN Real Estate Agent

I have not started a meeting that way but have certainly felt like I should. I have to watch my body language and expressions. I am so transparent.

Oct 30, 2018 07:45 PM #32
Rainmaker
1,824,507
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Debbie - I have not either but sometimes you need to be aware.

Oct 31, 2018 08:00 AM #33
Rainmaker
691,127
Bill Roberts
Brooks and Dunphy Real Estate - Oceanside, CA
"Baby Boomer" Retirement Planner

OK Grant Schneider I'm considering the media (medium?) and I really wonder if those tin cans work?

Oh well, it is the old question of which do you want first, the good news or the bad.

And just how bad is it, anyway?

I don't have any answers for you, I'm just glad you wrote this.

Bill Roberts

Nov 01, 2018 03:18 PM #34
Rainmaker
3,160,347
Sally K. & David L. Hanson
EXP Realty 414-525-0563 - Brookfield, WI
WI Realtors - Luxury - Divorce

In days gone by...it was what we prepared for with every short sale presentation.

Nov 01, 2018 05:41 PM #35
Rainmaker
1,824,507
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Bill - thanks for checking in.  Glad to hear from you.

Sally and David - prior preparation prevents poor performance.

Nov 02, 2018 08:25 AM #36
Rainmaker
3,484,672
Sheila Anderson
Referral Group Incorporated - East Brunswick, NJ
The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133

Good morning Grant. This is thoughtful and specific and that really matters. Well done.

Dec 06, 2018 06:33 AM #37
Rainmaker
1,824,507
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Sheila - thank you.  I appreciate that.

Dec 06, 2018 09:58 AM #38
Rainmaker
4,829,757
Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Franklin, MA
Marketing Agent for The Todaro Team

Good morning, Grant Schneider the art of communication is not one that everyone is well-versed with....but for those who are not, they'd be wise to assign that task to others....

Jan 07, 2019 03:03 AM #39
Rainmaker
3,751,104
Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR
Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate

Good morning Grant Schneider ,

I'm glad that Roy Kelley re-blogged your post months later from your posting. The message is worth reading again. The medium we use to deliver messages is so important!

Jan 07, 2019 04:56 AM #40
Rainmaker
5,218,250
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

Good Monday morning, Grant.

Have a great day and an outstanding week.

Jan 07, 2019 05:30 AM #41
Rainmaker
1,824,507
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Barbara - I would say everyone has mis steps once in a while.

Dorie - communication issues happen every day even when we are versed at it.

Roy - thank you for re blogging.

Jan 08, 2019 06:09 AM #42
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